A Mother's Nightmare
by CJLogan
Summary: When her son is taken, a nightmare from JJ's past comes back with a vengeance. With a little help from Emily and the rest of the team, she might just survive this - or will the darkness consume her? Femslash. Strong adult themes, including a brief description of rape in Chapter Six.
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note**: Will is mentioned in this story, but may not really appear, and Emily only 'left' once. JJ still left, and still came back just like on the show, and I'm considering including the plot line for Emily's second departure in later chapters, but I'm not decided on that yet. Anyway, the next two chapters are written in full, minus a little proof-reading, and chapter four is about half done. I'm not going to withhold updates in return for reviews, because that's just mean, but as always, your comments would be very, very appreciated.

**Disclaimer:** All I own is my imagination.

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**_Chapter One;_ Some Silver Linings Have A Cloud**

It was Henry who saw him first, from his Transformer veiled bedroom window. His little brow furrowed in contemplation as he watched the ominous, slightly shadowed figure through his innocent, blue eyes; his only thought that it was far too cold outside to be playing on the tyre swing.

"Come on, little man." JJ wondered into the room, naturally picking up toys and tossing them into Henry's toy box as she did. "It's time for bed."

Henry continued with his intense stare before looking to JJ with as big of a sigh as his small lungs could muster. "But mommy, I wanna play on the swing too."

It wasn't that she didn't hear the implications in his words but exhaustion, as well as years of practice with a son who isn't fond of bedtime, pushed JJ to assume that the little guy had simply gotten his words jumbled up and was referring to a conversation that she had had with him earlier about playing outside when it's below 30.

"Perhaps tomorrow, sweetie." The blonde replied before patting the bed beside her. "Now, come on. Into bed."

The small boy shook his head in disappointment and reluctantly hopped down off of the window ledge and climbed up into bed, which was unsurprisingly covered in Transformers too.

"Story time!" It seemed that any memory of the tyre swing had long since left his mind.

"Nope." The blonde shook her head. "You had a choice earlier buster, an extra thirty minutes of TV time or a story when I tuck you in."

The four year old simply smiled in response, his blue eyes sparkling mischievously.

Flicking on the small lamp beside the bed, dancing jellyfish showered the walls of the room as JJ pressed a kiss to her son's head and pulled the comforter up around him. "Nice try. Sleep well, Baby Star."

Henry was already in the clutches of sleep as he responded, "Goodnight mommy. You should tell him to put a jacket on so he doesn't get the sniffles."

Beyond tired, she was, but the agent in her never slept, and though her son's sleepy mumblings were probably no more than just that, her instincts pushed her to peak outside. Seeing that there was nothing there but lightly falling snow - a slight confirmation to her earlier theory; Henry loved the snow – she pulled the curtains and left her son's room, leaving the door slightly ajar as she always did.

Back downstairs, JJ poured herself a glass of wine and flopped back onto her sofa just as her phone buzzed in her pocket. Sliding a finger across the screen, she effectively unlocked her phone and opened the text message:

_My sheets still smell like you._

She smiled to herself as a memory caused a heat to stir low in her stomach and she immediately hit reply.

_That's funny, because I can still feel your fingers against my skin._

She wasn't good at this whole 'sexting' thing, but the recipient had brought something out in her that she never knew she possessed. It didn't take long for the phone to buzz again.

_Oh yeah? I think there's somewhere else we'd both rather them be.._

She felt like a school girl with a crush, again something that the sender brought out in her each and every time that they made contact, and she sank further down on the sofa as a shy yet somewhat devilish smirk played across her pink lips.

_Where would that be, Miss Prentiss?_

Closing her eyes, she anticipated a response, her mind flooding with the scent, touch, and feel of her one time and slightly audacious lover, the heat somewhere deep inside her stirring once more until she felt it's physical presence pool between her legs. The next message was opened just as quickly as it appeared on her phone:

_I love it when you play innocent. I think I need to fuck that innocence right out of you._

The dominance of the last sentence sent a shot of pleasure right through to JJ's core and if words alone could achieve such a thing, she was certain that she would have come right in that instant, but the second message came through before she was even done recovering from the first:

_I want you to slowly lift your skirt – I know you're still wearing it. Most people would opt for comfier clothes after leaving the office, but I think you like the thought of what I would do to you if I by chance stopped by your house._

JJ couldn't help but giggle. _Damn profilers_, she thought. The brunette couldn't have been more correct, though. She'd been home for hours and yet she was still wearing the same black, pencil skirt and white shirt that she had worn for work that day. She knew that Emily loved to see her in skirts, and it was true that her motivation for still wearing it now was purely for that reason. It was also true that the older woman would never simply turn up at her house essentially just to fuck her – they were taking this as slow as possible given the logistics of entering into a relationship with a co-worker. But the fantasy still held strong – so strong that it would stay with her long after she had crawled into bed and allowed her fingertips to glide along an aching clit; long after she came hard with Emily's name on her lips and a somehow increased longing between her thighs - and because of that, she purposely hadn't bothered to change.

Placing her wine glass on the coffee table, JJ replied before doing as she was instructed, sliding the soft material slowly up her thighs, naturally imagining the older agent knelt before her with deliciously seductive eyes as she did.

_A girl can hope._

The response again was instantaneous:

_Perhaps you're not as innocent as I thought. Did you do as you were told?_

Smirking to herself again, JJ replied.

_Yes. You have no idea how much I want you right now._

Impatiently awaiting a response, the younger woman untucked her shirt from the waist of her skirt and allowed her cool fingers to grace the heated skin of her taut stomach as she squeezed her thighs together. She could feel the wetness between her legs increasing as her fingers travelled further and further, stopping at her chest and she breathed a sigh of both relief and pleasure as she roughly squeezed her breast over the material of her bra. Her hips were moving involuntarily against the sofa and she wasn't certain how long she could hold off.

_I'm sure I do. Just as I'm sure you're doing far more than you've been permitted to right now._

_Busted_, JJ thought to herself as a further message came through:

_Perhaps I should punish you for your impatience?_

She'd barely finished reading the message when the doorbell rang, and like she somehow just _knew_, it took no more than a blink for her to be up from the sofa and at the door, desire fuelling her the whole way.

Emily looked at the disheveled appearance of the blonde and smirked, "I guess I was right," before pulling a wide eyed JJ to her and pressing her lips firmly against hers.

Walking both of them inside, she kicked the door closed with her foot and pressed JJ to the nearest wall, breathing heavily against the blonde's open mouth. "Did your mother never tell you that patience is a virtue, Ms. Jareau?"

"I'd rather not think about my mother right now." JJ breathed before grabbing a fistful of raven hair and pressing her lips back to Emily's.

No time was wasted, and in an instant Emily had the blonde's skirt hiked up around her hips and a smooth, tan leg thrown over her own. Her left hand gripped fiercely at the blonde's thigh that had wrapped itself tighter around her waist as she pressed her hip bone into JJ. She couldn't resist digging her short fingernails into the soft skin that filled her palm – and was rewarded with a sound that fell perfectly between pleasure and pain – before she allowed her fingers to trail slowly up towards the blonde's, disappointingly, material covered arse. "Oh this won't do. Maybe I misjudged just how impatient you are."

With heavy eyelids, JJ pushed the brunette from her and forced her panties to her feet in an instant, showing Emily just how impatient she really could be. Tossing them aside, she grabbed a handful of dark hair once again and pulled the older woman back to where she belonged. "Fuck me, Agent Prentiss."

Emily had always prided herself on being a fairly together person, but as the woman in her grasp made demands that were uncharacteristic for her, she felt her brain melt into a puddle of mush. She had always been the dominant one, in any relationship, but it was clear that JJ had the upper hand here and she felt surprisingly okay with that.

Blindly following her command, Emily pulled the blonde's leg back over her thigh and thrust two fingers deep inside of her in unison; held them there briefly as JJ whimpered at the sudden but welcome invasion and then finally, slowly, she moved them; in, out, in, out, almost teasingly.

"Stop being a tease! Please baby.. Please. You can.. Oh god.. You can take your time later but I need to come!" The blonde breathed as she ground herself against the fingers inside her, and Emily smiled at just how impatient the woman in her grasp truly was becoming.

"Tell me what you want.." Emily moaned as she felt sharp teeth nip at her collarbone; who knew that Jennifer Jareau was a biter? "Mmm.. tell me exactly what you want me to do baby."

Her eyes flashed open nervously at the request – she had only ever done that via text message, and had only actually done that a handle of times recently – but they softened considerably as gentle, brown eyes met hers and teasing fingers thrust suddenly deeper. "I.. mmmm.. My clit.. rub my clit.. oh god please.."

Emily's pussy tingled as JJ's dirty words registered in her mind, and the feeling just served to make her meet the command even quicker, thrust her fingers a little faster, circle her thumb against a throbbing clit a little firmer. And JJ really must have been needy because before she had the chance to even really do anything more, that familiar tightness clamped down round her fingers, and as JJ's sounds suddenly ceased, as she suddenly stilled, as lungs suddenly stopped mid-inhale - something that Emily had recently come to learn was exactly what the younger woman did right before climax – she gave her the encouragement that she needed. "Come for me.. Come for me, baby.."

And there it was.. That exquisite disarray of sounds and profanities and shudders that, even if she had been blind and deaf, she would have still been able to relish in the heated liquid flooding out from JJ and into her palm, in the rapidly clamping muscles of a spasming pussy, in the sharp fingernails that dug carelessly into her skin until.. until all that was left were soft breaths falling directly into her ear, an exhausted head resting against her shoulder, small hands falling to her waist, sporadic ripples against her fingertips that she begrudged leaving behind as she withdrew from JJ.

For a while, she just held her, held her tight and pressed her lips gently to random exposed areas of skin. For while, until.. "I should probably leave."

Noticeably hurt, JJ lifted her head and naturally pulled back. "If that's what you want." She spoke defensively and moved to get away.

"No, love. It isn't what I want at all." Emily smiled, pulled the blonde back and placed a hand against her cheek. "I realize I kinda broke the rules already but.. that doesn't mean we should break them even more. It was what we decided was best. For work. And for that little guy upstairs."

JJ sighed knowing that Emily was right – they had decided that, and at the time, it was for good reasons. Those reasons still stood now, but as she looked intently at the woman before her, she couldn't bring herself to tell her to leave. So she didn't. "I want you to stay, Em."

"But what about-"

"It doesn't matter. I mean, it _does_ matter. It _really_ matters. But if the things I'm afraid of are going to happen, they're going to happen whether you spend the night or not." JJ looked down at the ground; her brain drifting slightly with the possibilities of all the negative places that this relationship could lead both of them.

Emily had never been one for wearing her heart on her sleeve; the thought alone terrified her beyond belief. But somehow, the distant and afraid look on JJ's face combined with the small hands that were now gripping the back of her shirt left her feeling both brave and protective. "I'm invested in this, JJ. And I'm invested in him too," she nodded her head towards the stairs and the small boy sleeping up there, "because he is a part of you. I know you heard those very same words from his father but," she saw the blonde shaking her head at her last words and used a hand to slowly lift JJ's chin to meet her gaze again, "I'm not him. As for work.. they don't need to know anything until we've figured out what we are. What this is."

JJ loosened her grip on Emily's shirt a little and smiled slightly, barely visible but genuine nonetheless. She opened her mouth to speak, but she wasn't entirely sure what to say. She just knew that she didn't want Emily to walk out of her front door right now. So she closed the gap between them and pressed her lips gently to the brunette's. The kiss was different from before - it was chaste but spoke volumes.

Reluctantly pulling her lips from Emily's, she moved them millimetre's from the brunette's ear and whispered, "You're going to be bad for business. I can tell."

Emily laughed instantly. "Did you actually just quote Moulin Rouge at me?"

A proud smirk on her face, JJ responded, "Well, it works. It's a hot movie. And, well, if Strauss catches wind of this you really are going to be bad for business."

"Oh that's okay then. For a moment there I thought you wanted payment for this." She earnt herself a swift punch to the arm. "Ouch!"

JJ smiled, a strange warmth burning throughout her whole body as she watched Emily laugh; she found herself missing it when it ceased, but the smile still present on the brunette's face was more than enough of a consolation prize. "Let's go to bed."

The pair set about locking up the house for the evening. Like a married couple, they fell easily into what seemed like a natural routine. Emily checked the back door whilst JJ checked the front; Emily got the lights whilst JJ grabbed them each a glass of water; Emily took the drinks from JJ and headed to the bedroom whilst JJ checked in on Henry.

"No... No..." Emily heard the faint mumbling as she made her way to the bathroom to brush her teeth, and though she wasn't fully certain what she was hearing, instinct immediately told her that something was wrong.

"No! Henry!" The blonde screamed.

She heard that. She definitely heard that and instinct pushed her running feet to the small boys bedroom before she could blink; opening her mouth to speak before her eyes adjusted. "J-"

JJ's eyes were wide as she frantically checked the closet, underneath the bed, even the damn drawers as she searched. Suddenly, a breeze caused the Transformer covered curtains to blow and the whole world stopped moving, for both JJ and Emily, as realisation dawned on them.

"He's gone, Emily.."


	2. Chapter 2

******Author's Note:** Thank you guys so much for your reviews and follows. Here is a quick update to show my gratitude. :D

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**_Chapter Tw_o_;_ The Stages of Grief**

A tragedy can bring out both the best and the worst in you; it can push you to do things that you never thought that you would. Those things, vary for each individual person. Some people break down, some people lash out, some people play ignorance, some people find themselves extremely numb.

Some people experience all of the above.

And the latter is exactly how Jennifer Jareau found herself as she stood at her son's bedroom door, watching as detectives tore apart everything in sight, searching for every and any clue left behind by his abductor. She wasn't sobbing, she wasn't whaling, she wasn't falling apart - she wasn't anything. She simply stared; stared at Henry's bed as if she was waiting for him to magically reappear, waiting for someone to yell surprise, tell her that it was all just a nasty joke.

"Don't take his penguin. He'll want that when he gets home." She whispered, emotionless, to no one in particular.

"Jay-" Emily startled JJ from her thoughts. "Sorry.. I didn't mean to frighten you." JJ's calm demeanour worried the brunette beyond words. She knew, in intricate detail, just how the human brain worked, so she also knew more than most that sometimes the worse kind of turmoil is silent, and still, and eerily tranquil; very much like the creepy atmosphere that tells you, unequivocally, that a tornado is fast approaching.

Placing a comforting hand against JJ's lower back, she spoke again, softer this time so as not to shock the blonde from her seemingly comatose state. "We should let them do their work, Jay. They'll tell you if they find anything."

JJ reached behind her back and removed Emily's hand before turning for the stairs. "I should be out there looking for him."

And just as she'd predicted, Emily watched JJ's demeanour jump from calm to frantic, from numb to determined, in the blink of an eye. "JJ-"

"Don't Emily! Don't you dare treat me like a victim." The blonde flung back around as she reached the top of the stairs, an anger burning in her eyes that, if she was honest, scared Emily a little.

Emily put her hands out in front of her in a surrendering gesture. "I wouldn't dream of it, love. I was just going to say that I'm coming with you. Garcia is downstairs and she can wait for the rest of the team to get here."

The blonde didn't say a word as she turned once again down the stairs. She knew that Emily wouldn't take no for an answer, and whilst, in any other situation, she loved that about her; it annoyed the hell out her right now. But she didn't have the time to argue, she didn't have the time to fight against the protective nature that she had witnessed win out every damn time; she just didn't have time.

Reaching the bottom of the stairs, the young agent turned to grab her keys off of the table beside the staircase just as Garcia came bustling over to her.

"Sweetie.." For once the quirky technical analyst was at a loss for words. In all honesty, she didn't _have_ the right words to comfort her friend, and she was struggling herself to even grasp that her godson was simply, without reason, gone. Having children of her own wasn't, and had never been, a desire of Penelope Garcia's, but she loved that boy like he _was_ her own, like they were bound by blood rather than a piece of paper with a scrawled signature.

Garcia faded out of JJ's mind as she caught a glimpse of the rookie agent descending the stairs. "What's that?" She spoke, a cold tone to her voice as she eyed the clear evidence bag in the young man's hand.

"Oh, um, we found it in the kid's r-"

"The kid's name is Henry." JJ corrected.

"Sorry ma'am, I.." The rookie trailed off nervously. "We found it in Henry's room. It was hanging from the latch on the open window. I'm taking it in for further examination."

"Let me see that." JJ snatched the bag from the rookie without waiting for a response.

"Ma'am, that's evidence. Don't-"

The stare that JJ shot him was enough to silence him instantly.

"What's her problem?" He whispered to Emily.

"Are you serious? Did you buy your FBI badge on Ebay?" Emily whispered harshly as she shot an incredulous and angry look to the kid beside her, who was still seemingly confused.

JJ's face turned a bright shade of white as the contents of the plastic bag fully registered in her mind. She fought the urge to vomit as the reality of the situation dawned on her and a thousand locked compartments in her brain flung themselves open, their contents spilling out mercilessly like a burst dam, with no concern for the destruction that it was leaving in it's path.

Stuffing the bag into the guy's chest as she pushed passed him, the blonde spoke. "I need to find my son."

In an instinctive response, Emily began to follow, only to be stopped by the rookie agent who had now, _finally_, put the pieces together. "I'm sorry, ma'am. I.. I didn't realise she was the mother."

Emily shot an impatient look towards the front door that JJ had just left through, before sighing and turning back to the kid. "Let me tell you something. Unless you want me to inform your Chief, I suggest you get your shit together. Whether you knew she was _the mother_ or not is beside the point. She _is_ Henry's mom, but she's also a damn good agent and you are lucky to even be in the same room as her. You're here to help find her child. Do your damn job." And with that she followed JJ out into the night.

The rookie watched Emily's retreating form with a look on his face that fell somewhere between confused and terrified, before diverting his gaze over to Garcia; a somewhat 'did that just happen?' look in his eye.

"Don't look at me." Garcia shrugged. "You should learn to treat people with more respect."

She naturally sided with Emily but the implications of the brunette's words hadn't been lost on her. It was true that Emily had always had a protective nature about her, towards most people that were lucky enough to cross her path, but there was a fire in her eyes as she spoke that Garcia had never seen before. The redheaded analyst knew that in any other situation, Emily would never have lashed out at a guy that was simply learning the job, and perhaps it was down to the delicate nature of this particular situation, but she wasn't so sure. In comparison though, it really didn't matter at this moment in time, and she stored it away for later deliberation – once her boy was home safe.

**CM-CM-CM**

Out in the driveway, Emily caught up to JJ. "Sweetie, what was in that bag?"

JJ stopped in her tracks and pressed her hand to her forehead. "Emily. Leave it."

"I get it JJ. I get that you blame me for this, and that is fine. But if what was in that bag could help find Henry.." Emily faltered as JJ turned to face her, tears clouding her usually bright blue orbs. "Jen.."

Shaking her head and swallowing back the tears, JJ spoke. "I should have figured it out sooner. I'm so stupid!" The blonde flung her hands up in defeat and slumped down onto the ground, resting her arms on her knees as she leant against her car and cradled her head in her hands.

Emily knelt in front of her, instantly placing two comforting hands against JJ's own and pulling them away from her face. "Sweetie, you are not stupid. Whatever it is, we will fix it and we _will_ find Henry."

Shifting her gaze from the genuine face of her lover, the blonde fixed her eyes to the ground. "You don't understand Emily."

"I will." Emily promised.

JJ looked back up to Emily, her eyes screaming a silent question. _Will you?_ Swallowing hard, the younger agent looked down again as the sympathetic look in the brunette's eyes wrapped her in the courage that she needed to speak. "There's a ribbon in the bag. A blue one." JJ looked up at Emily, as if that one sentence was supposed to answer all of the questions swirling in the older woman's eyes.

And somehow, it did. Somehow, those simple words had lead her exactly where she was struggling to. "What happened to you, JJ?"

A conflicted look contorted JJ's usually soft features; she looked like a child who was trying intensely to make the decision between peanut butter and jelly and pizza, and at the same time, like an adult who was longing for such respite as seeing things as perfectly and untainted as a child. "I've seen a ribbon like that before, when I was ten years old. He used it to.." JJ swallowed back tears and fixed her eyes on something in the distance. Perhaps this would be easier if she didn't have to make eye contact with Emily. "He used it as a gag. He'd stuff it in my mouth and cover it with duct tape to ensure that I.. that I wouldn't make any sound that could possibly alert anyone that happened to be close by. I guess he didn't wana get caught. I wouldn't have made a sound though, even without it. Everything about him was the perfect accumulation of my nightmares and I wouldn't have dared piss him off."

Emily brushed her thumbs over JJ's knuckles as her mind raced with the blonde's admission. Her heart was breaking and she wasn't certain that she could stand to hear another word, but this wasn't about her. So instead of speaking, she let the soft gesture of her fingertips say everything that she needed to and waited for JJ to continue.

"We lived not too far from here for a short time when I was a child. Only for a month or so. We moved back to East Allegheny right after.." She took a deep breath. "He took me from my yard one day when I was playing and my mom was inside making lunch. I still remember the feel of the sun against my skin, Em. I remember that the air was filled with the scent of freshly cut grass, and I could hear my mom singing along to some Elton John song as she danced around the kitchen. I remember every detail. _Every_ detail. Before that day, my life consisted of rainbows and pony's and Barbie dolls. And after, from the moment that he crept up behind me, put his hand to my shoulder and told me not to make a sound, that my mommy would die if I did, rainbows stopped existing."

Looking up purposefully to meet Emily's gaze, JJ spoke again. "You say all the time that I'm a natural born profiler. When you're thrown into a situation where your life could depend on gauging someone's mood correctly, where you're certain that your life depends solely on you because you've been told repeatedly that no one is coming to save you, you learn a lot about the human mind."

"How long.."

"He had me for just a few days. I think his plan was to skip the country with me but he never got that far. I dread to think what his plans were after that.." JJ trailed off, a shiver visible creeping down her spine.

There was one question burning in Emily's mind and though she longed to ask it, she wasn't certain that she should. For all of the years that she'd spent as a profiler, for all of the years that she'd spent before that with Interpol, she still couldn't seem to work out if the implications of JJ's story were simply that, or if they were facts that the blonde couldn't bring herself to verbalise.

Noticing the look on Emily's face for what it was, JJ answered her unspoken question. "He didn't.. ya know." The relief that washed over Emily was more than visible to JJ, and for a moment she was grateful; grateful that she was able to provide that relief with honestly, rather than because she couldn't bring herself to confirm Emily's fears. "He didn't get the chance to. He spent most of his time arguing with someone but I never met this person. And then one day the arguments stopped. He came into the room, and even though the sudden light was blinding me, I could see the anger on his face clearly. I assumed that he'd killed the guy and that he was about to kill me too. But he just stared at me. Just stared. We kept our eyes locked like that forever. Well.. huh.. every amount of time not spent playing seems like forever to a kid." JJ laughed humourlessly, before flicking her once again serious eyes back to the distant object that she had mentally clung to just moments before. "It was like a battle of wills. A test. Or something. I'm not really sure what he was waiting for, but before I knew it he.." She swallowed again. "He was coming towards me, unzipping his pants as he did. And that's when the police turned up. Almost out of nowhere. Like knights in.. navy blue."

"Jay.." Both relief and pain washed through Emily. It was brilliantly overwhelming to know that the guy hadn't managed to do anything to JJ, but the fact that that wasn't altogether true still cut excruciatingly through her mind. He hadn't taken her innocence, but he had. He hadn't taken her childhood, but he had. He hadn't taken her life, but in many ways, he had.

"It's okay, really it is. I dealt with this a very long time ago. I had to, if I wanted to live my life. And I really thought I'd put it behind me.." JJ trailed off as Henry came to the forefront of her mind once more.

"Sweetie, look at me." Emily cradled JJ's face with her hands. "We are going to find him. I promise you that right now. Whatever it takes. Okay?" She knew better than to make promise in this field of work; but she also knew that there was absolutely nothing that she wouldn't do to bring Henry home, and more than that – JJ needed the hope that she herself was struggling to keep a hold of.

Entwining her hand in Emily's, JJ responded with as much of a smile as she could force right now.

Seeing the still present uncertainty in JJ's eyes for what it was, Emily rose to her feet and held out a hand for the blonde to take just as the rest of the team pulled into the drive way. "You're gona have to tell them, Jayje.."

JJ simply sighed. "I know.."


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's Note:** Sorry for the little delay in updating - I took a mini-vacation with my in-laws and got back yesterday evening. Suffice to say that after spending two days running around a water park and riding the go-karts with my niece and nephew, I was a little tired. So much fun though! And, you get a slightly longer chapter than I intended for your patience. :)

**Author's Note 2:** I also realise that JJ is now a profiler, but for the sake of this story she isn't. That is all. Enjoy!

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**_Chapter Three;_ Handcuffed For Your Safety**

**_10 hours since Henry's abduction;_**

Her boots thumped against the cold, hard floor as she strode purposefully down the long, echoing hall. Men whistled and heckled like animals in heat from the cages surrounding her, but they may as well have not existed. There was one person that she was here to see, and one person only.

"He's handcuffed for your safety." The guard spoke as he unlocked the gate to the next section of the prison.

She raised an eyebrow but kept her eyes straight ahead. "If he doesn't give me the answers I need, it will be _me_ that needs to be handcuffed for _his_ safety."

Purposely choosing to ignore her comment, the guard pushed open the gate and stepped aside, allowing Emily to enter into the large area that they had cordoned off for interviews and special visits such as this one; before locking it again behind the brunette and stepping aside, arms crossed against his stomach.

Emily slammed the newspaper down on the table in front of the shackled man. There was no hesitance; the last thing that she wanted was to begin this game at a place where he already had the upper hand. "Who is he?"

Ironically, the media had caught wind of the situation and felt that the story of the kidnapping of the BAU's Press Liaison's son making front page would be undoubtedly helpful - to their wallets. BAU KIDNAPPING was written across the top of the newspaper in arrogantly large font and below it was a photograph of JJ and Henry. It had pissed Emily off beyond belief to know that despite the teams urges to the media to keep this out of the public eye, it had still wound up on the front page of a major tabloid, and she didn't even want to know how they'd managed to get a photo of the two. But right now, she was more pissed off by the yellow-toothed grin of Percy Watson as his eyes fell upon the folded newspaper.

"Looks like Miss Jareau's son to me missy." He spoke mockingly. "But shouldn't yer know that since yer screwing her?"

Admittedly, a little part of her grew instantly nervous at his words – being discreet about their relationship was still an issue, even if it did pale majorly in comparison to the other issue at hand – but she didn't falter one bit. She didn't know how he knew that, she didn't even know how he knew that she existed since she had had absolutely nothing to do with his conviction, but she was extremely good at her job and there had never been a more important time to show that. "How long have you been in here?"

"Heh.. yer don't look like the type to have got yer job by fuckin' the boss. So I'm sure yer can do the math." He leaned back in his seat, a kind of proudness playing across his aged features. "She was 10 when me n 'er spent time together n she's 32 now. It took 'em three days or so to catch me, but I don't think yer care to know the details. Unless yer do of course.. Perhaps we can swap stories."

It was clear that this repulsive excuse for a human-being had held JJ as a very fond memory to keep him warm over the years. But whilst that provoked in Emily an anger that she had never felt before – one that spread from the wriggling eyebrows and the sickening suggestion itself , to a red mist in behind dark eyes and a tight, vomit-inducing knot in the pit of her stomach - it also told her that he had to know something. Anything. If he'd kept a close enough eye on JJ, even now, to know that her and the blonde were in some kind of a relationship, it was very improbable that he knew nothing of Henry's kidnapping. "22 years is a long time."

"It's more like 21 years, 9 months and 27 days, but who's countin'." Percy smiled again, his whole demeanour screaming his nonchalance and arrogance.

The brunette laughed humourlessly, nodding her head, almost as though she was amused at some kind of joke that only she knew the punch line to – and the confusion that, just for a moment, marred the guy's aged face reminded her that she really was great at her job.

"I hear you're supposed to get moved next week?" She pulled a piece of paper from her pocket and read as she spoke. "To a more _comfortable_ prison in Arizona to live out your final days." The guy was pushing 60, but death couldn't come soon enough as far as she was concerned. Lifting her eyes from the crumbled piece of paper and stuffing it back into her pocket, she took a seat in front of him – her own demeanour carrying as much arrogance and composure as his. Inside she was a grenade without it's pin, ready to blow at any second, but on the surface she was exactly what she needed to be; calm, collected, and one step ahead of any game that he could even imagine playing.

If one thing was ever true about Emily Prentiss, it was that it took a lot for her to wholeheartedly care about another person – she had had enough reminders in her life to show that people go as easily as they come - but the few people that she did allow into her heart, she was fiercely protective of. To cause any pain or disservice to anyone that she cared for was to cross Emily – and that could quite possibly be the worst move that anyone could ever make. In those situations, when she needed to protect, 'any means necessary' was the only phrase in her vocabulary, and that had never rung more true than in this instant – but she'd play tame at first, if only to shake him a little. "It'd be a shame if anything were to happen to that transfer."

Laughing and leaning forward to place his cuffed hands on the table before him, he responded. "Yer can't do that." He shrugged. "I haven't done nuffin' wrong. I've been locked in here for 22 years remember." He waved his shackled hands in Emily's face to make his point, and it was all she could do to not strangle him with them.

"The funny thing about scum like you, is that protocol doesn't care. It doesn't _matter_ if you've done anything wrong. All it takes is a few connections and you're back in general population for the rest of your natural life. With none of the safety and protection that you get from being in solitary confinement so I'd imagine that natural life wouldn't last too long." Her eyes twinkled like she was the queen of the damn world and her lips pulled into a subtle smirk as she mocked him with her words, waving her power in front of him like a red flag to a bull. "I know plenty of people who would be willing to make life as difficult as possible for a pervert like you. Do you understand me?"

Percy looked over at the two guards in the room - the one who had escorted Emily and the one who had come in with him – as though trying to make a point.

Leaning forward in her seat, Emily spoke again. "Oh, you think they care about what happens to you? I assure you that they don't. The guards don't care, the warden doesn't care, and the only reason that they haven't torn you apart themselves yet is because they're better people than I am."

"That yer plan? To threaten me?" The old man snorted. "Lady I don't 'ave many years left, I couldn't give a crap what yer do to me. Hell, it's been a while since I've been close to a woman." He shifted in his seat, wriggling his eyebrows at Emily as he called over to one of the guards. "Eh I think she wants me. What say yer get us one o' those conjugal rooms!"

Watson clearly felt that he was untouchable and he had no issue in showing her as much. But if her job had taught her anything, it was that no one is untouchable; no one. Everyone has their weakness and their price and she just needed to find his. "I think you're misunderstanding me Watson. Let me tell you something about convicts. You may think that you're all a band of brothers, you guys against the law, but the part you're neglecting to remember is that even cons have morals. Stealing a TV or even getting caught up in a gang and murdering someone is one thing, but to them, hurting a child or a woman is another. That is a line that you do not cross and once they realise that you've crossed it.. Well, let's you just say it won't take long for you to get a taste of your own medicine."

Emily could see that she had made an impact on Percy, it was evident in the scoff that left his lips as she spoke, but she also knew that it wasn't going to be enough - JJ was far too important to him to give up information on what could simply be an empty threat. She needed to show him that she meant business. Pulling the crumpled piece of paper from her pocket once again and a pen from her jacket, Emily flipped it over and wrote; purposely leaving Percy an open view of what she was writing. After scrawling a note to the warden - a note in which she explicitly made her request for Percy's transfer to general population - she called over one of the guards, a smile playing on her lips as she handed him the note and watched him leave the room. She knew that it would be declined instantly - there was no way that they would feed Watson to the lions - but all she needed was to convince the man before her that it was going to happen, and she wasn't disappointed as she turned and caught the well-hidden glimmer of fear flicker across his face.

"Yer bluffing." He wasn't sure that he believed the words himself, but he had done enough police interviews to know that whilst 99% of it is all a bluff, you never really can tell which 1% isn't. He also knew, however, that giving in was not going to get him anywhere and opted to keep up his own facade. He spoke again whilst eying the paper in front of him. "But maybe if yer tell me a little about this boy o' hers I might remember something that could be useful to yer."

"Not a chance." Emily took the newspaper from the table and put it on the seat beside her and out of his sight, instantly scolding herself as she realised that she had likely broken rule number one of interrogation: _Don't show weakness_.

Nevertheless, she was certain that she had gotten to him with her previous threat, but she couldn't leave anything to chance - she needed to use every weapon in her arsenal. Besides, once he realised that she was in fact bluffing, she could risk having the upper hand for good.

Garcia had filled her in on everything that her cyber skills was able to find on one Percy Watson, and as she sat planning her next move, Emily's mind filtered through piece after piece of pointless and yet entirely significant information. _58 years old, grew up in a single parent family in Ohio after his mother got pregnant at 15 by a man almost twice her age, left home when he was 15 himself, never had children as far as his files are aware but after the conviction that left him here, it emerged that he had kidnapped and killed 17 boys and girls between 1970 and 1991. _And there is was; _Why would he want to be transferred to Arizona, over 2000 miles away from the only family he knows?_

"Does your mother ever visit you here?" The small, very well hidden, flicker of pain that played across his face showed Emily that she was definitely on the right track. "You mean she doesn't know what her little boy grew up to be?"

"Heh. That bitch would be proud." His words said one thing but his body language showed another and in that instant, Emily knew for certain that she had something solid on him.

"She'll be, what? 73 now? With her heart condition, she can't have very long left." The brunette agent grabbed the newspaper from the chair and rose to her feet. "It'd be a shame if she had to hear about the monster that her son turned into while she has so little time left on this planet." Emily turned to leave and shouted over her should. "I'd think about that while I'm gone."

**CM-CM-CM**

Out in the parking lot, Emily pulled her phone from her pocket as she made her way back to her car. No part of her wanted to make this call and admit that, essentially, she had failed JJ, but she was one step away from making another kind of call – one that would be answered by a snooty secretary who informs her that her mother is busy; one that is spent mostly admitting that '_yes mother, you're right, I never was able to figure anything out for myself_'; the one that would probably not even solve this problem anyway, and would in all likelihood simply wind up with Percy beat to death in general population whilst any knowledge of Henry's whereabouts dies with him.

So, for right now, she chose what seemed to be the lesser of two evils.

"Hotch, he isn't talking. But I'm _certain_ he knows something. He has to. I left him with something to think about while I'm gone and I'm expecting his call before the day is out." The dark-haired agent rubbed her temples as Hotch responded. "I know we don't have much time but until we have something else, his mother is the only thing we can hold over him. I'm pretty sure he knows as well as I do that the warden won't move him into general population, and he actually seemed a little excited by the thought of me causing him physical pain."

Juggling the newspaper, her phone and her keys, Emily fumbled to get into her car, and thankfully Hotch decided he was done talking. "Yep, okay. I'm gona check on JJ and then I'll be in the office. She'll string me up if I don't tell her what happened during my meeting with Watson. Okay. Bye."

Ending the call, Emily finally breathed. The first real breath that she'd taken since she had heard JJ utter those three not-so sought after words last night; since she'd taken responsibility for fixing the situation that was suddenly bestowed upon the younger woman; since the rookie agent had unknowingly uncovered the force strong enough to throw the blonde back into the past.

She had listened in detail as JJ described what had happened to her when she was ten years old, twice over, in fact, as the blonde relived it once more to the rest of the team; and she had wished more than anything, as she watched this brave woman that she grew to respect more and more each day repeat her story once again, that she could tell it for her, that she could hit stop and end this instant replay that the younger agent had no choice but to endure. She had sat right beside her as the team gathered up enough information from JJ's story to create a profile, and she hadn't cared one bit about the hand that naturally found it's way to rest on JJ's thigh in a reassuring manner, or the comforting glances that she had thrown her when she could see that she blatantly needed the encouragement. Even in a room full of profilers, the elite of reading body language - she did not care. Strauss could fire her tomorrow if she wanted; there was nothing and no one that was going to stop her taking care of JJ when it mattered the most, and that still rang true in this second - even after she'd spent the past thirty minutes with Watson, a man who could cost her her job and possibly her freedom in an instant just by looking at her the wrong way. The guy was treading on thin ice, and in turn, so was Emily, but none of it mattered. She was more than willing to destroy everything important to this guy, and everything that she'd built for herself even, as long as it meant that she could reunite mother with son.

As long as it meant that she could _fix_ this.

Turning her key into the ignition, Emily took one final, long breath and put her foot down as she sped out of the parking lot.

She had to find Henry, before it was too late.

**CM-CM-CM**

"JJ?" Emily knocked before letting herself into the house after almost a minute of no one answering. She looked around the living room that came directly out from the front door, expecting to see Garcia, JJ, anyone, but there was no one around. She called again. "Jennifer?"

"I'm up here." The melancholy voice was faint, but Emily knew exactly where 'up here' was and she headed directly to Henry's bedroom.

As she reached Henry's door, she poked her head inside to see JJ sat on his bed, the boy's stuffed penguin in her hands. "Hey, love. I thought Garcia was staying with you while I went to the prison?"

"She was. I made her leave." JJ answered vacantly without lifting her eyes from the toy in her lap.

Emily's face fell somewhere between amazed and frustrated - amazed because she had no clue how the blonde had managed to get Garcia to leave, and frustrated because she had. She was more than afraid to leave JJ alone after the events of the past 10 hours, but however much she wanted to be, she really couldn't be everywhere at once. "JJ.. you shouldn't be alone."

"I'm not. There's a police car parked out front. I don't need a babysitter too, Emily." JJ replied with a similar eerie calm to her voice that had been there the night previous.

"I know you don't. I just worry. Probably too much. But it's only because-"

"Well don't." She made eye contact with Emily for the first time, her tone as cold as it was just last night when she had snapped at the rookie.

A fantastic profiler she was, but all the training in the world couldn't have prepared her for this situation. You can read every text book you can get your hands on, but all rules and laws and logic disappear as soon as the heart is involved. And as she witnessed the rapid change in JJ's demeanour once again, felt the cold that was now directed solely at her, she had no idea what move to make next. But she knew above anything else that JJ was hurting and that she had to say something. "JJ, we're gona find him."

"So you keep saying." The blonde's jaw locked, an accusatory anger evident on her face that seemed wholly directed at Emily.

The brunette hadn't expected JJ to suddenly be all smiles, but she hadn't expected that response either. "JJ-"

"It is your fault he's gone, Emily!" JJ was on her feet now. "My son was taken while I was too busy fucking someone who had no business even being here! You should never have come over." Even through her pain-filled haze, the blonde knew that she was being unnecessarily cruel towards the older agent, but she was flailing and every life line that she found seemed to abandon her.

If she was honest, the latter part of JJ's statement had cut like a knife, but as soon as the pain entered her mind it was replaced instantly by a different kind of pain as she watched silent tears fall from the blonde's eyes. All she wanted to do was wrap JJ up in her arms and tell her that everything was going to be just fine, that they would find Henry and justice would be served. But she couldn't say that, not to JJ, not again. JJ wasn't just another parent who had lost their child, just another victim of a senseless crime; she was, quite simply, JJ – and any textbook lines that she could feed her to keep her placated until they had a useful lead, just wouldn't work. She opened her mouth to speak but the blonde beat her to it.

"He must have been so afraid and I wasn't there Emily." The younger woman's eyes fell to the ground as she spoke. She knew that there were no shades of grey here, no understandable sense of reasoning – she quite simply wasn't there when her son needed her.

"JJ you can't do that." Emily placed a comforting hand against the younger agent's shoulder. "You are a great mother and you are no way to blame in this." Even as she spoke the words, she couldn't bring herself to say the same about herself. It wasn't like she hadn't thought of it before now, but JJ verbalising it simply made it painfully clearer – if she hadn't come over, something that they'd both decided probably wasn't best, then perhaps JJ would have heard something. But blaming herself wasn't going to find their unsub, and it certainly wasn't going to bring Henry home. "Stop beating yourself up, okay? You didn't do this."

"I chose an orgasm over my son! I'm not exactly mother of the damn year." JJ pushed the brunette's hand away, folded her arms across her chest and walked to other side of the room, so that she was now stood where Emily was just moments before.

A small part of Emily was getting frustrated now. She was a good person, and she wasn't unreasonable, but she was also human. "JJ you need to stop." She was trying her best to keep her frustration out of her words, but she wasn't sure that she succeeded. "It wasn't like that at all and you _know_ it."

"Wasn't it? Are you sure about that?" Her arms dropped by her side as she stepped a little closer to Emily; guilt pouring from every word of her confession. "He _told_ me Emily. He told me there was someone there and I was more interested in getting him into bed and talking to you. So I ignored him. I just ignored him!"

Emily's brow furrowed. "Wait.. What? What do you mean he told you?"

Sighing – missing the point in her grief-ridden haze - JJ replied. "Before I tucked him into bed, he was staring out of his bedroom window and said something about playing on his swing. I thought nothing of it and told him that he could tomorrow. Even when he told me '_You should tell him to put a jacket on so he doesn't get the sniffles'_.." JJ laughed humourlessly at the hauntingly clear memory of her son's words, before trying to collect her thoughts again and making eye contact with the older woman. "All I did was look out the window. He all but told me that there was someone on his tyre swing, and I did _nothing_ to protect him."

"JJ." Emily braced her hands at the younger woman's upper arms. "Did anyone check the swing? For prints? Fibres? Anything?"

JJ's face flushed white. She knew Emily hadn't intended to make her feel worse, but she somehow she had managed it. _How the hell did I not think to mention that?_ "Uh.. no.. I guess.."

Emily pulled out her phone immediately and dialled. "Hey Hotch. We're gona need someone here to dust for fingerprints and-" The brunette was cut off by Hotch; she was beginning to grow really tired of not being able to finish a sentence. "Yes. I know they already did. But they didn't check Henry's swing." Her words were probably more stern than necessary, especially considering that she was speaking with her boss, but she was tired, and nervous, and uncertain, and concerned, and stepping on eggshells around JJ – however necessary that was – was exhausting. "We have reason to believe that the unsub was sitting on it before taking Henry."


	4. Chapter 4

******Author's Note:** I can't quite put my finger on why, but I'm not hugely fond of this chapter. I guess because I'm so excited about the next chapter lol. But, it was annoyingly necessary so that you guys know what's going on. ;)

* * *

**_Chapter Four; _The Results Are In**

A forensics team had arrived at the house within 15 minutes, and within a further hour, the whole team were back at the BAU anxiously awaiting the results. Considering that they'd found nothing from their first sweep of the house – even the ribbon from the window latch was print free - all of their hopes were placed solely on this sudden revelation.

So far they had found that the tyre swing was covered with fingerprints; mostly JJ's and Henry's, some belonged to other members of the team, and then one other partial fingerprint that was currently being run through the system. It was a long shot given the abundance of people that had likely come into contact with that tyre long before it was used for other means, and JJ knew it, but she had to hold onto the hope that it would lead them directly to her son.

"Here ya go, gumdrop." Garcia placed an FBI coffee mug on the table for JJ, hoping that the blonde woman would stop pacing for a second to take a drink. She looked like she hadn't slept in weeks, and whilst coffee wasn't going to fix that, she still needed something in her system - Garcia was fully aware before she even asked that the young agent wouldn't eat anything. Perching herself on a chair, the redhead spoke again as she waited for JJ to slow her nervous pace. "Sweetie, I know you've not seen him properly in years.. but did they rule out Will?"

Finally stopping and taking a seat opposite Garcia, the blonde spoke. "He's not been in the country for the past three weeks. Visiting someone in England. I didn't ask for details.."

"Good. I mean, good that it isn't him." The redhead never enjoyed any conversation with JJ where Will was involved - partly because she couldn't forgive him for abandoning the mother of his child _and_ his child, but mostly because she knew what it did to the blonde to even hear his name.

A thick tension fell upon the room, and Garcia was surprised to hear JJ speak again. "I think a part of me would feel better if there was a possibility that it was him, ya know.." Some form of guilt washed through JJ as she contemplated her rationale for such a backward statement. "If it was him.. I think I'd feel a little better about Henry's safety. And.."

"I know sweetie. There's a possibility that it would also mean he had changed his mind about wanting to be a part of Henry's life." Garcia spoke understandingly. It really was a little backwards, but she got it.

JJ simply nodded in response as she cradled her coffee mug in her hands, her eyes widening suddenly as she realised fully what she'd said. "Does that make me a horrible person?"

"No sugarplum, not at all. It's natural for you to want to find some semblance of comfort in this situation, and it's also natural for you to want Henry to have his dad in his life." As much as Garcia disliked Will, she had to admit that every child deserved the chance to grow up with two parents. As she thought this though, the fire that she'd seen in Emily's eyes the night previous came to mind. "Perhaps now isn't the time but-"

"Um.. The results are back." Emily announced her presence when she felt that she was beginning to hear too much. She understood that JJ would want Henry to have his father in his life - a big part of her wanted that for him too - but she wasn't sure if JJ wanted Will to be around for Henry, or for both of them. It was forever at the back of her mind that their break-up hadn't been JJ's choosing, and more often than not she did find herself wondering what would happen if Will came back tomorrow. But true to form, the brunette put things immediately into perspective of what was of importance right now, compartmentalised the rest, and she pretended that she hadn't heard a thing as she walked over to a now standing JJ and handed her the file. "I thought you should see it before anyone else."

If it had crossed her mind that Emily may have overheard something, it wasn't showing. There was only one thing on JJ's mind right now, and her heart sat in her throat as she opened the folder containing the results. "Our unsub is a _woman_?"

The shock was clearly evident on the blonde's face. It wasn't that she didn't think a woman could do such a thing – her line of work had showed her that _anyone_, male or female, was capable of _anything_ – but at the same time it was _exactly_ that. There's a certain maternal instinct that comes naturally to most women and she just couldn't imagine another woman putting her through this, let alone wanting to damage a child, whether mentally or physically.

Her eyes scanned over the photograph as the news sunk in, and she was surprised to find that a part of her – a very small part, but a part none the less – felt some kind of reassurance in this new nugget of information. It also became abundantly clear to her how her son's innocent eyes had thought that it was a man in the yard last night. The woman on the page in front of her looked nothing like a woman; the almost painfully aged features that were simply foreign against the middle aged woman's face left her looking somewhat rugged, and the short choppy hair that she donned and clearly hadn't had the wherewithal to brush in years didn't help either. And another part of JJ – much smaller than the one that took comfort from the picture – now felt a slight pang of guilt. She felt genuinely bad for the woman, though she had no definitive reason as to why that was.

"Yeah, kinda makes sense now why the footprints we found in the snow seemed a little small for a guy. There's more though JJ. Look at the name." Emily pointed to the details just below the picture.

"Janette Watson." JJ's almost monotone voice suddenly shifted an octave as she realised.. "_Watson_?"

By now the rest of the team had filtered into the room, having heard that the results were back. Any other case just seemed to pale in comparison right now as all of their wildly intelligent brains focused themselves on one blonde little boy. They'd each spent the morning on some kind of autopilot and this, this new piece of information, this possible lead, left them more alert than they'd felt all day.

Emily nodded and spoke to bring JJ and the rest of the team up to date with her findings. "Turns out Percy Watson has a maternal sister. I'm not certain if he even knows about her but he must. I'm willing to bet that he's the very reason her fingerprint turned up. She doesn't have many priors, mostly speeding charges and one DUI but she never showed up to her court date."

"Do we have an address for her?" Hotch asked Emily.

"We have one address, but it's twenty years old. Chances are that she doesn't live there anymore." Emily replied, shaking her head. "Besides, if she did, chances are she would've already been picked up for the DUI and missed court date and she never was."

"Morgan and Reid, go check it out. Emily I want you to go back to the prison. See if the information we have on his sister is enough to make him talk. Garcia, try to find a more recent address for Janette in case the one we have is a dead end, and call the prison warden. I want phone records and CCTV footage of _any_ visitors Percy may have had. Rossi and I will stay here with JJ and see if we can find anything that we might have missed."

"I'm going with them." JJ spoke sternly.

"JJ, you know I can't let you do that." Hotch replied, an untypical softness to his voice.

"I have to do something, Hotch. I am not staying here while my son is out there. I'm so sick of sitting around doing nothing."

"Jayje, if he's there, we will find him. I promise." Morgan threw JJ his best big brother look as he and Reid left the room.

JJ ran her fingers through her long hair; her last lifeline disappearing as Emily too left the room, en route to the prison. "Hotch please. Please. I need to do something."

"My hands are tied, JJ. You're too attached to the case. I can't trust your judgement out in the field, you know that. I'm sorry." It hurt Hotch to have to say no to JJ, knowing himself how he'd feel if someone had taken Jack, and he left the room purposely before she had too much time protest, Rossi in tow. He wasn't sure he could continue to tell her no when he wanted nothing more than to allow her to go out there and get her boy back. But it wouldn't end well, for either of them.

"Sweetie, we're gona find him. I know everyone keeps saying that but only because it's true." Garcia pulled out a laptop and set to work next to JJ. It wasn't the conditions that she was used to working under and she would much rather have been in her office with multiple screens and the fastest computers possibly known to man, but JJ wasn't there. JJ was here, and so this is where she would stay.

Tears glazed over the blonde's eyes as she folded her arms across her chest in defeat. She wondered briefly what she ever did so bad to deserve living this nightmare for a second time, but she knew more than most that bad things happen to good people for no real reason.

**CM-CM-CM**

"Yes I understand that sir but-" Garcia spoke into the phone, growing increasingly frustrated with the warden at the end of the line who was clearly too worried about his own job to allow her access to the tapes and phone records. It was beyond her nature to speak out of turn, especially to someone of authority, but as he told her no once again, she lost her natural Garcia cool. "No, you listen to me! There is a child involved. If you do not allow me access to those records, I am going to hack into your system and get them myself. And just because you've chosen to be such an a-hole about it, I may have to leave behind a hard drive wiping virus too. Am I understood?" The redhead's face flushed a shade of pink that rivalled her lipstick as realisation of what she had just said dawned on her, but she breathed a sigh of relief as she got the response that she had been hoping for. "Thank you sir, thank you so much. Yes.. I promise not to leave you a virus. Thank you."

Turning to JJ and noticing the defeated and distant look on her face, Garcia spoke again. "Honey, he's granted us access. We should have the files shortly and believe me, we are going to find our boy. We're all doing our best." The technical analyst paused for a second, contemplating whether her next sentence was a good idea. "Especially Emily.."

JJ's eyes shot open. "What is that supposed to mean?"

"Oh sweetie, nothing bad. She's just very protective of you that's all. She clearly cares a lot about you." She paused purposely, JJ's silence confirming everything that she'd thought the previous night and she decided to poke the bear a little more. "You could do a hell of a lot worse."

"I know.." JJ nodded her head slowly as she thought about all Emily had done since Henry's abduction – and done easily without a second thought – her eyes closing regretfully as she suddenly remembered the conversation that they had both shared a couple of hours previous. "I blamed her for this, ya know.. I told her that it was her fault, that if she had been thinking with her head instead of her pants then Henry would still be here." JJ watched confusion wash over Garcia's face and shook her own head as she elaborated. "She came over. We were, um.. yeah, when Henry was taken."

Garcia's mind was throwing a silent party - she couldn't think of another person better suited to JJ than Emily, and if she was honest, her gaydar had always panged for the blonde, even if the blonde herself hadn't openly admitted it - but the regret gracing her friend's face pulled her back to reality. "Oh honey. Emily is a pretty together woman. She knows that you're hurting right now and you know as well as I do that she isn't going to hold anything against you." The redhead spoke truthfully – if the passion that she'd seen in Emily's eyes was anything to go by, she knew for certain that JJ had nothing at all to worry about in that regard.

With a sigh, JJ responded. "I know. That's why I feel so damn guilty."

"Look, put it to the back of your mind for now, gumdrop. She's still gona be here when Henry is home and you can make amends then. And.. you can fill me in on all of the details then too! Don't think I'm gona forget that you neglected to share with me." Garcia winked, pulling a small and very welcome glimmer of a smile that she had hoped for from the blonde's lips, before a beep from her laptop indicated that they'd received the files that she'd requested. "Moment of truth, my lovely.."

**CM-CM-CM**

"There's no one here. The place looks lived in but there's definitely no one home." Morgan spoke with a sigh over the speaker of Hotch's phone. The Unit Chief had brought the phone through to the conference room as soon as he had gotten the call, and now both of them were wishing that he hadn't.

"And I got nothing either. It seems she lived there the majority of her adult life.. To be honest, aside from that, it's almost like this woman lived in a cave. There's basically nothing on her." Garcia spoke regretfully, though wholly curious how someone could be so damn elusive against even her skills.

"Come back here, Morgan. Emily is with Watson right now, maybe she can coax some more information out of him." Hotch ordered.

Sighing, a both mentally and physically exhausted JJ flopped back on the seat in front of her. She had never felt more helpless than in this moment. She wanted to be out there, searching, kicking down every damn door that she came across until she found her boy, and she would be if she thought for a second that any one of the people in the room would let her. The truth, and one that she was struggling to face, was that there _was_ nothing that she could be doing. She'd given the team every little piece of information that she could remember about Percy Watson and that was her part done. For the first time since Henry was taken, she wasn't Jennifer Jaraeu, Press Liaison for the BAU - she was Jennifer Jareau, mother; _victim_. She'd tried desperately to pretend that she wasn't, that this was any other case. But it wasn't any other case, and she couldn't look at this with the clarity and logic that she typically possessed. She'd never thought that life on the other side of the mirror was peachy by any means, but every reason that she had ever had for choosing to fight crime as a career was redefined for her in that one single moment.

**CM-CM-CM**

Emily stormed into the prison with a ruthless determination. She was done playing mind games with this guy. "Your sister," slamming the photograph down on the table much like she had that morning with the newspaper, She continued, "where is she?"

Shrugging his shoulders mockingly, nonchalance and a smug grin still playing across his features, the man replied. "I don't 'ave a sister."

Emily shook her head and locked her jaw – she could tell that this man was slowly getting the better of her, but she hadn't been blind to the concern that had flickered briefly across Percy's face at the mention of his sister. "Oh but you do." Taking a seat, Emily tossed the rest of the file onto the table in front of Percy and watched as a glimmer of anger accompanied his concern. "We found her fingerprint."

The old man glanced over the file and tossed it back to the table nonchalantly before speaking again, a taunting smirk playing on his lips. "Maybe yer right. Maybe yer not. I seem to be comin' over with a little memory loss. Maybe the Alzheimer's is settin' in." Noticing the frustration in Emily's eyes, he couldn't resist the urge to push a little more. "But I might feel more like remembering somethin' if blondie herself pays me a visit."

His eyebrows wiggled as he thought about the prospect of seeing JJ again, and Emily's reply was instant. "You're not getting within five feet of her."

"Oh-ooo.. It seems she's got 'erself a little body guard in you." His eyes narrowed and he leaned forward as he continued in a whisper. "Tell me, is she as sweet as I remember?"

Somehow she managed to keep her cool as this guy blatantly pushed her buttons, but she couldn't shake the reality that was niggling at the back of her mind. As much as she hated to even think it, or to give this man the satisfaction of getting exactly what he wanted, the obvious means to get anything out of Percy Watson was staring her in the face. She couldn't even comprehend putting JJ in that situation, but would the end justify the means if it meant that the blonde didn't have to be in the situation as a whole anymore? That made sense.. right?

Every other option ran through Emily's mind in quick succession – she had played whatever character necessary throughout her career, and she could do the same now too – but she knew that no matter what part she played, it was a waste of precious time. She wasn't the person that Percy wanted to see, and no amount of acting was going to change that.

Rising from her seat, Emily reluctantly made a call.

**CM-CM-CM**

Back in the conference room, Hotch answered his phone, purposely not putting it on speaker this time. "Hotch." He answered in his habitual manner, and as soon as Emily ran the idea past him, his response was as instant as hers had been. "She isn't doing it."

"Hey, got anything new?" Reid spoke up as he and Morgan entered the room, earning a loud 'shhh' as JJ tried in vain to listen to the call.

"No, it's not happening. We'll have to find another way." Hotch continued. "Garcia got permission from the prison to check his phone records. She has them right now. If he does know he has a sister and she is the one who abducted Henry, he must have made regular calls to her, she must have visited regularly. He isn't going to miss an opportunity to hear the details. Uh.. Just a second Prentiss."

Hotch looked across to Garcia as she shook her head, indicating that they'd met another dead end before she elaborated. "He calls the same number every single day at the same time, but I can't get a location for it because it isn't in use. And we have footage of Janette entering and leaving the prison, but that doesn't really help us since we already know what she looks like."

"That's not altogether true, baby girl." Morgan spoke up. "We know for certain now that Watson is aware of his sister. Which must mean that he either knows where she lives or where she's keeping the little guy. Coincidences like that don't just happen."

"And now he knows we know about her he's bound to call her the first chance he gets. He won't be able to resist." Reid chipped in, Morgan nodding as boy wonder finished his sentence for him.

"You hear that Emily? Leave now the room now and don't say anything to him. The abruptness of your departure will hopefully startle him enough to make a call."

"What did she need?" JJ questioned immediately as Hotch ended the call, already knowing the answer. If she were to be logical, she'd know that his instant declination was a result of how much he cared about her, but a part of her was still angry that she wasn't even asked. He wasn't her father, and he should have realised that she would do anything to get her son back, even if that meant literally revisiting a memory that she would rather forget.

"Nothing. Garcia we need to tap the prison phone line right now. I wana hear that call. If Morgan and Reid are right, he will call Janette as soon as Emily leaves and hopefully they'll talk for long enough for you to get a location on her."

"Yes sir." Garcia agreed, immediately getting to work.

**CM-CM-CM**

The team held their breath collectively as fifteen minutes later, their theory rang true through a small speaker in the centre of the table.

"_How could yer be so stupid woman?" Percy spat into the phone. "Yer dumb bitch, yer left a fingerprint!"_

Garcia tapped away at her laptop, trying desperately to find the coordinates for the location of the phone. It was indeterminable how long the call would last and every second counted. The knew that, realistically, they were clutching at straws, and if Percy hung up before she got the location they basically had nothing. Even though he had as good as admitted to knowing about Henry's abduction, it didn't matter. He was already facing the rest of his life in jail – he had absolutely no reason to lead them to the boy.

"_I'm sorry, Percy. Are you angry? Please don't be angry. I did as you asked." Janette responded._

Reid stood with his thumb nail between his teeth, staring intently at the small speaker as if every word of the conversation was being written directly onto his brain. If there was some way out of this mess, something they could use against Watson, his ever logical brain would find it. The young agent had never considered having children – passing his mother's genes on was not something that he wanted to risk – but ever since Will had ditched JJ, he had seen Henry as a son rather than simply a godson. They all had.

"_Yeah n thanks to you the feds know who yer are. That boy is my ticket out o' 'ere. Don't yer want me to get outta 'ere?"_

Hotch kept up his usual stoic form, but inside his mind was racing with thoughts of his own son. Every word to leave Percy's lips left him more determined to bring him down, to ensure that this story was one of the few that had a happy ending. And Rossi let his eyes fall for a minute to JJ, the paternal nature in him shining through as he fought the urge to go to the prison himself and beat the information out of Watson.

"_Oh of course I do Percy. Of course I do. I'm sorry. I will do better, I promise." The woman desperately pled her case._

Morgan shook his head as he listened to the call, his mind stuck somewhere between anger and frustration, and determination. How could one scumbag have such a hold over them? He knew that they would blow their chances completely if Percy caught wind of the fact that they'd heard the phone call, that the pervert could have Henry 'disposed' of at any second and there would be nothing that they could do about it. But that wasn't how it was supposed to be. They were the good guys, they were collectively and independently some of the most intelligent people in the world and yet they were _losing_.

'_Good. Then yer need to go to the place I told yer about. Yer remember the place?" Percy's voice was softer now, yet eerily more sinister._

Emily sat perched on the edge of her chair as she listened through the phone, an anger that she'd never felt before burning through her skin. An anger that they were all feeling, but for Emily it was different. She was right there, in the very same building as the guy who knew _exactly_ where Henry was, and there wasn't a damn thing she could do about it.

"_Yes I remember. The-"_

"_Don't say the name yer stupid woman. Just go. I will call yer again tomorrow at the same time." And with that, the call ended._

And then there was JJ. Until that moment, it had been twenty two years since she had heard Percy Watson's voice, but it chilled her to the bone just as it had when she was ten, just as it had for years after every time that he entered her nightmares, just as it had every time that they'd caught a guy just like him. Suddenly she was back there, back to that day in August twenty two years ago. She could smell, taste, feel, and hear every little detail of the space around her. For a moment she was numb, and then as Henry flashed to the forefront of her mind, she came back to Earth with body-wracking thud. What she had endured she would never wish on anybody, and yet it was happening all over again, to her own son.

"Garcia? Tell me you got a location?" Hotch asked, an undertone of desperation in his voice.

The redhead simply looked at him, her eyes sad, her lips pursed in defeat.

"Wait.." Reid piped up. "There was something about her voice.. She was so apologetic the whole way through the call, yes, _but_ it wasn't actually reflected in her voice. Not until he mentioned Henry, that is. It was only at that point that you could hear some kind of turmoil. She was almost.. panicking."

"What does that mean, boy wonder?" Morgan chimed in.

"Well I think it means that she genuinely doesn't want to hurt Henry. She doesn't want any harm to come to him and if I've read the desperation in her voice correctly, then she'll go to great lengths to protect him."

"Perhaps she has a child." Rossi suggested. "Perhaps Henry reminds her of her own son."

"Right. Garcia, dig deeper. We need to know if Janette has, or has ever had a child. Boy, girl.. either way. We-" Hotch opened his mouth to speak again but a blur of blonde hair flying past him grabbed his attention. "JJ-"

"I'm going to find my son."


	5. Chapter 5

**Author's Note:** So, I took a little wonder through my imagination and got lost. Horribly lost. However, thanks to Sirens'Spell, I found my way out, and now I will be back to updating. Therefore, this story in it's entirety is dedicated to her. (Do I get cookies now that you got your dedication? ;) )

**Author's Note 2:** Chapters 6 through 10 are written and just need a few touch ups. I'm going to work on that tonight considering I've had far too much caffeine, so if you feel like sending a few reviews my way to keep me going, I wouldn't mind. ;)

**Author's Note 3:** One more thing! I totally took the liberty of stealing a line than Emily said to Doyle, because let's face it, it was quite possibly the hottest thing she has ever said. ;) That is all, enjoy!

* * *

**_Chapter Five; _Dark Side**

"She's here now." Emily spoke down the phone to her Unit Chief as she watched the blonde burst through the doors to the prison's reception. "Yes, sir. I'll call you with any news."

It had been one of the very few times that Hotch had admitted defeat as JJ left for her obvious destination - and if he was honest with himself, he hadn't wholly wanted to stop her. One half of him had for the sake of her well-being, but the other half knew that they were out of options. Hours of interrogation was not going to convince Percy to give up his last pleasure. The truth was, it all rested on JJ now; if anyone was going to get answers from him, it would be her.

Handing over her gun without a second thought, JJ took the visitors badge offered to her by the young receptionist and pushed past Emily. Not one word was exchanged between the two as the guard lead them down the hall. The hecklers fell on deaf ears once again as they passed the cages of convicted men - an innate determination coursing through JJ's veins that only faltered slightly when Percy Watson came into her line of sight.

She had pictured this moment thousands of times over, imagined how she'd react if she was ever faced with this man again, but what she'd underestimated in those nightmarish imaginings was that she would have reason to be driven by a love far stronger than any fear he instilled in her. He looked, and smelt, and acted, just as she remembered him to twenty-two years ago, but the urge to cower away from him was easily overridden by the image of Henry that hung in her mind like a light at the end of a very dark tunnel.

Percy smiled a yellow-toothed grin and eagerly leant forward on his chair as he watched the object of his desire approach, a sickening satisfaction glimmering in his eyes and Emily wanted nothing more than to wipe that smug look from his face. She knew exactly what was going through his perverted mind as she watched JJ calmly take a seat in front of him - admiration for the younger woman the only positive burning through her being at that moment – but she also knew that violence wasn't going to make anything better. So she stood, no more than a foot behind JJ - a comforting presence for the blonde and a silent threat to Percy; _lay one finger on her, and I will end you._

JJ's jaw locked and her back straightened as her eyes met Percy's for the first time in twenty-two years, her own silent message screaming through her demeanour. _You didn't destroy me._

"Looks who's all grown up." Percy spoke, his grey eyes raking over every inch of the blonde. "It's been too long, princess."

"It has." JJ spoke simply, surprising both Percy and Emily. "Remove his cuffs please."

"JJ-" Emily started to protest as she watched a young prison guard tentatively remove Watson's cuffs, but she was immediately cut off.

"Do you really need to be here, Agent Prentiss?" JJ questioned, her eyes still trained on the man in front of her.

Emily's brow furrowed. _What the hell are you doing JJ?_

"Yea! Run along, Agent Prentiss. Jennifer and I 'ave a lot of catchin' up to do." Watson added childishly, pissing Emily off just as much as he had intended to.

"Why don't you all leave us, actually." JJ amended, before breaking her eye contact with Watson and scanning the room to show the guards and Emily that she was deadly serious.

Emily had never once questioned the blonde's ability to do the job, but this wasn't just any job - could JJ really make a rational decision under the current circumstances? Her eyes searched JJ's face for confirmation; finding it easily, nestled somewhere between determination and a darkness that unsettled her. With a reluctant sigh, she decided to trust the younger agent and assured both her and Percy that she wouldn't be far away before turning to leave. "I will be just beyond that gate."

JJ's eyes fell back to Percy's as the guards and Emily left the room. She had to admit that without the brunette's presence, her confident and fearless façade was faltering, but she couldn't mess this up. Henry was counting on her, and she too was counting on herself – she finally had a chance to show the scum sat before her that she wasn't an afraid, ten year old girl anymore. He wasn't going to win - no matter what that meant in the end.

"You're a brave girl givin' up ya body guard like that. Aren't yer afraid of big bad Percy?" The old man raised his eyebrow as he asked his question.

"No." JJ spoke instantly, surprised at how true that one word was. But she wasn't a child anymore, and she refused to allow this sorry excuse for a human-being to get the better of her.

It was clear to him that JJ really wasn't afraid of him, and somehow that attracted him more. "You're looking good enough to eat, girly. Just as pretty as I remember." He spoke again, his lips curling at one corner.

"Why did you wana see me Percy?" JJ purposely ignored his disturbing compliment.

**CM-CM-CM**

Emily stood with her arms folded across her chest on the other side of the mirror, intently watching the interaction between the two, her eyes narrowing slightly as she read their body language.

An overwhelming sense of pride warmed her heart as she fully appreciated JJ's demeanour and the confidence clearly evident there. Something about the blonde in that moment left her in awe of humanity, of all the tragedies that the human brain could endure, could survive, could heal from – of the bravery that stemmed from fear when cowardice would be forgiven, of the beauty that stemmed from darkness when loss of control would be justified. But there was nothing cowardly about the fact that JJ was even present, and there was nothing unrestrained about each of her meticulously precise moves as she interacted with her ex-captor.

It was clear that the woman before her was made from an entirely different calibre of strength than she herself was – this fact was evident in the contrast of the violent surge coursing through her own veins, and the seemingly calm demeanour radiating from the blonde. She was witnessing the human mind at it's finest, at it's most pure and focused, and under any other circumstances, Emily would have easily geeked out over such a learning opportunity.

**CM-CM-CM**

"What? Yer got no time to catch up?" Percy cocked his head to the side. "Come now Jennifer, we both know yer missed me, wished I was there to keep ya warm these past twenty years." There was a hopeful glimmer in his eye that wasn't lost on JJ.

The blonde sighed inwardly as she realised the path she'd have to take in order to get her son back. She knew exactly what this guy wanted from her; the one thing that he didn't get the chance to take from her twenty-two years ago. In reality, she had realised this ten minutes ago, before she'd told the guards and Emily to leave the room – that had been the _reason_ that she had told them to leave, because there was no chance of Emily sitting back and allowing what was about to happen, happen. She couldn't even believe herself what she was about to do, but she didn't matter anymore – the only thing that mattered in this whole damn messed up situation was her beautiful boy, and that thought was what gave her the strength she needed to make her next move.

Her demeanour changed in the blink of an eye – her blank face creasing a little as the beginnings of a coy smile played against her lips – and she looked quickly but purposely subtly towards the small two-way mirror in the room; to gain a little mental strength for herself but also to give Percy the impression that her response shouldn't be heard by anyone but him. "Maybe.."

"Yer wouldn't be playing me would yer girly?" The old guy's fingers splayed against the table, the white of his knuckles evidence of his excitement, his eyes narrowing as he tried to read behind JJ's expression.

Putting on her best media smile, she rose from her seat and perched herself on Percy's side of the table, just to the left of him. His stale scent attacked her senses the moment that she sat down and she almost broke – almost, but not quite. Instead, she reached out a hand and trailed it along his forearm as she answered. "No.." JJ began softly. "Surprisingly, no."

"Yer not worried about yer precious boy?" Percy diverted his gaze from the small hand against his arm to JJ's eyes, his eyebrow raised at this sudden turn of events.

"Oh I know you wouldn't hurt him Percy. You didn't hurt me. You're a big softy really." She allowed her hand to trail down to his leg as she leaned in to him and held her lips a mere inch from his face - an act that repulsed her a thousand times more than her demeanour showed. "Besides," she whispered, "I know you want the same thing that I do."

"Oh yeah, n what's that princess?" Percy's eyes rolled back in his head and his breathing quickened as JJ's hand began to travel further up his thigh.

His foul breath burned against her skin, but she pushed on, flicking her eyes between his half-closed eye lids and his lips. "Don't make me say it." She flipped her long hair over her left shoulder, purposely covering any view Emily might have of her face, a fake shyness playing across her features as she allowed her hand to move a little higher. She couldn't let Emily see her; not like this. She couldn't.. because Emily would surely never look at her the same again if she fully witnessed this moment.

**CM-CM-CM**

From her position on the other side of the mirror, Emily witnessed the change in JJ very clearly – she saw the initial apprehension, the softening of features that seemed encased in stone moments before, the innate determination fueling her every move. Everything about the sudden change in her demeanour was fake but so convincing that had she not known the true circumstance, she herself may have fallen for it.

Her heart jumped in her chest suddenly as she saw JJ rise from her seat and approach the old man and every ounce of her being pulled towards the mirror before her; her left foot unconsciously stepping back just a millimetre, her shoulders hunching forward the tiniest amount, like she was preparing to launch herself through the mirror and leap to JJ's rescue.

It repulsed her to watch the blonde do what could only be described as heavy flirting with a man that had abducted her as a child – she could only imagine JJ's own revulsion in that instant - and she closed her eyes in an attempt to quiet JJ's words that were filtering through the speakers of the small, dark room. Of course, she knew that it was all a game – a game that she herself had played many times before to get an unsub to talk – but how far was she really willing to go? At what point was enough going to be enough? She forced herself to open her eyes again just as JJ shielded her face with her hair - an action that Emily knew was solely for her benefit, her reprieve, an indication that this was about to head in a direction that she wouldn't like - and one mantra played repeatedly through her mind, desperately hoping the blonde would somehow hear her silent plea. _Don't do it. Don't do it._

**CM-CM-CM**

Glancing down briefly, the blonde noticed the unmistakeable bulge in Percy's pants. It wasn't like she hadn't expected it – in fact she had wanted him to get to this point of being worked up so that he would let down his guard – but this, she now realised, was as far as she was prepared to go. Slowly moving her hand back down his thigh, she made her preparations to move. "So-"

Percy grabbed the blonde's arm instantly. "Where do yer think yer going?"

Holding her left hand out behind her instantly, JJ effectively stilled Emily's movements – she couldn't see the brunette, but she knew that she had jumped to her defence the moment that Percy's chubby fingers had wrapped themselves around her slim wrist. She was terrified, if she was honest, but if Emily and the guards came storming in here now, she would lose her nerve to ever face this man again and Henry would be lost to her forever.

His eyes glaring tauntingly towards the two-way mirror as he whispered, Percy pulled JJ closer to him, his grip on her wrist stronger than before as he pressed her hand to his crotch. "1745 Edgemont Boulevard. 1892 Westfield Place. 19A Pine Court. 742 First Street. 14B Clearview Terrace.."

It took a moment for Percy's words to register in her mind as she concentrated on stretching her hand as much as possible, bowing it up until she could feel the tendons in her hand almost tearing, but thankfully less of his manhood pressing against her palm. After a moment, the words finally began to logically filter into her mind and JJ's eyes widened and her heart pounded in her chest as Percy listed off the address for everyone who had ever meant something to her.

**CM-CM-CM**

Emily's subtle gravitation towards JJ turned into a full forced lurch as Percy grabbed at the blonde, a natural movement that resulted in her own hands gripping fiercely at the lip of the window to still herself once JJ's hand raised in a gesture that clearly signaled her wish. She dug her short nails into the rubber that sealed the window; a silent and simple gesture that somehow seemed to be the only thing keeping her tethered to the spot.

Her eyes burned through the glass, training themselves on Percy's lips in an attempt to read his whispered words whilst her feet fought to move. But the agent in her knew exactly what JJ did – they couldn't risk losing their final chance and if she did, the younger agent would never forgive her.

**CM-CM-CM**

"...1529 Cranston Avenue. 963 Lithfield Close. There's no getting away from me Jennifer. I own you." Watson finished, a sinister smugness lacing each of his untypically perfectly enunciated words.

She could feel her own heartbeat in her ears as Watson finished his spiel. She had two options in that moment – she could succumb to him, give him exactly what he wanted and hope that he would return Henry to her, or she could show him exactly what she had been wishing she could show him for the past twenty-two years.

Closing her hand suddenly around his manhood, JJ opted for the latter - she was done playing games. Her fingers gripped tighter with every passing second as she used her free hand to mimic it's grip on Percy's hair, effectively forcing his eyes level with her own. Whimpers of pain fell from the old man's lips; the sound causing the blonde's once bright blue eyes to darken with an anger and hatred that she had never felt before. Power coursed through her veins as she mocked him silently with her ever increasing grip and now sinister eyes. _Who owns who now?_

"J-Jennifer. Please.." Percy spat, suddenly not as cocky anymore as a searing pain scorched through his groin.

A wicked smirk curled the corners of JJ's lips, her eyes growing darker still, and when she spoke, it was almost like the voice wasn't her own; venom pouring from lips that usually held the most comforting of words. "You do not own me. You never have and never will own me. You are nothing better than a piece of shit on my shoe. Do you understand me?"

"Y-yes.." The man stammered through gritted teeth as the pain in his critch overwhelmed through him, but somehow he couldn't tear his eyes away from hers; there was something hypnotic about them.

**CM-CM-CM**

Emily watched on wide-eyed, an intense contrast of anxiety and relief burning in her chest as the blonde took control of the situation - did she really know this woman? She still couldn't see her face but she didn't need to – the tensed muscles of her back pulsing through her tight black shirt and the white of her knuckles from the unrelenting grip on the old man's hair expressed everything that she was unable to witness in her eyes.

In the years that she'd known JJ, she had never once seen even a glimmer of this side of her. The blonde, by nature, was gentle and comforting and serene – but then it was also true that no one had ever come between her and her son before. A mother's love for a child never ceased to amaze the brunette, but she couldn't deny the sudden sense of fear that was running through her own veins at that moment. Fear JJ - even a slight fear for herself.

**CM-CM-CM**

"Good. Now tell me where my boy is." She curled her fingers further around him, her nails almost breaking skin through his overalls.

"I don't kn.. ouch!" Percy yelped like a puppy as JJ pulled suddenly on his manhood before speaking again, frantically through uneven breaths. "I really don't. I mean I do but I only know ta get there. I don't know an address."

With one last stare into his eyes, a search for truth, JJ pushed off of the old man and released her grip. "Then we're going on a trip."

**CM-CM-CM**

Emily, her eyes still wide from the events that had just unfolded, watched JJ as she stormed towards the gate. She jumped suddenly as the door to the small room she was in flung open, almost as though she wasn't expecting anyone to open it, but it was more a result of the look that she now fully noticed adorning JJ's face. For the first time, the brunette saw the darkness burning there, the hatred and pain and anger that flickered only in the blonde's eyes whilst the rest of her face held blank.

For a brief moment she simply stared, but before she knew it, her feet had lead her to stand directly in front of JJ and she was tentatively lifting a hand to the blonde's cheek. The woman she knew was nowhere to be seen in the smaller woman's features and she needed to tether her somehow, she needed to feel JJ's skin just to find some indication that she was still her, but her hand was immediately pushed away and dark eyes bored seemingly straight through her. Emily's heart cracked in two as she witnessed nothing but the shell of JJ; a dark, empty, and quite frankly terrifying, shell.

"Call Hotch and the warden. I need a car. He's taking me to Henry." JJ spoke with an eerie calm, almost like a robot, piercing through the silence and startling Emily once again.

"I will." Emily responded softly. She studied the blonde's face intently, a mixture of concern and curiousness present on her own. It was true that there was a rule about profiling your colleagues, but she couldn't help it – in the space of ten minutes, JJ had fallen into a thousand feet of darkness that she genuinely wasn't certain that she could pull her back from. "But I need you to look at me, Jennifer."

"Don't call me that!" The younger woman pushed Emily back violently against the two way mirror, her chest suddenly heaving and a predatory look in her eye.

JJ was definitely looking at her now, just like she had wanted, and a part of her was suddenly regretting her request. "I'm sorry." The older agent's voice was nothing more than a whisper as the smaller woman pressed Emily's shoulders against the glass with surprising strength. She should have been afraid – and honestly, she was – but she spoke again, her whispers filling the silence repeatedly. "I'm sorry, JJ. I'm sorry."

The darkness in JJ's eyes was still very much present but fading and she took that opportunity to tether her lover back to safe ground.

JJ pushed with every ounce of strength she had as Emily enveloped her in unwelcome arms, and for a moment, the brunette wondered if she was helping or hindering; until she felt the blonde's small form relax against her chest and silent sobs replace yells of protest. She held one hand gently but firmly against the blonde's head, her other holding her up by her waist as she coaxed the young woman from her darkness.

**CM-CM-CM**

"We're not honestly gona allow her to go alone with him are we?" Morgan scanned the room, expecting someone to quell his fears immediately, and his eyes widened as not one of them did. "You cannot be serious! You're allowing JJ to go out there alone with this guy?"

Feeling Morgan's fear run through his own veins, Hotch responded reassuringly; for his own benefit as much as his agent's. "No, we're not. Well, not exactly. We're gona be behind her every step of the way, and one of the warden's men will be in the vehicle with her. At no point will she be alone with him."

"Oh come on Hotch! You know as well as I do that we're gona be too far behind them to do anything should he decide to give up his little act, and the warden's men are nothing but trained monkeys. JJ isn't thinking straight and you know that too! She shouldn't be going out there at all!" Morgan brushed his hand over his head as he turned away, before turning back when another thought crossed his mind. "And what if he kills JJ and just runs? What if all he wants from this is freedom? You heard what he said on the phone!" He couldn't believe that this was really happening.

"Look, this is being conducted under JJ's terms. She has the control, not him, and we've taken all of the necessary precautions to ensure her safety. Besides, he won't. He's waited 22 years for her, not even the possibility of easy freedom is going to pull him away from her now. Once she has Henry, he will be brought straight back to the prison. He isn't going anywhere without JJ." Hotch responded as his eyes became distant as he tried to convince himself that this would work out. This was quite possibly the biggest and most unorthodox decision that he'd made in his entire career, and he prayed to whatever deity that was listening that he wouldn't regret it.

"Exactly. Isn't that what we should be concerned about?" Garcia softly verbalised everyone's fear. "Sir, what if.." Her voice faltered a little. "You really think he's gona go right back to jail when he has JJ so close? He's gona go out in a hail of bullets and he's gona take her with him."

Hotch's heart sank as Garcia spoke. He knew that she was right, he'd known it from the second that he'd taken Emily's call. He also knew, however, that they had no other option in this than damage control – someone was going to come out of this dead or at the very least seriously injured, there was no doubt about that; they just had to make sure that that someone wasn't JJ or Henry.

"We have no choice. We're doing it." Hotch asserted his authority; he knew his team's concerns were justified - they reflected his own vividly - but he also wasn't blind to the fact that they were still out of other options; Percy would have no reason at all to lead them to Henry without JJ's presence. He hated knowing that the young woman was even within five feet of this guy, but he wasn't even certain at this point that disallowing it would make a great deal of difference. If he'd learnt one thing throughout his career, it was that you don't come between mother and child. "The warden has agreed under the condition that his men are with us when we tail them. But we need to keep this quiet. If Strauss catches wind of this then it's over."

"Yeah maybe that wouldn't be a bad thing." Morgan spoke angrily before leaving the room.


	6. Chapter 6

**Author's Note:** I should forewarn you that there are scenes in this chapter that some people may find difficult - I know it was difficult to write. But, I assure you, I will be giving you a little light at the end of the tunnel in the next chapter to make up for it.

* * *

**_Chapter Six;_ The Chase**

JJ watched as the prison guards helped Percy into the caged back seat of the police car, her arms folded across her Kevlar-covered chest in what would typically be a defensive manner, but somehow she looked fierce, ready for anything.

She glanced down briefly at her watch, _4:43pm_; the team would be here any minute, but that was a minute too long. They had a multitude of prison guards and local police officers right here, and yet she was _still_ waiting. Her blood boiled with anticipation – she hated protocol in that moment.

"Any chance I can change your mind?" Emily walked slowly towards her, idly adjusting her own Kevlar as she did.

JJ knew that the brunette was concerned, could see it etched over every inch of her perfectly sculpted face, but she could also see that she was holding back, trying desperately not to question her judgement. She was grateful for that. "Tell me that I'm doing the right thing."

The brunette's face winced slightly; she knew that JJ wouldn't like her honest answer, and honestly, a part of her was afraid to piss her off. But at the same time, she couldn't lie to her – it would do more harm than good. So with a breath, she spoke truthfully. "I think you're walking into a deathtrap." Unconsciously poking out her tongue to run along the corner of her mouth, the brunette looked off into the distance before returning her gaze to JJ with a sigh. "You know how this movie ends, JJ. You're not stupid."

And she did know. She was hanging everything on the sixty seconds of power that she'd had over Percy, and she couldn't even be sure that the old man would lead her to her son anyway, but she had to cling onto the hope; it was the only justification for what could essentially be a suicide run, and it was the only thing bounding together a plan that went against everything that she had ever been taught. She had to tell herself that Henry was at the end of this tunnel, that Percy would lead her to him, because without that, she wasn't certain that she'd climb into this car.

"But I also trust you. I understand why you need to go with us, and I _trust_ you."

Emily's voice startled JJ from her thoughts, and tears welled in her own eyes as she recognised the honesty burning in the brunette's. There it was, the final surge of hope that she had needed, the encouragement that she knew she would only ever get from Emily. And that's when it hit her, the reality of everything that she'd be leaving behind should this go wrong; this beautiful and honest woman stood before her, her friends, her family, her _son_.

A small shred of comfort warmed the blonde's heart as she remembered the more than adequate god parents that she had chosen for Henry, but it was easily overshadowed as she realised that in the eyes of the law, her son still had a biological father and therefore wouldn't be passed immediately onto Garcia and Reid. "Don't let Will take him. " JJ's eyes were wide and exposed and easily conveyed everything that had run through her mind in the previous five seconds. "I mean it, Emily. He's Garcia's and Reid's, and.. yours. Should anything go wrong, do not let Will take him. Please."

Emily's eyes glazed over with her own tears as she heard the implications in the younger woman's words, the finality that laced her request – a request that both her and JJ knew that she could easily accommodate with her contacts, but one that she didn't even want to humour right now. Placing a hand against JJ's cheek, she promised. "He is _yours_, Jayje. And he is going home with you."

JJ wanted to believe it; more than anything, she wanted to believe the promise that Emily was making, but she couldn't allow herself that luxury right now. She swallowed hard, her eyes flicking between brown orbs and welcoming lips as she relaxed into Emily's touch. A buzzing phone broke their intense silence, and both women knew what it was concerning even before Emily answered – there was only one reason that she'd be getting a call on that phone, and it wouldn't be a positive one.

Pressing her lips gently to Emily's in one chaste kiss with no concern for who might see, JJ spoke in a whisper. "You should get that."

She watched as Emily bit her lip and turned to answer her phone. Blocking out any and every other sound around her, JJ tried to listen to the conversation that she knew Emily was purposely mumbling. She made out odd words, but nothing that really added up to a fully comprehensible sentence.

But then it came. "_Strauss knows_?"

And that was it, the confirmation that the call really was nothing positive – the breaks had been slammed on the whole operation, a revelation strong enough to fuel the blonde's next rash decision.

"Excuse me! Ma'am! You can't!"

Emily heard the prison guard yelling followed by the deafening screech of tyres and turned just in time to watch the white police car speed out of the parking lot, almost knocking over the young guard that was trying in vain to stop what was unfolding. "Oh fuckin- ..Hotch she's gone again."

**CM-CM-CM**

Morgan naturally put his foot down as he heard Emily's words over the speaker phone. A huge part of him wanted to yell 'I told you so!' to his boss, but what was that going to achieve? So instead, he put his anger into ensuring that they got to the prison in as little time as possible.

Hotch pressed his phone to his forehead and his jaw locked; an outward sign of his anger that he wouldn't typically display. The mess of this entire situation had increased exponentially in the space of one phone call. He knew that it hadn't been Morgan that had slipped Strauss information on their not so predetermined plan – however angry the dark agent was, the last thing he'd do is go running to the Section Chief - it had simply been the grapevine that threaded high throughout the FBI, but he couldn't help the frustration that coursed through him at knowing that he had gotten his way. Though, did he have a right to think that? Had Morgan really gotten is way? It was fair to say that in this situation, no one had really gotten their ideal outcome.

Of course, it didn't matter anymore that Strauss knew, not now that JJ was speeding off into the past with one of the most unstable men that he'd never had the displeasure of meeting – they had no choice but to go after her. Returning his typical stoic form, Hotch dialled Garcia. "I'm going to need the coordinates for car 875A."

**CM-CM-CM**

JJ's hands gripped at the steering wheel, the white of her knuckles visibly expressing her sudden turmoil. _What the hell did you just do, Jareau?_ She could turn back now, put this down to a momentary lapse of judgement – but she knew that it was that very lapse of judgement that would be enough for Hotch to go against now definitive orders. And more than that, they were running out of time.

A huge part of her felt guilty; guilty for putting her team, her friends, in this situation - but for the most part she felt determined; determined to find her son. She pressed her foot to the accelerator until it hit the floor of the car, their speed increasing with a sudden jolt.

"Wo-ooah. Lil' Miss Badass comin' through!" The somewhat mocking voice came from the back of the car.

She ignored his comment, her jaw locking as she blinked her eyes several time and increased her grip on the wheel – she had to regain some modicum of control. "Which way?"

**CM-CM-CM**

"Thanks Garcia." Hotch turned to Morgan and spoke again. "Don't head to the prison. There's a GPS in the car that JJ took and Garcia is pulling up the coordinates now."

Allowing his eyes to show Hotch just how angry he was with him, Morgan shook his head and returned them to the road. He knew that this wasn't Hotch's fault. Whilst he wouldn't admit it verbally, he knew that he was simply being unreasonable under the circumstances that were, for him, far too close to home; venting frustration and fear in the complete wrong direction.

"Okay I've got it!" Garcia's voice filled the car once more, startling Morgan from his own mind.

"Talk to me, baby girl." The dark agent spoke, a hurried tone to his voice – time was not a luxury that they had.

"Okay, if you take the next right and then a sharp left you'll be on the right track. From there there is about three miles of highway that you're going to have to take. There is no quicker route. They're about fifteen miles ahead of you, and by the looks of these coordinates, they're not making plans to slow any time soon."

**CM-CM-CM**

"Which way now?" JJ questioned, her eyes moving constantly between the road and the rear-view mirror as she made the turn that Percy had instructed her to. Words couldn't express how uncomfortable it made her to have her back to the old man. It was true that he was almost sixty and probably couldn't do a great deal to her if he tried, but she still felt unsettled.

"Next left. Then keep goin' straight fer about a mile until yer come to an exit." Percy spoke, a strangely content look on his face that unnerved JJ. "That was quite a trick yer pulled back there."

JJ purposely ignored him again – she wasn't here for conversation. She turned left with a little more speed than necessary, almost like she was riding the go-karts at a fairground - except the thing fueling her wasn't the thrill of the ride; it was the promise of her son's safety.

Allowing her eyes to lift to the sky, she noticed the darkness closing in on them and silently prayed that they'd be there soon. There was only one thing worse than being alone with this man, and that was being alone with him in darkness. Memories of her childhood pierced through her mind instantly – she was losing it. Her grip on reality was slipping through her fingertips like grains of sand.

**CM-CM-CM**

"Okay got it." Emily hung up the phone and spoke to the wardens men who were currently speeding sixty miles an hour in the wrong direction. "Spin around and take a right, you're going the wrong way."

The brunette was unable to pinpoint any one of her emotions in that moment, but she knew that the three other people in the car with her were quite possibly the most incompetent people that she had ever met. Her opinion was likely bias, of course, considering how personal the situation was, but the facts were the facts – it was the warden's men who had jumped into the nearest car with guns and sped off in the first direction they came to, and it was the warden's men who had allowed JJ to hijack a car whilst in a less than logical frame of mind and drive off into the sunset with a convicted rapist and murderer.

Wasn't it?

**CM-CM-CM**

As they turned another corner, a small house came into view. It was no more than 30 foot by 45 foot, and was surrounded by woodland that easily kept the small building from sight to passes by. The place looked like it hadn't been used in years, with dirt covered windows, crumbling roof tiles and flaking blue paint – and that's when JJ's heart clenched in her chest. Goose bumps immediately burned at every inch of her skin as she shut off the engine..

_I've been here before.._

**CM-CM-CM**

"They've stopped." The tapping of keys could be heard through the phone's speaker before the redhead spoke again, a fear-laced hesitance in her voice. "Sir.. What was the name of the location that Percy held JJ when she was a child?"

"It didn't really have an address. It was something lodge.. Cedar Lodge." His hand wrapped around the small handle above his head as he tried to steady his body against the force of the car's velocity.

"Oh god, Sir.. He's taking her back to where it all began." The redhead's panic was unmistakable now.

"So it _is_ a trap?" Morgan yelled over the sound of the road, shaking his head in anger, his foot pressing even further into the accelerator.

"We don't know that. He couldn't have known that JJ was going to hijack the car."

"Yes but _you_ did!" Morgan began – it didn't matter that his personal experiences were fueling his own anger; the truth was that Hotch should have never allowed JJ to be a part of this and he had no qualms in making his opinion known. "She shouldn't have been anywhere near that guy Hotch. You should have stopped her!"

Hotch's eyes spoke volumes as he stared down Morgan – a silent _You're on thin ice_ burning only in his eyes. Despite his stern out-ward appearance, he did have a heart, and he did know exactly what was pushing Morgan to act so irrationally, but now really wasn't the time.

**CM-CM-CM**

Emily listened to the conversation unfold through her earpiece, her own heart crushing under the weight of the new revelation. She knew what everyone else did – Henry was likely nowhere in the vicinity; there was really no good reason that he would be. Percy was inconceivable; why would he keep good on his word now that he had JJ to himself?

Her naturally cool demeanour broke as her fist met the side of the door. "God dammit!"

**CM-CM-CM**

She knew before she had even climbed out of the car that Henry wasn't here, that he was never here, that actually, he may no longer even be alive. The truth was, Percy didn't need a living and breathing Henry to achieve his goal – all he had needed was the illusion that he may still be alive to lure JJ into his trap, and if the sadistic look that currently marred his face was anything to go by, she wasn't going to see her child again.

The corners of her world crumbled and fell, the final pieces of reality slipping away completely, and powerless to stop it, her darkness returned with more fury than ever. She climbed out of the car, slamming the door behind her, her entire body shaking with a force far stronger than she had ever felt as she opened the passenger door and dragged Percy from his seated position and onto the ground.

The old guy hit the dirt with a thud, a sadistic smirk still playing on his lips as he saw JJ's blue eyes turn black and cold, evil and empty. He looked somewhat _proud_, even.

The blonde grabbed a fistful of scraggy hair. "Where the _fuck_ is my son?"

The laugh that fell from Percy's lips was the pure definition of evil, everything that nightmares were made of. "Oh lovey, yer don't need to worry about him anymore."

JJ saw red as, in so many words, Percy verbalised her worst fear - Henry really was gone. Her hand curled itself naturally into a fist and it had met his face three times before she had the wherewithal to stop herself; her hand now covered in blood, him still laughing like it was all a sick and twisted game.

"Stand up." JJ grabbed Percy by the shoulder of his overalls, a determination radiating from her that suddenly faltered as she felt a hand grab her leg and pull her to the ground.

He was on her in seconds; straddled over her stomach, his legs gripping hers together, his hands pinning her smaller ones to the dirt above her head. His lips twisted into a smirk as he saw the fight still present in the blonde even under the sudden shift of circumstances. Not one part of her seemed afraid, and this turned him on just as much as it had at the prison. "Yer spend long enough with handcuffs on yer wrists yer learn a lot about them. Yer shoulda listened to yer woman Jennifer."

JJ lay there silent, unmoving – for the first time in her life, she had to admit that Percy Watson was right; she should have listened to Emily. But what would that have changed? Henry would still be gone, and with that last thought, she realised that she wasn't certain she had the power or desire to fight anymore. She'd fought her whole life – she'd fought when she was ten years old and locked in his dingy, dark basement; she'd fought for months after, every time she woke up covered in sweat, nightmares still pulling vividly at her imagination; she'd fought throughout her late teenage years when any sexual encounter brought with it memories that she thought she'd laid to rest; she'd fought that in her later years even, with every one except Emily; she'd fought every day since she received her FBI badge to ensure that no child would ever have to go through what she did; and she had fought every hour of the past day to keep her control, to not allow the loss of the most important thing in her life to get the better of her. But without the latter, without that light, she was done.

She was done fighting.

**CM-CM-CM**

"How much farther Garcia?"

"About 7 miles." Garcia spoke, knowing that it would take them at least another ten minutes to get there at their speed.

"Is there a quicker route? An off road track that we could take to shorten the time?" Hotch knew that they were still too many minutes away.

"There really isn't, Sir. There's the field to your left that would cut off-"

"Turn left." Hotch cut the redhead off as an easy turn into the field came into sight, and the screech of tyres and honking of horns followed his command as Morgan turned sharply.

**CM-CM-CM**

"I've dreamed about this every day Jennifer." Percy began, his eyes leaving her face. A frown formed on his own face as his gaze met Kevlar, and he loosened the protective garment and carefully pushed it up over her head, smiling once again as his eyes fell upon breasts covered only by the thin material of her black shirt. "Imagined what I'd do if I ever got the chance.."

JJ stared off at something in the distance. She wanted to close her eyes – more than anything, she wanted to close her eyes – but she knew that would only add to his pleasure and whilst she had no fight left, she certainly wasn't going to help him in his depraved, final victory.

Percy clasped both of her wrists in one hand and used the other to trail beneath her shirt and to the taut skin of her tummy. "Yer feel wonderful Jennifer."

"_Mommy! Emmy's gona teach me to play catch!" _

_The blonde smiled from her shaded spot beneath the tree. She had been hesitant when Emily had suggested a trip to the park, but a part of her had also been relieved. It had been just a couple of weeks since they'd first taken their relationship to a new level, and the brunette was already making good on the promises that she had made that evening. _

_There was something incredibly beautiful and heart-warming about watching the older woman run around with her son – a closeness that she knew Emily had fought to avoid since the boy was born – and she settled herself back against the tree behind her, a content smile fixed firmly against her pink lips._

JJ fought to hold onto her memory as Percy's hands roamed freely over her body, further up her stomach before mauling at her right breast over the material of her bra. It was slipping away, Henry and Emily were slipping away.

"_He is exhausting." Emily smiled as she flopped down on her back beside JJ, leaving Henry now kicking the small ball around like a soccer ball._

"_And by the looks of it, he hasn't quite grasped that catch doesn't involve the feet." JJ smiled down at Emily. She wanted to kiss her, a silent thank you, but she knew that she couldn't. They'd agreed to take things slow, and that slowness didn't involve making out in front of her son._

"_I'm glad we did this, JJ." Emily spoke honestly._

Her shirt was now pushed unceremoniously above her bra, and chubby fingers were dipping beneath one of the cups as Percy shifted himself so that he was now straddling JJ's thighs.

"_Thank you, Emily."_

_The brunette pushed herself up onto her elbows, nothing but sincerity playing across her face. "There is nowhere else I would rather be than here with you and him. I meant everything I said, JJ." Reaching a hand to brush JJ's fallen hair behind her hear, Emily spoke again. "You amaze me, do you know that?"_

Emily's words punctuated through Percy's grunts of pleasure as he ground himself against her thighs. _There's nothing amazing about me right now_, JJ thought to herself as she focused harder on a random object in the distance, trying to follow Emily's voice back to the safety of her daydream.

"_You don't believe me, do you?" Emily moved herself into a sitting position, a weary eye flicking to the small boy that was still engrossed in kicking around the baseball. "Do you remember that day at Hankel's farm? When I found you in the bathroom?"_

_JJ frowned at the memory, but she nodded for Emily to go on._

"_That was when I realised."_

_The blonde's brow furrowed in confusion. "Realised what?"_

"_That there was no one else I wanted." Emily spoke simply. "I've never been able to show my emotions, and I was so in awe in that moment of how fearless you were."_

_JJ rolled her eyes and averted her gaze once again, leaning back against the tree with a sigh. "If I remember correctly, my hair was a mess, I had tears in my eyes and I almost shot you. I don't think fearless is the right word."_

_Emily smiled adoringly. "You were open, and exposed. You let me see that you weren't okay. Do you realise how much strength that takes? I've spent my whole life devoid of emotion. Even when I knew what I felt for you, I spent every waking minute after that pretending to be oblivious. But you JJ.. you wear your heart on your sleeve. That makes you pretty damn fearless to me. And you know what the best part is? This.. The way you shrug it off like it's nothing. You have no idea just how amazing you are."_

JJ felt a hand slip between her legs, dragging her back suddenly from her reprieve and something snapped; something within her reached out and shook her with a force great enough to give her back the strength that she needed, and she ripped her arms from the grasp of a now wide-eyed Percy.

"Oh I love a little fight." The old man chuckled as he fought to regain control of the situation, curling his hand into a fist and slamming it against the blonde's cheek when he felt that he wasn't getting anywhere.

She tasted blood immediately, a pain radiating throughout her face that told her that the bone was probably broken - but somehow it only fueled her further. She kicked her legs unceremoniously as she clawed at the old man's face, earning herself a _Bitch!_ when she broke the skin there.

"You are going to regret that." Percy spat as he continued grasping at air, trying in vain to keep a hold of the blonde's flailing limbs.

JJ felt a hand slip once against between her legs as Percy's full body weight pressed down against her; her hands now pinned by her sides as she fought to grasp on to something, anything, and a sudden relief washed through her as she felt the handle of the gun that Percy had been too damn stupid to remove from her.

"Ohh yer gona get it good missy." Percy grunted. "So good."

"Don't make promises you can't keep, old man." She engaged in conversation with him as she stretched out her fingers, grasping for a firm grip on the guns handle. "Can you even get it up?" She added, despite having had the proof back at the prison.

"I will show yer just what I'm capable of."

Percy leant back to unzip his overalls and JJ seized her opportunity, stretching the last inch to her gun and pressing it tight into the old man's chest in the blink of an eye. She didn't falter as she pulled the trigger, didn't even blink as the sound ricocheted around the trees surrounding them and Percy fell unnaturally backwards.

**CM-CM-CM**

The sound penetrated the car, firing fear into every one of the agent's hearts.

"Garcia! Tell me we're close!" Hotch all but yelled.

"You are, you are!" Garcia had heard the sound just as the rest of them had. "You're about eight hundred yards away but because of the direction you came, there's no close way to get the SUV through the trees. You are going to have to get out and walk in about two hundred yards."

The team sped across the field, their hearts collectively pounding in their chests, each one of them fearing the worst but at the same time refusing to accept it. The SUV came to a sudden stop as the veil of trees became too dense, each agent jumping out, guns drawn before the vehicle had even fully stilled.

"You and Reid go left." Hotch told Morgan before turning to Rossi. "Rossi, you're with me. I know what we heard guys and we need to get there as quick as possible, but we have to get there as quietly as possible too. Be careful." Hotch didn't need to be another agent down – things were already as bad as he could handle.

**CM-CM-CM**

Emily jumped as the sound shot through her earpiece, the sudden lump in her throat almost choking her as she squeezed her eyes tight shut as if that would magically change the possibilities.

By now they were just a few yards behind the SUV and almost smashed into the back of it as it had made it's abrupt turn into the field; their own speed not warranting them enough reaction time to make the same turn and they'd wound up a few hundred yards out before they had the chance to follow the team.

The warden's men and Emily followed the same suit as the team, jumping from they're vehicle before it had fully stopped.

"You, you, that way. You, young guy, come with me." The ever protective Emily Prentiss was still present somewhere in her as she chose the baby faced officer to follow her. The other two were old and experienced and could look after themselves – this guy, she wasn't so sure, and he should never have been thrown into something like this in the first place. "Stay behind me. Let me know if you see anything suspicious, and _please_, stay quiet."

The young officer nodded his head nervously, overwhelmingly grateful for the agent in front of him, and the four headed off into the trees in the direction that the team had disappeared.

**CM-CM-CM**

JJ looked down at the body below her and felt nothing – she had shot another human-being and yet somehow, she felt nothing. Though, human-being was hardly a fair term for Percy Watson.

The sound of a revved engine startled her from somewhere in the distance and suddenly it hit her; not only had she shot a human-being, she had technically kidnapped a human-being and _then_ shot him. No matter what the details of the situation were, in the eyes of the law, this was going to be seen as premeditated.

She jumped into the driver's side of the police car, reaching underneath and inside everything in search of what she knew for certain was in there. The engine sound was approaching fast, she was running out of time, and then she saw it; a small, black circle fixed to the underside of the rear-view mirror. It looked like nothing more than part of the design, but that was the point – tracking devices weren't exactly intended for people to find. Smashing it from the mirror with the butt of her gun, JJ tossed it the ground beside Percy, and without a second glance to the motionless body, she slammed the door and sped off in the direction they'd arrived.

**CM-CM-CM**

They all heard the car before they saw it, their feet naturally picking up a faster pace in the direction of the sound.

Hotch pushed his way through overgrown shrubbery, a small house coming into his line of sight just as the tail end of a car blurred away and his feet moved faster once again despite knowing he could never outrun it. His hands met his knees in exhaustion, finally admitting defeat as the vehicle disappeared into the distance.

"Garcia, keep an eye on that car. Do not lose the coordinates." Hotch spoke into his ear piece, his breaths falling unevenly as he made his command.

Rossi caught up with him in a matter of seconds, Emily not too far behind and the young man with her trailing just a few feet behind her.

"Sir the coordinates aren't going anywhere, they're exactly where they've been for the past 20 minutes." Garcia spoke confused into Hotch's earpiece.

"The tracking device is no longer in the car." Hotch turned to the three other people in his company.

"I don't get it. Why would JJ leave if she knew we were close? Which she must have since she clearly knew that we were following her." Emily asked, confused.

"Well she's not exactly been thinking clearly.." Rossi answered honestly

"Or what if it isn't JJ in the car?" Hotch verbalised what they were all refusing to consider.

"Hotch, you're gona wana see this!" Morgan yelled, breaking them all from their thoughts; the different direction that he'd taken allowing him to come out at the front of the house rather than the back.

The four followed the voice cautiously, their training engrained into them despite Morgan's yelling already indicating that the coast was clear. Hotch lead first, his gun drawn, the other three following not far behind as they rounded the right side of the small building; each of them finding themselves stuck somewhere between anguish and relief as an orange jumpsuit came into view.

"It seems she did him over pretty good. And this," Morgan bent down to pick up a small black object from the ground, "tells me something that I really don't wana know."

Emily looked over the body, her eyes reading every detail as though it were a book. She'd seen her fair share of dead bodies in her time, but she could say with a great deal of certainty that this one wouldn't be keeping her from sleep – well not for the most obvious reasons, she realised, as she noted the almost fully unzipped overalls of Percy Watson, the defensive wounds and bruises against his cheek, the dirt ground into his knees and the small wet area against his crotch. She closed her eyes and held a hand to her mouth to quell the vomit threatening to escape. _Please God no._

"It looks like there was a struggle." Reid spoke subtly, his innocent mind unable and unwilling to comprehend any further than that.

"Any sign of Henry?" Hotch asked, trying to keep his agent's focused despite the horrific truth that was screaming from the body at their feet.

"None at all." Morgan made eye contact with Hotch. "This doesn't look good, Hotch. The best case is that she has him and there's another explanation for her fleeing. The worst.."

"is that he was never here in the first place." Rossi finished his sentence for him.


	7. Chapter 7

**Author's Note:** There's no dark yuckiness in this, I promise!

* * *

**_Chapter Seven_; Good Intentions**

"Aaron, there's still a child missing and one of your agents has gone rogue. Not to mention the man that is now dead because you couldn't keep that agent in check." Strauss pressed a hand to her forehead and leant against her desk before verbalising the rest of her thoughts. "The warden is having a field day with this, do you realise that? He wants your ass on a silver platter. And do you have any idea how much paper work this is going to take? How many ass' I'm going to have to kiss to fix your mess?"

Hotch knew what he wanted to say in response and it certainly fell far from what he _should_ say - if he did indeed want to keep his job, that is. Strauss never failed to show where her priorities really lay. "Erin, I understand your position on this, but you weren't there. I acted as I saw fit given the circumstances and I still stand by the decisions that I made."

"How can you justify a man's death, hours of man power wasted, and yet another bad mark against our name when it all could have been prevented if you and your team had just done your damn job properly!"

"With all due respect, that _man_ you mentioned was no man at all. He destroyed the lives of 17 children, JJ included – his life is not going to be missed. Not even by the warden." _Who, by the way, is clearly a match made in heaven for you. "_As for the rest of my team," He paused for a moment, remembering Morgan's annoyance at the decisions that he had made. "this is nothing to do with them. They did their job exceptionally well, just as they always do. If you need to blame someone, if someone needs to pay for any of this, make it me."

"Oh I intend to Agent Hotchner." Strauss moved from her spot against her desk to sit behind it. "What were you thinking? Send your agents home. They've been on their feet for over 24 hours and I can't afford to clean up another one of your mistakes should you decide to condone their sleep-deprived rash decisions too."

"Yes ma'am." Hotch acquiesced through gritted teeth. He'd learnt one thing over the years, and that was that when it came to Section Chief Erin Strauss, sometimes it was better to say nothing at all.

**CM-CM-CM**

It was almost seven am and they'd spent the whole evening at the local police department, working with the police and the warden's men to find both JJ and Henry. But when every lead or possibility had come up short, Strauss had ordered them all back to Quantico.

Hotch had returned more stone-faced than usual from his meeting with the Section Chief, ordering each of his team to go home immediately before slipping quietly into his office. They'd quickly agreed, but as soon as his office door was closed, they had each headed their separate ways – how could they go home and sleep under this circumstance?

Rossi, Reid and Emily each wound up in the conference room when their own company became too much to bear, whilst Garcia had gone in search of Morgan who had parted ways with the rest of them the moment that they had arrived back at base.

"Hey you.." Garcia found Morgan sitting at his desk, spinning a pen against the wooden surface as he stared at nothing.

"I can't believe he allowed her do this." He began without lifting his eyes. "I told him it was a bad idea and now, what? She's missing and there's not a damn thing we can do about it. We have no leads, no nothing." Morgan scoffed before turning and noticing the tears welling up in Garcia's eyes. "Oh baby girl, I'm sorry."

"You need to stop feeling sorry for yourself! He did what he thought was best with what he had, and you sitting here in a cloud of self-pity isn't going to help anything!" The redhead yelled quietly, her mouth stretching more than necessary with each word and her hands animated as she fought back more tears. "JJ is out there, probably terrified. Not to mention Henry. Yes, this is a giant damn mess but it isn't Hotch's fault!"

On his feet now, Morgan wrapped Garcia up into his arms as she sobbed into his chest. "Shh.. She's gona be okay baby. They both are." He bent down to her level, his hands resting on her shoulders as he forced her to look him in the eyes so that she could see his sincerity. "I'm sorry, momma. We're going to find them, I promise. Okay?"

Nodding and swiping at her tears, Garcia responded. "O-okay."

"Good." Smiling now, Morgan stood straight again and put one arm protectively around her, rubbing circles on her back in a soothing manner. He opened his mouth to speak again but as his wondering eyes came to a stop on the opening doors of the elevator, his smile dropped and words failed him.

"Oh my god.." Garcia's eyes widened as she followed Morgan's gaze, stunned for a moment before she moved to head towards the elevator, a strong arm immediately stopping her.

With his hand on his gun, Morgan tentatively stepped towards Janette and Henry. Usually it would have taken him seconds to reach the unsub, gun drawn and a determination in his eyes, but the last thing that he wanted was to frighten the young boy. "Janette, put the boy down and raise your hands." His voice was low but firm.

The older woman stuttered. "I-I'm not go-"

"I said put him down now!" Morgan didn't wait for her to finish her sentence.

Afraid, Janette complied instantly, lowering Henry to the ground. As soon as the little boy's feet hit the floor, he ran over to Garcia, jumping up into her arms.

"Henry, are you okay? Did she hurt you?" Garcia spoke frantically as she checked the boy over for any indications that he was injured.

"Nuh-uh. We ate cookies and ice-cream! And she let me watch the TV when I was posta be sleeping!" The small boy smiled innocently, seemingly unaware of the seriousness of the situation and his brow furrowed when he noticed the expression on Garcia's face before she pulled him into her chest. _Why is Aunt Penny so sad?_ "Aunt Penny.. what is Uncle Derek doing to the nice lady?" He spoke again as the sight of Morgan distracted him.

The dark agent twisted Janette's arm behind her unapologetically before reaching to his belt for his cuffs and slamming them on her wrists. "I swear to god, if you've harmed even one hair on that boy's head.." He trailed off, his threat lingering in the air.

"I-I wouldn't. I didn't." Janette stuttered again, seemingly afraid.

"Save it."

**CM-CM-CM**

Rossi, Reid, and Emily made their way down from the conference room as soon as they heard Morgan yell, Hotch appearing from his office for the same reason - their eyes widening in unison as they saw the dark agent slap cuffs on Janette, their bodies relaxing considerably as they noticed a small blonde boy now cradled in Garcia's arms.

Hotch assisted Morgan with Janette whilst the rest of the team, Emily in particular, fussed over the now safe little boy. Her heart soared the moment she realised that he was perfectly fine and she wrapped her arms tightly around him; but she soon fell back to earth with a bump as one thought ran through her mind, _It should be JJ's arms that he's wrapped up in_.

"Emily, Rossi, Reid, I want you all in here for this." Hotch called behind him as he walked away.

Looking up at Garcia, Emily silently asked a question as she rubbed circles against Henry's back. And the redhead responded with a nod, recognising the look for what it was.

"Henry, sweetie, what say we get you a snack? And then, just maybe, we'll be able to find some cartoons for you to watch." Garcia crouched to Henry's level and spoke excitedly.

The small boy turned his head from Emily's chest. "Can I go for a ride in your spinny chair?"

Both Emily and Garcia laughed, the redhead reaching out her arms for Henry to climb into. "Course you can, buster." Garcia nodded, casting a reassuring smile in Emily's direction before she walked away.

If Garcia had ever had any question about her theories on Emily and JJ's relationship, they were dispelled in the moment that she saw the brunette's interactions with the boy. Of course, they were all relieved to see that he was safe, but there was something different about Emily. She'd always kept a distance from Henry – for reasons that Garcia was unsure of – but in the moment that Emily had wrapped him up in her arms and clung onto him like a life line, it was almost like he was the brunette's child; almost like Emily was the worried mother, relieved to have her son back home safe.

**CM-CM-CM**

"It's about time you start talking, Watson." Morgan paced around the table of the interrogation room, his eyes staring down at the frail woman sitting at it.

"I-I.. I.." Janette began, her chest heaving suddenly.

"She's having a panic attack." Emily spoke from the opposite side of the two way mirror, immediately making her way into the room and sitting beside the older woman. "It's okay." She soothed. "Just take slow, deep breaths." She herself mimicked the breaths that she wanted Janette to take whilst keeping a steady eye contact, and soon enough the woman's breathing returned to normal. "We just need to ask you some questions. You did the right thing in bringing Henry home to us, but we need to know more."

The old woman nodded in agreement.

Opting to act under the pretense that Percy was still alive – with the logic that JJ may have forced information from the old man and headed to the location that Henry was _supposed_ to be, as well as to catch Janette out on any lies that she might feel the need to tell – Emily spoke again. "We need to know where Percy is now, Janette."

"W-what do you mean?" The old woman seemed genuinely confused by Emily's question.

"Janette.. Percy left the prison 14 hours ago with one of our agents." Emily cocked her head to the side, finding nothing but truth in the older woman's features.

Her eyes widened at Emily's revelation. "Not Jennifer?"

Emily looked to Morgan and then back to Janette. Perhaps they had gotten this all wrong. Yesterday, they were certain that Janette was Percy's accomplice, and now it seemed that he'd played her just as much as the rest of them.

Janette read the look on the agent's faces for what it was. "Oh no, that poor girl.. You have to find her. You have to find her!"

"We're trying to, Janette." Emily spoke calmly. "Can you tell me how you know about her?"

Shifting nervously in her seat and looking down at her hands, Janette responded. "He wanted some information on her. He said that she was an agent that was helping to prove his innocence and he wanted to know if he could trust her." The older woman looked up to Emily, nerves evident on her face.

"It's okay, go on." The brunette agent encouraged.

"So I gathered up as much as I could and took it with me the next time I visited. I really thought he was telling the truth! But then when he read that she had a son, he changed. I saw a look in his eye that I'd only seen.." Janette purposely trailed off and didn't bother to finish her thought. "I knew that if I didn't take the boy, he'd just have someone else do it. And I couldn't let him hurt another child, not after what he did to.."

Emily's brow furrowed as she read the older woman's second silence for what it was. "Janette, you had a son didn't you?"

A small nod came from the shaking woman, a pain in her eyes that Emily recognised – it was the same pain that she'd seen portrayed in JJ's once bright, blue orbs the day previous.

"If your son was one of his victims, why didn't we know about it? His name isn't on the list." Morgan interrupted; refusing to fall for what he believed was simply an act.

Shaking her head, her tears began to flow freely down her cheeks. "No you wouldn't. It was written off as an accident, a tragic accident. But I knew different. He was clever kid, far too clever for a three year old and he knew that he wasn't to touch anything sharp, especially in the kitchen!" Janette's silent tears turned to audible sobs. "I had to work, I had no choice but to leave him with Percy when my babysitter cancelled but.." Her sobs wracked her body, rendering her speechless.

"Shh.. it's okay." Emily soothed, rubbing circles against the old woman's back. "So you took Henry to keep him safe?" Seeing a small nod of the older woman's head, Emily continued. "What did Percy want with Henry?"

"I don't know. He started asking for more information, everything I could find, and the more I brought, the more I saw that glimmer in his eye." Janette paused again, guilt clearly evident on her face as she fought to justify herself. "He just kept saying that the boy was his ticket out of prison and at that point I still didn't know who Jennifer was. I still believed that she was simply an agent working on getting him out, and I thought he was going to use him to ensure that she did everything she could to help him. But I couldn't let that happen, I couldn't allow him to be released so I did as he told me but I left evidence."

"If you didn't know who Jennifer was, why did you leave the ribbon?" Emily was finding holes in Janette's story.

"He told me to. He said that it was a message for her." She looked up from her fumbling hands once again. "I left the fingerprints because I wanted you to figure it all out, but it didn't make sense to me why he would want to risk being caught. So I did some research once I'd taken the boy and that's when I realised just who she was."

"This makes no sense. If you knew what he was up to, why didn't you just come to us? Why did you go along with it?" Morgan questioned, still playing bad cop – though, he wasn't really playing.

"I did! I came as soon as I realised who Jennifer was!" The old woman shook her head as she realised that she could have stopped all of this.

"Give it up Watson! You could have come to us long before this happened. You could have told the guards, or the local PD, or even contacted JJ herself and yet you chose to take Henry. Why?"

"Have you ever been so afraid of someone Agent Morgan? So afraid that almost all of your logic leaves your mind?" Janette spoke evenly, unknowingly touching a nerve with the tall agent.

"Morgan." Emily gestured her head in the direction of the door and rose to her feet, the dark agent following her. Once on the other side of the door, she spoke again, addressing the whole team. "I think she's telling the truth."

"You buy that?" Morgan spoke incredulously as he gestured his hand towards Janette through the two-way mirror.

"Yes, I do. Look at her." Emily stood directly in front of the mirror and folded her arms across her chest as she watched the sniffling woman on the other side of the glass. "I believe that she genuinely thought she was doing the right thing and I believe that the guilt of realising she could have stopped all of this is eating her alive right now." Turning to look at Morgan, she continued. "I also believe that she's going to help us find JJ, but if you keep forcing her into a panic attack we're going to get nothing out of her."

"Emily's right Morgan. You need to take a step back from this." Hotch knew that the whole case was a little close to home for Morgan given what had happened during his childhood, and he could see that it was hindering his ability to do the job. They had the best lead that they'd come across sat literally in front of them, and whilst Morgan's intentions were noble, he was ruining their only chance to find JJ. "I want Emily to go in there alone."

**CM-CM-CM**

Garcia rose to her feet the second that Emily walked into her lair. "What did she say? Does she know where JJ is?"

Emily's eyes flicked immediately to Henry as Garcia shot questions at her, and was grateful to see that he was sleeping. The last thing that the little boy needed was to realise that his mother was gone. Of course, they'd have to tell him sooner or later, but not until they had something solid. "No she doesn't. We interrogated her for three hours and honestly, I don't think she actually knows a great deal. She actually seemed relieved when we told her that the old guy was dead, grateful even."

"I don't get it.."

"She wasn't in on it Garcia. Well, not entirely." Emily whispered as she crouched down next to Henry, stroking his hair back gently before rising to her feet again. "She took Henry to keep him safe and she seemed genuinely surprised to find out that JJ was missing. She'd been back to JJ's house to return Henry and when she found she wasn't there she came here."

Garcia's brow furrowed. "How could she not have known?"

With a sigh, Emily flopped down on one of the chairs in the room. "It's a long story. Hotch wants to meet in the conference room in twenty to discuss the details, but she genuinely didn't know. Why would she go searching for JJ if she knew that Percy was already leading her on a wild goose chase? She knows as much as we do now."

Defeat washed through Garcia as she followed Emily's gaze to the sleeping boy. "What about him? I can take hi-"

"I wana take him." Emily interrupted. She didn't need to think about it before the words left her mouth – she just knew that she needed Henry close to her.

Garcia's eyes narrowed the tiniest bit at Emily's immediate request. Something about seeing the brunette react this way towards the small boy warmed her heart, and if she was honest, the older agent had more space to accommodate Henry anyway, so without saying so, she agreed. "Do you think she did it?"

Emily finally pulled her eyes away from Henry. She knew that Garcia wasn't talking about Janette anymore, and her memory rushed back to the body of Percy Watson laid out so unceremoniously on the ground. She hadn't allowed herself to think about it until that point, the indication of what he had done to JJ too much, but she couldn't ignore the facts. "I think.. she's our friend, and she deserves the opportunity to tell her own story."

Suddenly a gentle knock at the door interrupted the pair. "Hotch wants us." Morgan spoke as he pushed the door open, quietening his voice suddenly when he saw Henry asleep on the sofa.

It was too late though, and as the sound filtered through his sleepy mind, the small boy shifted on the sofa, panic setting in as his eyes adjusted to his surroundings. "Momma! I want my momma!"

Tears were now streaming down Henry's cheeks and Emily immediately rushed over to him, wrapping her arms around his small frame and holding him to her chest as she stood slowly. "It's okay honey, you're okay." She looked up to Morgan and Garcia, each one of them thinking the same thing.

_We want her home too, buddy.._

**CM-CM-CM**

"It seems that Percy's mother gave up Janette a couple of years before he was born, that's why she never came up on the system. Percy just turned up at her door one day, Janette assumes that their mother must have told him the truth." Hotch spoke, finishing up filling the whole group in on the details.

"Why did she visit him in prison if she genuinely thought that he murdered her son?" Rossi questioned.

"I think a small part of her thought that she'd get answers, that he'd finally admit to it one day." Emily spoke, empathy for the old woman clear in her voice. "I'm just glad that she did. If he'd gotten anyone else to take Henry then.." The brunette trailed off, unwilling to even consider the possibilities.

"Emily, I want him kept away from here. That means you are off this case completely." Hotch knew just how close her and JJ were now – there was, after all, a reason thathe was Unit Chief - and he also hadn't forgotten the brunette's own rogue moment that had resulted in her having to fake her own death. If he was right about his suspicions regarding their relationship, he couldn't justifiably allow Emily to work this case anymore. She was much more use at home with Henry – he may not have trusted her to not stray off the lawful path in order to get JJ back home, but he trusted her without a shadow of a doubt to do right by the small boy. "If I see either of you near this building before JJ is home, I will have your badge."

"Yes, sir." Emily nodded and quietly slipped out to relieve the young intern that was watching Henry, grateful to be able to get the young boy out of here.

"That is all for now. I don't want to see any of you until 8am tomorrow morning. We've got everything that we can from Janette, there is nothing else we can do today." Hotch knew his agents were sleep deprived, but even if they weren't, they had no path to follow. Their presence here would be futile and they were far better off using this time to sleep. "You will be contacted if anything new comes up, but otherwise I want you to get some rest. Oh and Morgan, I'd like to speak with you please."

**CM-CM-CM**

Morgan slinked into Hotch's office some time later; he knew exactly what he had been called in for.

"I realise that we're all tired, and that this case is taking it's toll on all of us." Hotch looked up from his papers for the first time since Morgan had entered the room. "Some of us more than others. But I don't appreciate being undermined in front of my team, and I don't want your personal issues affecting your ability to do the job again, am I making myself clear?"

It had been Garcia that had made him realise that he was out of line if he was honest, and he no longer had the desire to argue with Hotch. What mattered was that Henry was home safe, and hopefully JJ would be soon too. He still didn't agree with the decisions that his boss had made, but somehow it didn't seem important anymore - what was done, was done. "Yes, sir."

He didn't want to come across so cold – aside from anything else, he knew that Morgan's personal experience was one of the things that made him so good at his job – but he was their leader, and it was always him that had to be the heartless one, the one to put personal feelings aside and ensure that the job got done. "Good. Go home, get some rest. I will see you tomorrow."


	8. Chapter 8

**Author's Note:** R+R as always, people, and enjoy!

* * *

**_Chapter Eight; _Adjusting**

The material of her socks made it easy for her to shuffle effortlessly across the kitchen floor, a luxury that she was grateful for in her extremely overtired state. She had grown up as an only child and had never had children of her own, so nothing had prepared her for the restlessness that comes naturally from a child snatched from his routine. Three times Henry had awoken during the night, screaming at the top of his lungs for JJ, and all three times it had taken her an hour to comfort him enough for him to settle back into a semi-peaceful slumber.

She knew the little boys pain, and as she'd watched him drifting off to sleep each time, she had found herself wondering what was worse – the confusion that he felt at not knowing where his mother had gone, or the anguish that she herself felt at knowing that she may not be coming back. She remembered vividly when she herself was in JJ's position, cut off from the rest of her team – and she remembered clearer than that that death had been the only way she was able to return to where she belonged.

Needing the comfort as much as Henry did, she had climbed into the guest bed beside him, and spent the next few hours of the night with a loosely strewn foot draped over her head and a small drooling mouth against her arm. At least though, he was sleeping. At least, he was peaceful. At least, for a few hours, he wouldn't have to search for his mommy.

If only the same could be said for herself.

Peering through one eye, Emily lifted the carafe and poured the freshly brewed coffee into her mug. She raised the mug to her lips and moaned in satisfaction as the hot, rich liquid bathed her mouth. She wasn't certain that she'd ever appreciated coffee more than in that moment, but one niggling thought at the back of her mind pulled her from heaven. _I have **no** idea how I'm going to do this._

Henry had been with her for one night and she already felt that she'd failed JJ. How could she keep this up? And what if JJ never came back? How could she possibly do this long term? Nothing about her apartment was baby proof. It was true that Henry wasn't really a baby, but somehow that was worse – he was at that perfect age to be able to reach everything that he shouldn't, to be curious enough to dig through cabinets and drawers, but not wise enough to realise what was dangerous. She wasn't a mother, she didn't even have nieces or nephews – what did she know about taking care of a child?

The knock at the door ripped her from her thoughts, and she ran to open it immediately, afraid that the sound would wake the small boy sleeping in her guest room. She fought the urge to wrap her arms around Garcia as she opened the door and saw the redhead standing there, her arms full with two brown paper bags and a small backpack thrown over her shoulder.

"Morning, treacle." Garcia handed one of the bags over to Emily and followed her through to the kitchen before speaking again. "Don't take this wrong, but you look like hell."

Emily cocked her head to the side in a shrug, a small forced smile pulling at the corners of her lips as she tried to play down just how tired she really was. Garcia had offered to take Henry, and it had been her that had fought for her herself to take care of him – she didn't want the redhead thinking that she wasn't capable. "I'm doing just fine, Garcia. What's in the bags?"

"Just a few of Henry's clothes and favourite toys. I figured he could do with a few home comforts to keep him going until.." An awkward silence filled the room as Garcia trailed off, both women knowing exactly where she was going with her thought – and both knowing that honestly, neither of them really knew anything. "Um, I went grocery shopping too. I just picked up some of the things that I know he likes to eat when he stays at my place. And I got organic milk. JJ likes him to have it because he had some tummy problems when he was younger." Noticing the pain flicker across Emily's features, Garcia walked over and placed a hand against the taller woman's arm. "Oh sweetie, what's wrong? Are you missing JJ? Listen, I know the two of you were.. ya know-"

Emily's eyes widened. "What?"

"Emily, come on.. You were so close to this case, even closer than the rest of us. It doesn't take a genius to figure out why. Even though, ya know, I AM a genius." Garcia winked.

The brunette's shoulders slumped in acceptance. It wasn't like it even mattered now anyway – they had no idea where JJ was and any leads that they had had, had all reached a hopeless dead end. But that wasn't even why she felt defeated. She _did_ miss JJ, she _did_ want her back more than anything, but she also realised as Garcia bustled into her apartment that the redhead would be far better fitted to taking care of Henry. "It's not that Garcia. It's this." She gestured towards the groceries on the island in the centre of her kitchen. "I don't know what milk he can and can't have, I don't know what his favourite games are, I don't know what he likes to eat. If you hadn't showed up with this stuff he probably would have wound up with a sippy cup of Chivas and a grilled cheese for lunch. I don't know how to take care of a kid."

"He doesn't use a sippy cup anymore, he's old enough for a regular cup." The redhead spoke with mock seriousness.

Garcia's efforts to lighten the mood failed miserably as Emily rolled her eyes and slumped her shoulders further. "Thanks, Garcia."

"Let me tell you something, lady." Garcia pulled a reluctant Emily over to the sofa and forced her to sit beside her before looking her dead in the eye. "That little boy is JJ's entire world. She always thought that she had been weak after Will left. She didn't seem to recognise that she actually gained strength in his departure. She was always strong anyway, but as soon as she brought that child into the world she became untouchable – because nothing is stronger than her love for him."

Emily raised an eyebrow. "You're not making me feel better, Garcia."

"I'm not finished." The redhead shifted in her seat. "My point, Emily, is that JJ wouldn't let someone into her life if she thought for a second that that person wouldn't be good for her son. I've known her for a lot of years, and I know that after Will, she put up a shield around herself and Henry. She never even had one night stands, Emily. If she allowed you into her life romantically, and in-turn into Henry's, she must have a lot of trust in you. That's the very reason that I think he should be here with you instead of mine or Reid's place. Give yourself some credit honey, you don't realise how capable you really are."

Emily nodded her head and nibbled idly at her lower lip, tugging it into her mouth as she contemplated Garcia's words. She had been witness to JJ's change after Henry's birth and Will's departure, but she'd never actually thought of it that way. She had no idea what it was that JJ had seen in her to make her trust her, but she was glad that she had and in that moment, she vowed to never make the blonde question that trust, in any capacity.

"I have to get back. I told Hotch that I wouldn't be long." Rising to her feet, she kissed Emily's forehead before speaking again. "She'll be home before you know it, sweetie."

**CM-CM-CM**

A sharp breathe tore from her throat as her eyes flew open. Her hands were still gripping at the steering wheel of the car and the sunlight piercing through the windshield told her that she'd been out for a while. She winced as the burning in her cheek penetrated her foggy mind, the memory of what had caused such pain flooding back immediately, confirming that it hadn't been just a nightmare.

She stared; for a moment, perhaps longer, she just stared. There was nothing around her but trees, trees, and more trees, and she took a semblance of comfort from realising that she didn't actually know where she was. She approximated that she was about 60 miles outside of DC, but further than that, she genuinely didn't know.

Her foot hadn't left the accelerator as she sped out of the small area of woodland surrounding Percy's property, and the day had given way to night long before she had finally stopped, a sudden lack of gas being the only factor in her even stopping at all.

A small grunt of pain fell from her blood stained lips as she found strength to push open the car door, almost stumbling as she climbed out, the sunlight blinding her more than it had from the car.

She knew that she couldn't stay here, knew that every law enforcement officer in the state would be looking for her right now; which forced upon her a reality that, until this point, had refused to set in. How had everything gotten so messed up? She could have sworn that just 36 hours ago she was going about her simple yet perfectly happy life and now.. now she was trapped in some parallel universe where nothing made sense and everything hurt.

Reaching back into the car, a simple action that took far more effort than it should, she grabbed the keys from the ignition and moved around the vehicle to open the trunk. She always found it surprising how much they were able to fit into the trunk of a police car, but she was more grateful than anything else as she rooted through the items to find anything that she could use to sustain herself whilst she figured out a plan. She pulled out a bottle of water, first using it's contents to swill the blood from her mouth before downing almost the rest of the bottle. Next she found a police issue jacket – it was unseasonably warm out today but she knew that that wouldn't last, and she draped the black garment over the open trunk before rifling through the rest of the items.

Having dug through everything in sight, she grabbed a bag, emptying it of the rifles that she was sure that she didn't want to use – she wasn't certain that she'd use any gun ever again after yesterday - before filling it with the supplies that she had commandeered and dropping it to the ground. There was nothing inconspicuous about the giant words across the back of the black jacket that she'd found – she felt pretty certain that she'd be found in a second if she walked around with the name of the prison written across her back – so she improvised, turning it inside out before tugging it with difficulty over her small frame. Picking up the bag from the dirt, she tossed it over her shoulder, ready to go as it suddenly dawned on her. _Where the hell am I going?_

**CM-CM-CM**

"How are they?" Hotch asked, genuinely concerned, as Garcia bustled into the conference room.

"They're doing fine, Sir." The redhead began as she took a seat beside Morgan. "I think it's gona take some adjusting, but hopefully it won't be permanent." Garcia's eyes widened a little as she realised the implications of what she had just said. "I mean, not that Emily isn't capable, I just mean hopefully.."

"She'll be home before you know it, Garcia." Hotch spoke gently and Garcia felt grateful for the comfort, even if she did know that it may not be wholly truthful.

The redhead hadn't fully allowed herself to register the fact that JJ was gone, and had instead thrown herself into helping Emily with Henry whilst playing ignorance to the very real possibility that the blonde may never come home to them. It wasn't that she didn't care, far from it – it was because she _did_ care, almost as though her own sister had disappeared, but the longing and ache in her chest each time that she ventured into those real possibilities were too much to bare; and so she had decided to focus her energy on something more productive, and conducive to ensuring that everything ran smoothly in JJ's absence. But as Hotch had spoken the same words that she'd used on Emily just forty minutes prior, she realised how much she had needed to hear them.

"So what are we gona do to ensure that happens?" Morgan spoke the question burning at everybody's lips. "Do we follow the same procedure we would with an unsub? Ya know, press conferences, a profile? Or.. what?"

"We may not need to. Look." Hotch placed a newspaper in the middle of the round table for his agent's to see before he spoke again. "JJ wouldn't have left if she knew that Henry was okay, even if she does think that she's facing time in jail. Which leads me to believe that Percy convinced her otherwise. I'm hoping that as soon as she sees this she will come home."

"She wasn't really in her right mind though, Aaron. After what she went through, she couldn't have been." Rossi spoke honestly. "And what if this has a backward effect? We all know that that boy is her life, maybe she'll think it's better if he never sees her again, especially if she genuinely does believe that she's going to jail."

"We should do a press conference, get word out to her that she's not in any trouble and that we just need her to come home." Morgan spoke logically.

Shaking his head slowly, Hotch looked away for a moment. The option had crossed his own mind, but it had been shut down instantly when he remembered that he couldn't actually promise JJ that. Strauss was on the warpath, and he knew too well that if she could wrap this up in a nice little bundle – throw JJ in jail and make an example of her – she would. "We can't do that. I can't promise her that she's not in any trouble."

"What, wait.." Garcia looked up as soon as Hotch spoke. She had just assumed that JJ really _wasn't_ in any trouble. They all knew that Percy had been killed in self-defense – they'd known JJ long enough to know that she wouldn't hurt a fly if she didn't have to – so why would she be facing any kind of trouble? It had been her assumption that JJ had simply needed time to gather her thoughts rather than that she was on the run – or maybe she hadn't allowed herself to think farther than that. "Why would she be in any trouble, Sir?"

"That man raped her, and now she's the one facing jail time?" Morgan spoke, incredulous.

"I don't know that. I just know that even if she does come home, it isn't going to be as simple as everything just falling back into normalcy. It doesn't matter what we know, she kidnapped a man, and then shot and killed him with no witnesses. The prosecution is gona have a field day with that."

"Hotch, what prosecution? We shouldn't even be discussing this. Even Strauss knows that JJ is no killer." Morgan spoke as calmly as he could – he knew that this wasn't Hotch's call and he could see that his boss was struggling to come to terms with it as much as the rest of them.

"She probably does," Hotch nodded, "but the facts are the facts, and the fact alone that the press are already running with this is just making it worse. The more we can keep this out of the news the better. This," He gestured towards the newspaper. "is already out there, and I do genuinely think that it may be a blessing in disguise. But there will be no press conference. We need to do this subtly. Strauss has given us a little time to investigate this ourselves, and as long as we seem to be making progress and keep her and the Bureau out of the press, it will stay that way."

"So what _are_ we gona do?" Reid finally spoke.

"Garcia, I'd like you to keep an eye on JJ's cell. Obviously it's no use until she turns it on, but it's something." Hotch ordered and received a quick nod from the redhead before he spoke again. "I've also notified several friends that I have in law enforcement across the surrounding states of JJ's description. If anyone turns up that is remotely a match, we will be the first to know."

"And if that doesn't work?" Morgan questioned.

"Then we'll have no choice but to hand this back to Strauss and allow the higher-ups to do their own investigation. But we can't let it come to that. I don't believe for a second that she wouldn't feed JJ to the lions if she had the chance."

"So.. you want us to just carry on like JJ isn't gone?" Morgan asked, his calm wearing thin. A part of him understood, but the majority of him didn't really want to. He simply couldn't wrap his head around the fact that his friend was gone, and that they were to continue on with their life like normal.

Nodding his head slowly, Hotch finally took a seat with his team at the round table and clasped his hands together in front of him. Looking around at each of their eager faces, he knew instantly that it would be a waste of his breath to even suggest that they continue on like normal – their dedication was why each of them had their job in the first place, and right now, it was also the reason that he opted to forgo any kind of rules and limits. "Anything you do, goes through me first, do you understand? We're on thin ice as it is, I can't afford for one of you to play hero. We'll get JJ back, but we need to do it as a team."


	9. Chapter 9

**Author's Note:** This chapter is fairly long; so you can forgive me for how short the previous one was, right? ;)

* * *

**_Chapter Nine; _Don't Let Go**

_3 Weeks Later_

Emily made her way downstairs, a slow cautiousness to her step that was the result of twenty-two days with the tiny human that was currently resting happily on her hip, his little arms thrown loosely over her shoulders.

It had taken almost two weeks for Henry to sleep fully during the night. She had kept him in her bed for the first week or so, but when he finally started settling, and it became more and more likely that JJ may not be returning any time soon, she had decided to get him into a real routine. Besides, she needed her own bed back; she liked to sprawl and somehow a tiny four year old wasn't very conducive to this.

He had started back at day-care after 10 days for half days – his reluctance to wake up in the morning for this being another major factor in her decision to create a stable environment for him. She had no clue what was going on, but keeping him out of a routine until they'd figured it out wasn't going to help him any.

And after five days, she had actually made him laugh. For one tiny moment, as she stubbed her toe on the corner of her kitchen island, he had forgotten that his 'momma' was gone. She had realised in this moment that it was going to take more than stability to ensure that he had a normal life, it was going to take her lightening up too. She wasn't the only one who missed JJ, and whilst she was easily hiding her concern from her team, she had to remember that children are far smarter than anyone ever gives them credit for. If she wanted him to be a happy child again, she had to be a happy Emily – and for the moment that he had giggled at her clumsiness, she actually was. So she ran with it, and before a week was out, she had been an aeroplane, a Henry-chasing-swamp-monster, a truck-smashing extraordinaire, and more times than she could count, she had "accidentally" injured herself.

They were doing well.

Placing him on the sofa, she turned to head to the kitchen to make his breakfast, but was stopped by a small voice and bright blue eyes staring up at her. "Emmy, you didn't do it right."

The brunette smiled down at the boy, realising immediately what she had forgotten. "Oh no. Well we better fix that right away." She lifted him up easily before laying one arm under his chest, the other supporting his legs so that he laid flat, effectively floating in the air. "Are you ready?"

The small boy grinned excitedly, his reply instant. "Ready!"

"Neeeeeoooowwwnnn!" The brunette mimicked the universal sound of a plane as she turned full circle several times, Henry's giggles warming her heart and spurring her on as she made her way around the coffee table and back to the sofa before tossing him down against the cushions. "Better?"

Recovering from his fits of laughter, the little boy pushed himself up and brushed his blonde hair from his face before replying with a nod. "Better!"

_My god, he's the double of his mother._ Emily's heart clenched in her chest as she looked down at the small boy, both a comforting warmth and some kind of pain humming throughout her body as he beamed up at her. Mentally shaking her head, she spoke again. "Good. Now, what does my favourite little guy want for breakfast? Pancakes or cereal?"

Henry seemed to deliberate this for a while, his eyes narrowing and his mouth contorting before he yelled his decision. "Cereal! The one with the little shmellows in!"

She would have corrected him if she wasn't so in love with his attempts at saying marshmallows. So instead she smiled and made her way into the kitchen for his breakfast and her caffeine fix. Over the past three weeks, she had come to realise just why it was that JJ drank so much coffee – there was no possible way to take care of a four year old, work a full time job, and still be alive without it. It was true that since Henry had started back at daycare and she was now back at work under the condition that she left this particular case alone, Hotch had allowed her to only do half days at the office and step down from out of town cases, but still.

Returning to the living room, Emily set the small bowl of Lucky Charms onto the coffee table and flicked on Sesame Street for Henry before making her way to her office that was situated just off of the lounge to begin the same routine that she had acted out every day since JJ had disappeared.

_You've reached Jennifer Jareau. I'm unable to take your call right now, but if you leave a message I will get back to you as soon as I can. _

JJ's professional voice filtered through the small speaker of Emily's phone just like she had expected it to - just like it had every single day for weeks - but somehow disappointment still made it's presence known deep in her gut. A part of her still hoped, after all this time, that one morning the blonde _would_ answer her phone, that she would reappear back in their lives like she had never been gone. It was because of this still present hope that her gut was currently churning, but she couldn't stop trying. No part of her was ready to admit that JJ was gone forever, that she may dead, that Henry would grow up never really knowing her. Perhaps she'd never be ready for that.

Using her clearance with the FBI, Emily proceeded to spend the next twenty minutes filtering through the files of 'Jane Does' found recently in DC and the surrounding areas; a stronger sense of hope replacing her disappointment when her search came up short once again. She knew that the team would immediately be informed if anyone matching JJ's description was found - dead or alive - but that didn't stop her searching, every morning without fail. The small boy currently spilling milk all over her expensive coffee table was depending on her, and it'd be a cold day in hell before she gave up, however hopeless her efforts constantly proved themselves to be.

"Emmy! I made a mess!" Henry's voice startled her right on cue, and with an unconscious smile adorning her face, the brunette closed her laptop and made her way back to the lounge, a renewed sense of reasoning in her every step.

**CM-CM-CM**

"He's seems pretty happy." Garcia mused as she watched the little boy push his truck across the length of her living room. It had become somewhat of a ritual for Emily and Henry to pay the redhead a visit each evening after the brunette had picked him up from day-care; sometimes Hotch would stop by with Jack too, or Reid, Morgan or Rossi would drop in to spend some time with the small boy. Henry seemed to enjoy the short visits, and for everyone else, it was a chance to clutch at some kind of normality. JJ was one constant in their mind each and every day, and seeing Henry eased the fact that they could do nothing about her disappearance. Well, nothing that seemed to be making a difference, anyway.

Taking a sip of her coffee, Emily replied. "I know. It's kind of sad really. I mean, it isn't, but it is." Flicking her eyes to Garcia's, a seriousness gracing her features, she spoke again. "What if he's forgotten her Garcia? I wana tell him about her, just talk about her, but I'm afraid that will hurt him more. It may not be a bad thing if he's forgotten her. I mean.. what if we never find her?"

"I don't think he's forgotten her, sweetie. I think he's just.. happy. I think he trusts you just as much as she does."

Emily smiled and took another sip of her coffee. She liked that he was happy, that she wasn't doing everything wrong, but she couldn't shake the guilt that she felt.

"August 13th!" Garcia almost spat, like an over-filled balloon, well beyond it's bursting limits.

Emily almost choked on her coffee and her eyes widened at her friends sudden outburst. _Has she finally lost it?_ "Do I wanna ask?"

"That's when it happened." Garcia's smile faded into contemplation as she raised her eyes to the ceiling and reeled off her thoughts. "It took me a while to figure it out, but I feel pretty darn certain that I'm right." She flicked her eyes back to Emily with a grin. "I'm right, aren't I? Tell me I'm right!"

Laughing, Emily placed her mug back to the kitchen island and shook her head. "Garcia, I love you, but I absolutely, 100%, completely and utterly.. have no clue what you're talking about. Therefore making it entirely impossible for me to accurately tell you whether you're wrong or right."

"That was the magical night that two pretty ladies became one." Garcia's gaze trailed off again. "We went to La Bella for dinner, except Reid didn't because somehow he managed to contract Henry's cold and so he babysat. But the rest of us did! It was difficult for me to pinpoint at first-" Garcia cocked her head to the side and raised an eyebrow at Emily, "because you damn profilers are so sneaky. But then I remembered the smile on JJ's face the next day. You guys left instantly for a case and it got lost in the midst of blood and death, but I definitely remember that smile being there."

Emily's smile had fallen the second that Garcia had spoken the first sentence of her unconstrained ramble, her mind drifting to a place that both split her heart directly down the centre and sewed it back up all at the same time.

"_Thank you." JJ smiled from the passenger seat, it's warmth filling the large car much better than the heat that Emily had just turned on._

"_You, my dear, are very welcome." Emily spoke before clipping her seat belt into the allotted slot__, assuming that the gratitude was for the ride that she had happily agreed to give JJ to the restaurant_. She reached out naturally to turn the key in the ignition and stopped as she felt a small hand against her arm.

"_I mean it, Emily." JJ's smile faded slowly from her face as she shook her head and looked away._

_Removing her hand from the ignition, Emily turned to face JJ as much as her seat belt would allow once she saw something in the blonde's eyes that she didn't recognise. "Sweetie, what's wrong?"_

_When JJ returned her gaze to meet Emily's, tears were brimming clearly at her bright blue eyes, threatening to spill over with every silent second that passed between the two._

"_Oh, Jayje, what is it?" Emily had unbuckled her belt now, was turned fully to face the younger woman and had her left hand hovering inches from the smaller woman's form in the protective yet somewhat nervous gesture that always seemed to appear when JJ was down or hurting._

_Her eyes fixed on Emily's hovering hands, JJ spoke. "This."_

_Emily was confused, but she instantly pulled her hands away once she realised where JJ's eyes had settled and rattled off an uncertain apology. "I-I'm sorry, JJ. I didn't.."_

"_No I.." JJ swiped at her tears, frustrated with herself for not only having no clue as to how to explain herself, but for somehow making Emily feel that she had done something wrong in the process. Taking a deep breath, she finally spoke. There was no chance of backing out now anyway, and she honestly couldn't think of any other way to show Emily that she really hadn't done anything wrong. "You have this way of protecting me from a distance, of taking care of me without prying, of being such a huge part of my life without actually really being a part of it at all."_

_Emily was beyond confused, her mind running through everything that she had ever done since she'd met JJ, desperately searching for something that may have been construed in a way different than it was intended. "I'm not sure I understand, JJ." She spoke honestly._

"_Okay." With a further deep breath, she swiped at her tears, fixed on a smile and waved goodbye to the sudden courage that she had found. "We should go, the table's reserved for seven and I don't want to keep everyone waiting."_

_For the brunette, this was literally a 'did that just happen?' moment. She knew that she'd missed something but she wasn't sure if that was because she was being blind, or because JJ had wanted her to miss the point. Her brow visibly furrowed as she stared at JJ's profile, attempting to read the expressions that formed there – an empty stare, vacant eyes, emotionless face. It was clear that JJ was deep in thought about something, and at the same time attempting to pretend that she wasn't. And if she was putting that much effort into pretending that the previous conversation hadn't taken place, who was Emily to force otherwise? Clicking her seat belt back into the lock, she turned the key in the ignition and pulled out of the driveway._

"Of course, that smile wasn't enough to make four, so I had to dig a little deeper. And I remembered that she seemed a little upset once you guys _finally_ made it to the restaurant, a little distant." Garcia continued with her ramble whilst Emily stared blankly. "A little distant with you especially. But still, that wasn't enough for me to come to my conclusions, I needed more. Then something hit me.. JJ took a cab home!" The redhead grinned at Emily proudly, like her final sentence was suddenly the most obvious thing in the world.

After a further moment of simply staring, her face visibly showing her amazement, Emily finally spoke. "What?"

Shaking her head, seemingly unable to understand how Emily hadn't quite caught the gist of her clarity, she elaborated. "You picked her up, right? And you didn't drink, so why didn't you take her home? She took a cab, did she not? Now why would she do that Emily?"

"Um.. because she wanted to?" Emily went back to her coffee, her demeanour now showing nothing of what she was actually feeling but instead a nonchalance to the conversation that she hoped would be enough to silence Garcia.

_The ten minute ride to the restaurant was spent in deafening silence. Emily's mind spun as she meandered through the early evening DC traffic, only mildly paying attention to stop lights. There was something about what JJ had said that had lingered with her, and now she was furiously profiling herself in a backward manner that would hopefully bring some clarity to what it was that she had done wrong. The truth was, she knew that she did all of those things – her instant response to anything was to protect JJ, but at the same time she wanted, needed to keep her distance; she was always there as a silent comfort when JJ was upset, but would never ask too many questions; she kept one giant step away from JJ's personal life, but could tell you any tiny, little detail about her if anyone was to ask – and she did all of it because of what she had thought to be well compartmentalised, more than platonic feelings. _

_**Does she know?**__ Emily swerved suddenly as a Scion pulled out of nowhere and directly into their path, her heart hammering in her chest as she came back to Earth with a screech of tyres and a small hand gripping fiercely at her thigh. __**Shit!**__ "JJ are you okay?" Emily flicked her eyes frantically between the road and the blonde that was now loosening her grip on her leg, and then to her own hand, the one hovering inches from JJ that had instinctively shot out in a protective manner the moment that she swerved the car._

_JJ kept her eyes forward. If it wasn't for her chest that was heaving a little more than normal and the hand that had found it's way to Emily in a second, you wouldn't have even been able to tell that they'd just nearly crashed head on into another car. "I'm fine, Emily."_

"Oh come on Emily.. That's seriously all I get?" Garcia pouted. "I already know that you're in a relationship, why don't I get to know when it started?"

"Were, Garcia. We _were_ in a relationship." Emily rose from her seat, her anger clearly evident, before scooping up Henry and leaving the apartment.

**CM-CM-CM**

"Sleep well, buddy." Emily spoke softly as she pressed a gentle kiss to Henry's head before quietly leaving the room.

She was tired, exhausted even, and her feet led her mindlessly to her bedroom where she unceremoniously flopped down onto the bed. Her face buried itself into the silk duvet and only came up when the need for oxygen won over. Turning onto her back, she stared up at the ceiling, her attempts to tether her tormenting and wondering mind failing instantly.

"_Hey guys." Emily smiled, fully aware that she was now in very close proximity to three of the world's best profilers and one of the world's best gossip queens._

"_About time." Garcia returned her smile and rose to her feet. "I'm gona go let that waiter know we're ready."_

"_You mean you're gona corner him?" Morgan laughed._

"_Oh honey, you know I only have eyes for you." Garcia blew a kiss to the dark agent before scurrying off in search of the waiter._

"_So what took so long, Prentiss?" Morgan turned to Emily, a smile still present on his face from his banter with Garcia._

"_Traffic." JJ spoke for Emily as she took a seat next to where Garcia had just been seated._

_To the rest of the team, hopefully, there was nothing out of the ordinary, but the abrupt cut off accompanied by the blonde's slight shift to the right as Emily sat in the empty spot to the left of her told the brunette that things were far from ordinary, far from okay. She was hurt, quite honestly. Even if JJ had figured it out, had suddenly realised the feelings that Emily harboured for her; this was a reaction that was far from okay. It wasn't like she'd tried anything with her - very far from it, actually. Aside from that, why had JJ been completely okay with her just moments before her walls went up and a vacant look replaced emotion-filled eyes?_

_Emily spent the rest of the meal in two separate worlds – the one in which she was having a rare night out with her colleagues, her family, and the one in her mind where she was questioning everything that JJ said and did, where she was questioning every movement that she herself made in case it caused the blonde to seemingly cower away once again. And as the younger woman left to hail a cab, Emily had let her. With a suddenly heavy heart and a tangled mess of a mind, she had let her._

_She felt the emptiness of her car as she made the drive back to her apartment, her eyes drifting every so often to the vacant seat beside her that JJ had occupied just three hours before. She hit a junction and stopped, her brain telling her to turn one way, her heart telling her to turn another. But what good would it do to turn up outside JJ's door when the blonde had spent the entire night itching to get away from her? With that last thought in mind, she had slammed her foot down on the accelerator and sped off in the direction of her apartment._

Pushing herself up heavily, Emily allowed her feet to slide her mindlessly to her en suite bathroom to conduct her typical night time ritual. She pulled on her dark grey sweat pants and white tank top that hung on the back of the door, before turning to the sink to brush her teeth, her eyes meeting themselves in the small mirror that hung above it. _I look like death_, she thought to herself as she ran a strong hand across the length of her face, reveling momentarily in the pressure that this seemed to relieve, before finishing what she was there to do and leaving the bathroom to crawl into bed.

The spot beside her felt empty, cold, and she found herself missing the small boy that was less than 50 feet away. She considered for a moment, bringing him into her bed, but she reminded herself that he was in his own bed for a reason, and her own selfish reasons didn't trump that. It was pretty much at that point that it dawned on Emily that in the short time that they had been dating, she hadn't once shared a bed with JJ. They had made love in this bed, but JJ had left soon after, and the night that Henry had been taken would have been the first night that either would have slept over.

Emily groaned and rolled onto her side as more memories attacked and soothed her senses – she wasn't certain anymore if it hurt or if it helped to think of JJ, but she didn't have a great deal of choice in the matter anyway.

_Years of experience was what pushed her to naturally reach for her gun as a gentle clatter came from her front door. It was past eleven and anyone trying to reach her at this time was either baring something of great importance or intending to do her harm. As she peeked through the peephole and saw JJ standing there, she still wasn't certain which option it was._

"_JJ.." Her hands went out naturally in the protective gesture that she had become accustomed to over the years, and she pulled them back immediately when she became aware of what she was doing._

_JJ eyed the hands in front of her, lifting her gaze to Emily's and raising an eyebrow as soon as they were pulled away. "Can I come in?"_

_Her voice was calm and somehow not as cold, but even if it was, there still would have been no question of Emily allowing her into her apartment. "Sure.." She stood aside, her hand gesturing out for the blonde to enter, before she closed the door and followed the younger woman into the lounge._

_The brunette almost ran straight into her as JJ turned suddenly. "I.. Ya see, the thing.. It's just that.." JJ's ramblings stopped as her eyes fell suddenly on slightly parted lips, and before she could stop herself, her own met them in a kiss that she was certain would leave a bruise._

_Emily kissed back instantly, her heart running the show, but her held out arms showed that her mind wasn't far behind; and within a few seconds it stole the limelight, forcing strong hands to come down against the blonde's arms, hesitatingly momentarily before pushing her away. Her eyes stared JJ down – she wanted to ask questions, but she didn't know just what questions she wanted to ask, what answers she was looking for._

_Blues eyes locked with brown, the younger woman's mind busying also as she tried to search the brunette's face for a sign, a silent gesture to paint the pictures that her non-existent words weren't. Finding nothing but confusion and what seemed to be a hint of anger there, JJ finally spoke. "Oh god, Emily. I got it wrong." She shrugged the strong hands from her arms and took a step back. "I guess I thought if.. I guess I.."_

_Shaking her head and closing her eyes, Emily searched for something, anything to say. "JJ, you don't need to say anything. I know that you've not really seen anyone since Will and so I know-"_

"_Don't you dare say what I think you're going to say." JJ's voice was firm and strong now. "I am not here to scratch some itch because I haven't had sex in.." She trailed off, rolling her eyes and bringing one hand to her forehead, the other to her hip, before using the one against her head in a gesture to stop and turning to leave. "You know what.. forget it, Emily."_

_Emily grabbed JJ's arm in a grip that threatened to never let go. "Then why **are**_ _you here?" _

_JJ's eyes fixed them self on the hand locked tightly against her arm before flicking to meet brown eyes that seemed to be a whole shade darker now. "It's nice to see that you're finally touching me, Emily.." Her words were whispered but sincere and honest. Emily moved to let go instantly, but JJ stopped her. "Don't let go." She moved until she was inches from the brunette, keeping her hand against Emily's as she did, her next word nothing more than a heated whisper. "Don't."_

_A gentle whimper fell from Emily's lips as her grip on the blonde's arm grew tighter. Her mind was at war with itself; she needed answers, needed to know what was going on, but more than that, she needed her lips against JJ's again._

"_I'm not going to break, Emily." JJ stepped in even closer, pulling Emily's free hand up and pressing it firmly against her hip. "I didn't get it wrong, did I?" Her eyes searched Emily's face for an answer, not expecting to get it verbally. _

"_No.." Her simple answer fell somewhere between a whisper and a growl as she placed her own pressure into her hands, pulling JJ to her as she forced her lips against the blonde's and backed her forcibly against the island in the centre of her kitchen._

_JJ whimpered deliciously as her back hit the hard lip of the counter top, her body visibly shaking as her hands roamed Emily's body in no logical pattern; searching, grasping, for anything to hold onto. Eventually her hands met the surface behind her and with the help of the brunette she lifted herself up onto it, thighs opening instantly to welcome the older woman between them. "Why?" The word fell from her lips with one of her uneven breaths as she pulled her lips from Emily's, only to be repeated again more firmly when she didn't get a verbal answer. "Why, Emily?"_

_The brunette's chest heaved as she pushed up the hem of JJ's skirt, allowing it to bunch at her hips and reveal toned thighs. "I.." She pulled her lips back from JJ's neck momentarily to answer, only to fall victim once again to the soft skin there mere moments later._

_The blonde's head fell back as she felt the brunette's hands so close to where she needed them, her lips burning against her pulse point as she mustered the mental and physical strength to still Emily's movements. "Emily, why?" She asked again, threading her hands through raven hair and pulling back roughly. "Why did you push me away? You had so many opportunities, why didn't you take them?"_

"_Because I'm not him."_

_The answer was simple yet profound, quiet yet Earth-moving, truthful yet questionable, and as it left Emily's lips, filtered through JJ's ears and nestled itself into her mind, she found some kind of peace that she didn't even realise that she was searching for. "Thank you." She spoke of gratitude, not for the first time that evening, and released the hold that she had on Emily's hair slightly before moving her lips to swollen ones just inches from her face._

_Everything was suddenly slow, and gentle, and exploratory without being invasive; a mere shadow of the scene that had unfolded just moments before. JJ's hands rested easily now around the brunette's neck, and Emily's slowly made their way further beneath JJ's dress before she broke their kiss and dropped her head. She was about to remove her hands before a small plea stopped her._

"_Emily, I want you. Please don't stop touching me. I've waited so long for you to touch me.. To stop your fumbling nervousness and hesitation each time you almost do, and just do it." JJ pressed her forehead to Emily's, her eyes closing as she felt fingers dip beneath her panties and slowly slide them down her legs._

_Emily's eyes remained closed, somehow afraid to open them. She knew, better than most, that sometimes experiencing that one thing that you crave the most for a moment isn't always worth it – because once it's gone, you will miss it far, far more than you ever wanted it in the first place. _

"_Emily, open your eyes." _

_The request was simple, and yet beyond difficult to oblige. But slowly, she did, her hands still sliding JJ's panties down further, millimetre by millimetre, before she released them; the lace garment hitting the floor unceremoniously and easily with a slight shift of the blonde's leg. Stepping back, Emily held out her hand for JJ to hop down from the counter and the younger woman took it without hesitation, their eye contact remaining as they moved towards the stairs. "I wanna show you. I would never tell you anything that I couldn't prove with my actions. So I wana show you."_

_Suddenly, JJ was nervous. She had initiated this, she had been the one to tell Emily not to stop, and now she was terrified; not because she was about to have sex with a woman - she had had many of those experimental phases that all girls seem to find in college - and not because she didn't want it. But because she realised just how much she did, just how much she wanted Emily, just how much power that gave to the brunette. But the gentle caress of Emily's fingers against her knuckles soothed her, and she followed almost blindly; both an overwhelming sense of safety and fear coursing through her veins all at once._

_As they reached the brunette's bedroom, Emily stopped them at the foot of the bed and her fingers danced along JJ's spine, stopping briefly as they met the zipper, before slowly making the journey back down. The blonde shivered as each tooth of the zip vibrated against her skin, skin that heated suddenly under the brunette's adoring gaze as the silk, blue garment fell to the floor much like her underwear had moments before. She was stood in front of a fully-clothed Emily in nothing but her heals, and yet somehow, she didn't feel exposed - she felt nothing but an overwhelming sense of safety. _

_Fingers danced slowly, exploringly, along the exposed skin of toned sides, goose bumps forming instantly across JJ's body as she whimpered into the touch. Her eyes held Emily's still, even as her lids fought to close, and her own fingers found their way beneath a fitted, purple shirt to skin softer than she could ever have imagined. Emily continued tracing lazy patterns down the blonde's sides, purposely brushing dangerously close to her breasts every now and then, as JJ splayed her fingers out across the brunette's taut abdomen, her eye lids finally winning out and falling shut as she felt thumbs brush over her already aching nipples._

_"You have no idea.." The blonde breathed through her lust-filled haze. "You have no idea how long I've waited for you to touch me. How long I've ached for this.."  
_

_JJ's breathing heavied considerably, falling unevenly from her lips with each purposeful movement as her own hands fell to Emily's belt, deftly unbuckling it. She worked easily on the brunette's button and zipper, releasing the trousers to fall to the ground much like she was falling into the sensations of the ministrations against her own body. Suddenly skilled fingers stopped, and she whimpered instantly, her eyes shooting open to find Emily removing her own shirt and stepping out of her pants, and as the brunette stood before her, in nothing but black lace underwear, the trade-off suddenly seemed worth it._

"_Lay down."_

Tears fell without permission down Emily's cheeks as she stared at a light on her wall, cast by the moon through her bedroom window. "Where are you JJ.."


	10. Chapter 10

**Author's Note:** I have added a further section to Chapter Eight (it's right at the end, so no reason to read anymore than that.) I never really included anything about the team; I guess I was too focused on Emily and JJ's point of view - so thank you to rmpcmfan for questioning that and bringing it to my attention. :)

**Author's Note 2:** Also, if there are any mistakes in the time frame, please let me know. This chapter was originally set six weeks after JJ disappeared, but I wanted to bring it forward. I think I managed to catch all of them, but if there are any that suddenly imply that she's been gone for six weeks, leave me a note in a review or PM me.

* * *

**_Chapter Ten;_ Reality Check**

_3 weeks and 3 days later_

"Shouldn't we tell Emily?" Reid's voice came quietly from the back seat of the SUV. It had been an hour since they'd gotten the call, and not one of them had yet seemed to have thought to tell the brunette. For all they knew, she was happily at home, none the wiser and he hated that they were keeping details from her. It wasn't that he was bad at keeping secrets, he just didn't want to. Emily was now, for all intents and purposes, Henry's guardian and she had gone miles out of her way to do right by the little boy in this sudden situation; didn't she have a right to know if there was a possibility that they'd found JJ?

"Not yet. We have to be sure first." Hotch spoke, his typical emotionless expression giving nothing away, but inside his mind was a convoluted mess. He had been the one to take the call, and as soon as he'd heard the words _'We've found a body matching the description that you gave us'_, his entire world had stopped spinning. It wasn't like he hadn't expected the call, but he'd been praying to every deity that might listen that it would never come. And now, even as he had been failed twice by these deities, he was still praying – praying that this body wouldn't be that of his missing agent and friend.

**CM-CM-CM**

"Oh buddy, you're meant to paint the paper.. not yourself." Emily laughed as she wiped the small boy's arms with a wash cloth.

Henry sat easily as Emily tried to clean the worst of the paint from his skin, a small satisfied grin on his face as he admired the remnants of his handiwork.

"I think someone needs a bath." The brunette threw the washcloth to the counter as she scooped Henry up in her arms, no concern for the small hand prints that she was certain were now plastered all over her designer shirt.

Her phone rang just as she turned for the stairs, and shifting the small boy further onto her hip, she reached across the counter-top to retrieve it, her heart shifting to her throat as the caller ID came into focus.

"Here sweetie," Emily lowered Henry to the ground, "why don't you go play with your truck for a moment, Emmy has to take this call."

She smiled as she watched the small boy run into the lounge, her concern for the paint that she knew was going to wind up on more than her shirt overshadowed by the buzzing phone in her hand. "Please tell me that you've got something for me."

**CM-CM-CM**

"What happens if it _is_ her?" Morgan questioned.

"I don't know. I guess we'd contact Will. We're technically breaking the law already having not contacted him since JJ's disappearance. We'll have no loopholes to cling to if this is.." Hotch trailed off.

"Guys, we shouldn't even be discussing this. How can we talk about her like she's dead when we don't know for sure that she is?"

"Alright, boy wonder. Calm down." Morgan spoke calmly, though the thought of Will strolling back into Henry's life and taking him away made him anything but calm. Will was no man – he had walked out of his child's life without a second thought, and it would be a cold day in hell before he would allow him that opportunity again. "Whatever happens, we'll find a way to keep Henry, even if we have to do shifts." The dark agent forced a smile, before turning back to face the road ahead, grateful when their destination suddenly came into view beyond a veil of trees.

The four agents pulled up outside of the morgue, their hearts collectively sat in their throats as they took the seven strides from the car to the entrance of the building. Whatever happened in here, they weren't walking out with anything positive – it was either JJ, or another dead end.

**CM-CM-CM**

Clyde Easter's voice was laced with concern as he spoke – he didn't want Emily to get her hopes up, but he also valued his life more than just not telling her at all. "That phone you've been tracking was turned on this morning. For no more than ten seconds Emily, so you have to remember that it could simply be a glitch in the software."

The brunette's mind raced instantly with the revelation and she ignored the concern that was clearly evident in her friend's voice. "Where?"

"Emily, I need to know that you're going to think about this rationally. I need you tell me now that you know there is a possibility that it may not be her." He wasn't oblivious to the brunette's tendency to throw herself into deep water without the life line of her team - Doyle had been a perfect example – and he also knew that she'd tell him anything to settle his mind if it meant that he'd hand over the information, but his request for acceptance to the condition was more of a psychological thing than anything else.

Emily sighed and ran a hand through her dark hair. She was tired, beyond tired, and she didn't have time for this – if Easter had something, she needed to know now; this mind game was only wasting even more precious time that they really didn't have. "Yes, Clyde. I know this. Now tell me where."

"It came from the DC area. We got two locations today, and one yesterday, each available for no longer than ten seconds each, and each located no more than half a mile apart."

"Yesterday!" Emily's voice was louder than she realised, as was evident in the face of the small boy that was now distracted from his truck and staring directly at her. She softened her voice and soothed the boy. "It's okay honey, Emmy didn't mean to frighten you. I'll be done in just a second."

"Emily, we had to be certain. I'm still _not _certain, and you shouldn't get ahead of yourself."

"Where was the last location?" Emily purposely ignored her friend once again, somewhat angry that he had wasted a whole day of their time.

Sighing audibly into the phone, Clyde reluctantly gave up the details – Emily was going to do this her way, no matter what he advised. "The last location was received 23 minutes ago, a restaurant downtown-"

"La Bella." Emily cut him off.

"Well.. yes. How did you know that?"

"We went there with the team. It was the same night that we first.." Emily trailed off as her memories haunted her. "Where were the other two locations?"

He was afraid of that answer. He knew that Emily was likely seeing patterns where there weren't any, but his years of working with the brunette told him easily that her stubbornness would always win over. "There was one near the Capitol and the one yesterday was basically nowhere. Just a park, also in the downtown area."

"She's trying to get my attention. Oh my god.. she's alive." Emily spoke gently, relief visibly evident on her stunned face as what she genuinely believed to be truth set in.

"Emily you don't-"

"Thanks Clyde!" Emily hung up the phone immediately and dashed to grab her keys and jacket when a small voice stopped her.

"Emmy where ya going?"

Her heart broke in two and she silently berated herself as she realised her mistake. She had gotten so wrapped up in the possibility of JJ coming home that she hadn't stopped to consider what she planned to do with Henry whilst she went off chasing ghosts. "Nowhere, silly." She smiled gently, hating herself for the lie that fell so easily from her lips.

Scooping the young boy up in her arms once again, she hugged him tightly to her chest – more for her comfort than his. She was running out of time; if JJ was at the restaurant only 25 minutes ago now, there was a chance that she may still be there, but how could she take Henry into an entirely uncertain situation? The easy answer was staring her right in the face – she had to call the team – but the darkness that she had seen in JJ's eyes the last time that she had seen her still burned into her mind, told her that perhaps that wasn't the best of plans. If she was right, JJ was trying to contact _her_, not the rest of the team, and if she knew JJ like she thought she did, there would be a good reason for that.

_10:56am, just over an hour 'til he has to be at daycare_, she thought. It would have to wait. Shifting Henry onto her hip, she spoke again. "Let's give you that bath."

**CM-CM-CM**

"Hi, I'm Agent Hotchner, we spoke on the phone." It wasn't lost on the Unit Chief as he stuck out his hand to greet the detective that this was JJ's role that he was stepping into – the irony almost choked him as he continued. He gestured with his hand towards the agent's behind them, introducing them to the detective; an auto-pilot formality that he pushed himself through whilst his heart tried to push from his own body and in the direction of the body laying cold in the next room. "This is Agent Rossi, Agent Morgan, and Dr. Reid."

"Nice to meet you." The detective shook each of the agent's hands in succession before speaking again, reading their faces for what it was. "But I don't think you came here for pleasantries."

"Could you tell us where you found her?" Morgan spoke immediately, as though the question had been choking him.

"Off of a dirt track, about a half mile from Ferriton Prison. She was found by a local photographer. He was out taking pictures for a company that has plans to build on the land when he noticed a person in his viewfinder sitting against a tree. I guess they have to request permission for that sort of thing to avoid any kind of sudden lawsuit, so he went over to do just that."

"Can we see her?" Rossi asked the question that was burning at everyone's lips.

"Of course. Follow me." The middle-aged detective lead the agent's through to a long, dark corridor that had a large square of light spilling out into it from a room at the far end.

Each of the agent's walked in silence, an irrational hatred for that light buzzing through their wildly intelligent minds, each genuinely uncertain of what they wished to find in it's glow.

**CM-CM-CM**

Emily stood at the glass window overlooking the large room and the crowd of children that Henry was happily swimming in. He'd wriggled out of her arms the second that he'd seen his friends and ran off without so much as a goodbye – a far cry from the first week that he'd been back at day-care, Emily remembered. She had had to pry him from her body in those first few days, and each time, she had come very close to turning right back around and taking him home with her. But now, he seemed fine, more than fine; nothing like a child that had been snatched from everything that he knew.

She smiled warmly as Henry ducked and dived through and around the other children as a small dark-haired boy chased him, grins beaming from each of their faces. It was overwhelming to see him so happy, and for just one moment, Emily felt pure happiness - no worry over the things that she couldn't control, no over-thinking over what may be; she simply felt content.

"Which one's yours?" A short brunette walked up and stood alongside Emily.

"Oh he's not-" Emily cut herself off – it would be far easier to just answer the question than to explain that Henry wasn't technically hers and just how it was that he came to be in her care. Besides, she kind of liked the idea of him being hers; of being JJ's _and_ hers. "He's the one that just crashed into the tray of milk cartons." Emily winced a little through smiling eyes.

"Oh, Henry LaMontagne?" The smaller woman asked.

Emily's heart clenched. She never had understood why JJ had given Henry Will's surname, but the reminder that she had slammed her right back into reality. This situation had been suddenly thrown upon her, but not only had she adapted wonderfully, she had actually found herself falling for the fantasy and nowhere in that scenario was Will LaMontagne Jr. "Yep, that's the one."

"But I thought his mother was Jennifer Jareau?" The young woman's brow furrowed in confusion.

"She is." Emily nodded slowly as she remembered the phone call that she had received this morning. What if JJ wasn't trying to get in touch with her? What if JJ was actually dead? This was all wrong in every sense of the word. How could she have fantasies about a simplistic family life with JJ, when JJ could be dead? "It's a long story. Listen, I have to go, but it was nice meeting you."

**CM-CM-CM**

Breaths had been collectively held as the coroner had reached over and pulled back the thin, blue sheet from the cold, lifeless body laid out before them, and each of the agent's hearts had sank with a velocity that made them want to vomit as the young woman came into view.

And now, as they wondered back into the BAU, as lifeless as the body that they'd just seen, each of the men remained wholly silent; a mark of respect as well as numbness that left them unable to form a logical and worthy sentence anyway.

Small nods were given as each of them parted ways, the desire and need to be alone with their own thoughts almost suffocating them. Morgan went in search of Garcia to give her the news; Hotch and Rossi each returned to their office; and Reid seated himself at his own desk, a sadness in his eyes that would break even the toughest of men.

**CM-CM-CM**

Her eyes scanned the room immediately as she walked through the glass double doors of the restaurant, searching for JJ or any indications that she had been there. Seeing nothing that jumped out at her, she pulled her phone from her pocket and stopped the nearest waiter. "Has this woman been in here?"

"No, ma'am." Looking closer at the phone, a small grin crept over the waiter's face. "Hey, wait.. isn't she the woman who murdered her own kid and then went on a killing spree?"

_Wow, the rumour mill has been working overtime_. "You'd do well to learn the facts rather than listening to rumours." Emily spoke calmly but venomously before the table in the far corner, currently being cleaned by a slim blonde girl, caught her eye.

"Wait ma'am." Emily yelled quietly as she walked over to the table. "Can you tell me who was sat here please?" She lifted her FBI badge inconspicuously as her eyes mindlessly surveyed the contents of the table whilst she waited for the young waitress to answer – nothing out of the ordinary, except one thing; the one thing that had caught her eye from the other side of the restaurant.

"Um, it wasn't my table. But the waitress just nipped out back for a smoke. It was a woman though, a little shorter than you. Slim build and she had dark hair, lighter than yours though. Oh and she was wearing aviators. I remember that because it looks like it's going to rain, plus the fact that she was inside just made it entirely weird. Only famous people and people running from the cops wear sunglasses inside-" Eying the badge shielded in Emily's hand, "-which I guess makes sense now."

Nodding her head slowly, Emily took the newspaper from the table and tucked it under her arm – both for the fact that it could lead her to wherever this mysterious woman had gone now, and also because if it actually was JJ, it would only take a quick glance at this newspaper for the seemingly intelligent waitress to piece everything together. "Do you know how long ago she left?" Emily finally made eye contact with the younger woman.

"About twenty minutes ago." Emily nodded slowly again and uttered thanks before turning to leave, but the young waitress stopped her. "Ma'am, if she is who I think she might be, you really need to find her. I've read every serial killer book you could imagine, and she doesn't fit the profile of any of them. I don't believe what the papers are saying about her and she didn't look to be in a good way."

Emily was intrigued, enough for it to make her forget for just a second what it was that she was there for in the first place. But she also had to ensure that no phone calls where going to be made to the FBI – she still didn't know if it _was_ JJ trying to contact her, but if it was, the last thing that the blonde clearly wanted was to have the team involved or even notified that she was alive. "With all due respect, I don't know what you're talking about. I'm looking for a friend, that's all."

Scanning the room to ensure that no one was in ear shot, the young waitress lowered her voice and spoke again. "You dress like a bachelor, with crisp designer clothes, which tells me that you're officially single, and yet the paint on the back of your pants and the dark circles beneath your eyes tell me that you spend a lot of time around a child. You come across as calm and cool, so the way you spoke to Bobby tells me that he hit a nerve, that there's a very close relationship between you and the woman you're looking for. You claim that you're just looking for a friend, but you would have no reason to use your FBI badge if you were, and you certainly wouldn't _hide_ that FBI badge if you were just doing your job. And all of this combined tells me that she means a lot to you. So of course you're going to try to shoot me down because you're afraid I'll tell someone that you were in here, but I want you to know that I won't. Just as long as you find her. She may have changed her hair colour, but I'm telling you, it's her. Find her before someone else does."

Emily's jaw almost hit the floor. Aside from official profilers, she had only ever seen those profiling skills in one other person, and she was frankly amazed at how well the young waitress had read her from the very little that she had said and done. Relenting – she really couldn't argue now – the brunette finally spoke, her voice nothing more than a whisper. "Did she really look that bad?"

Pursing her lips a little and nodding slowly, the waitress replied. "I saw her at an FBI seminar several years ago, and how she looks now is a mere shell of how she looked then. I'm sorry I couldn't give you any more than that, but I really hope you find her."

_Me too._ Remembering that she was on a tight deadline, Emily made her thanks and reached into her pocket for a card. "Call me if you remember anything else. And.." Purposely looking to the young woman's name badge, Emily added. "Lucy. You would make one hell of a profiler. You should consider it."

As she stepped out onto the street, Emily pulled the newspaper from underneath her arm and stared at the image and the headline on the front. The date showed that it was over three weeks old, and coffee mug stains littered the young face and obscured the simple headline; BAU KIDNAPPING: CHILD FOUND. It had to have been JJ who left this behind; a coincidence like that would just be cruel and inhumane. Though, the whole situation was just cruel and inhumane enough for Emily to believe that this may be no more than just a simple coincidence. Besides, could she really trust a random waitress who didn't know either of them really? And didn't that waitress say that the woman had been a brunette? Of course, JJ could have coloured her hair, which would be a logical thing to do under the circumstances, but she couldn't help but wonder if Clyde did have a point. Was she seeing patterns where there weren't any?

There was still the slightest possibility that it could be JJ though and that was enough for her; she couldn't walk away now. According to the young waitress' accounts, it had now been 25 minutes since JJ had left the restaurant, so she really _couldn't_ have gotten that far – and if the blonde had gone through this much trouble to contact her, then she _wouldn't_ go that far anyway.

Opting for the next location on Clyde's list, Emily's feet took a left, to the end of the block and in the direction of somewhere that held one of her fondest memories.


	11. Chapter 11

**_Chapter Eleven;_ I Will Always Find You**

Sighing, Morgan shook his head slowly as he looked up at Garcia. The pair had been sat in silence since he had entered her lair to tell her of their findings. There was nothing of their typical banter, nothing colourful and happy, just a dark empty space between them that held each one of their unspoken thoughts.

"I feel like such an ass." Morgan finally spoke.

"Why?" Garcia frowned.

Running a hand over his head, Morgan pursed his lips before replying. "Because I'm grateful. A twenty five year old girl is dead, and I'm _grateful_ for that. That makes me an ass." The body hadn't been JJ, but it was still a young girl, and he felt overwhelmingly selfish for being thankful that it was her instead of his friend. How could he be grateful for death?

"If it makes you an ass, then it makes me one too. But look at it this way.. if this was reversed, that girl's family would be the one's feeling grateful right now. It's human nature, Derek. And if-" Garcia stopped abruptly as a small green notification in the lower corner of her main computer screen grabbed her attention, her mouth still open mid-sentence as she rolled her chair and herself over to her desk.

"What is it?" Morgan stood and walked over to Garcia, the expression adorning her face concerning him a little.

**CM-CM-CM**

Her feet stopped instantly.

She had imagined this moment thousands of times over and she almost pinched herself to make sure that it wasn't another cruel dream. Lowering her shades, she allowed her eyes to adjust; perhaps their orange tint was forcing her to see faces that weren't there. But no.. It was real. What she was seeing was really real.

Almost painfully real.

The smaller woman looked like she'd been to hell and back – which, essentially, she had. Her now brunette hair hung limp and lifeless around her shoulders, nothing like the soft, golden locks that Emily had run her fingers through and reveled in the softness of each time she had pressed her lips to JJ's. Typically tan and almost glowing skin was now grey and dull, nothing like the baby softness that Emily's fingertips had glided along in awe in the months previous. And a small frame seemed somehow much tinier than it ever had, almost like that of an elderly woman rather than someone young, vibrant, bubbly. JJ was less than a shell of herself, and Emily felt a hatred for life in that moment. She'd witnessed bad things happen to good people every day throughout her career, but this cut deeper - and if it was supposed to be a joke, she really was missing the punchline.

Emily's feet mindlessly picked up their own pace again, and when she reached the large, oak tree, she lowered herself down next to the only other person occupying the space.

"I wasn't sure you'd come.." A small voice broke the silence.

Turning her face to look at the unmoving person beside her, Emily responded honestly. "I will always come for you, JJ. I will always find you."

A small, barely visible nod came from the younger woman's head as she responded quietly. "I know."

A silence descended on the two women as each of them watched the passers-by, their own body language so comfortable and easy as they leant against the tree behind them, that you wouldn't believe that there were thousands of unanswered questions hanging in the air. Emily was simply grateful; grateful to have JJ back in her life, and before they delved into darkness, she needed a moment to appreciate that.

And for JJ, there was a sense of peace that she hadn't felt in almost four weeks. For the past twenty-four days, she had jumped from place to place, slept rough in any place that she could find and hitch-hiked her way as far from DC as she could. She did have questions, oh so many questions, but for now she needed to just breathe, to just be, to have one moment where she wasn't looking over her shoulder or wondering what was going to happen next; something that Emily's presence provided oh so easily.

A strong hand made it's way into her lap to entwine with her own smaller hand, and it was JJ who spoke first as she noticed a faint line of red paint on the back of Emily's wrist. "How is he?"

A small but definitely genuine smile graced Emily's features as she nodded slowly. "He's good. He's really good. But.. he misses his mommy."

Looking down to the entwined hands in her lap, JJ gripped a little tighter as tears burned at her eyes. "I thought he was gone, Emily. I thought I'd lost him forever. And I just kept picturing how you'd look at me when you found out that I'd killed a man, and.. without the two of you I really had no reason left to come back."

As much as it warmed Emily's heart to hear that she had even been on JJ's radar as a reason to come back despite the warrant out for her arrest, the overriding emotion was one of sorrow. She couldn't imagine the hell that JJ had been to if she genuinely thought that those two things were true – if she sincerely believed that Henry had been killed, and that she herself would ever look at her with anything less than love and adoration. "Percy Watson was no man, JJ. He deserved everything that he got for what he did to you. And Henry.. he's perfectly safe, and healthy, and happy."

"That's why he can't know that I'm back." JJ spoke simply, as though it was a decision that she had been deliberating for days; swiping at her tears and hardening her exterior, as though that would somehow make this easier.

"Why?" Emily turned her head to look directly at JJ. "Baby, he would love to see you and I know that you _need_ to see him."

"Because what if I go to jail, Emily?" JJ turned fully to face Emily. "What if I spend the next twenty-five years of mine and his life in prison? He is better off thinking I'm dead than knowing his mom is a murderer."

"JJ, you are not a murderer."

"I shot and killed a man, Emily!" The people surrounding them caught JJ's attention and she lowered her voice considerably. "Percy Watson is dead, I did that. That makes me a murderer."

"JJ, it was self-defence. He.." Emily trailed off, hesitant to verblise her thought. "raped you."

"And what if he didn't?"

**CM-CM-CM**

"I have no idea how I missed this, Morgan." Garcia spoke, her voice laced with disappointment in herself as her fingers flicked furiously against the keyboard and brought up another map. "Yesterday! Oh, sweet Jes-"

"This is the tracking on JJ's phone?" Morgan questioned mindlessly as his eyes scanned the screen, trying and failing to understand the bright colours and numbers that really made no sense to him.

"Yes. I set it up to run constantly and alert me if anything came up. This one right here," she pointed to the screen, "is from about two hours ago. The other's are from yesterday." Turning quickly in her chair to face him, she became frantic. "Morgan, what if we're too late? What if she's gone because I wasn't paying attention? What if-"

"Penelope." Morgan braced his hands at his friends arms to seize her frenzied flailing. "We were on a case yesterday. And this morning, we were _all_ distracted by the prospect of finding JJ's body. You did nothing wrong, okay?"

Nodding slowly, Garcia whispered. "Okay.."

"Now, let's go tell Hotch and bring our girl home."

**CM-CM-CM**

Relief washed through Emily in an instant; the feeling was like a drug. It had been an automatic assumption that Percy had indeed raped JJ given the state of his body, and she was grateful to learn that he hadn't. But her relief was soon replaced with a sudden guilt as she found herself, for just a second, questioning if JJ really had shot Percy in cold blood. She knew, overall, that the blonde didn't have it in her to do that – but.. maybe she did? She couldn't shake the memory of the darkness that she had seen in JJ in the prison; what if she really had done this for revenge?

JJ recognised the expression on Emily's face for what it was, and a part of her couldn't bare what she saw there, but the rest felt something else entirely. Lowering her gaze back to her lap, she ran her thumb over the fingers entwined with her own before lifting them to her lips and placing a small kiss to the soft skin there. "Thank you."

"What for?"

"For letting yourself believe for a moment that I could be a killer."

"JJ, I.." Emily began to protest, but she knew that whatever she said would be a lie.

"Emily, it's really okay. I wouldn't want you to condone what I've done simply to appease me, and I'm glad that you didn't." JJ knew that what she had said wasn't altogether true – Percy Watson may not have penetrated her, but he certainly would have if she hadn't shot him. Even in her self-doubting state, she could see that. But the last thing that she wanted was to explain to Emily just what had happened. Perhaps it was better all round to allow the older woman to think that she had simply driven Percy out to the middle of nowhere to kill him.

Untangling her hands from JJ's, Emily turned her body fully to face the younger woman and forced her to meet her eyes. "Now you listen to me.. I saw his body, JJ. And I know you. I don't need any more than that to know that you didn't kill him for no good reason. And he did deserve it, didn't he?" The question was more for JJ's benefit than her own – she needed her to see for herself, to _believe_ for herself, that what she had done to Percy had been entirely justified.

Tears glazed over JJ's eyes and fell silently down her cheeks as she tried to blink them away. "I probably would have still killed him Emily, even if he hadn't.." The now brunette trailed off. "As soon as I realised that Henry wasn't there I just saw red and.." Looking up to meet Emily's eyes, honesty burning in her own, JJ finished. "What he did to me from that point was simply the excuse that I needed."

Brushing a tear from JJ's cheek with her thumb, Emily simply watched the smaller woman for a second. It broke her heart that JJ genuinely thought that she was a killer. "Do you remember when Doyle had me in that warehouse?"

_How could I forget.._ "O-of course I do."

"I would have killed him then and there if I had the chance. No hesitation, I would have done it. And you know why?"

A brunette head shifted slightly, somewhere between a nod and an uncertain shake.

"Because _he_ is _my_ darkness, JJ. He always has been, and he always will be. We all have it in us. It doesn't make us bad people. In fact JJ, I think it's what makes you so beautiful. You are no a killer. You _are_ beautiful, and strong, and quite honestly the most amazing person that I have ever met. I have no doubt in me that whatever you did to Percy was entirely justified. He deserved everything that he got JJ, and don't you ever forget that."

JJ's eyes fell closed as she allowed her own hand to trail up and grip onto the hand against her cheek. "It doesn't matter, Emily. The truth is that I'm going to prison for a very long time for this."

Emily opened her mouth to protest, but again was silenced when she realised that that too would be a lie. She had been playing ignorant as much as she could, but she couldn't ignore it in this moment. The truth was, she couldn't honestly say that JJ wouldn't be going to jail for this. She knew more than most that sometimes, the justice system had a backward way of going about things, and oftentimes, that backward method led to the wrong people being convicted for entirely the wrong reasons. Protocol; it was one of two parts of her job that she hated, and she had never despised it more than in this moment.

"Then tell me what you need, JJ. Anything at all." And she did mean anything at all - even if that anything at all was using her mother's status to help JJ disappear again.

**CM-CM-CM**

"What is it?" Hotch spoke as he, Rossi and Reid filtered into the conference room behind Garcia and Morgan.

"Sir, we have a hit on JJ's phone. Three of them. There were two yesterday and one a couple of hours ago." Garcia spoke nervously, feeling wholly like she had failed them all, especially JJ.

"Why are we just hearing about this now?" Hotch questioned almost angrily.

"Aaron.." Rossi began, knowing that the annoyance in Hotch's voice was fairly unjustified. "We've been busy. You know that."

"What are the locations?" Reid questioned, instantly moving to the other side of the room to pull up a board with a map pinned to it.

Looking down at the small piece of note paper in her hand, Garcia rattled off the locations. "The Capitol building, La Bella, the restaurant we went to a couple of months ago, and the park in downtown DC."

Circling the locations on the map with red ink, Reid frowned. "Aside from the restaurant, I'm not really seeing any significance between each location."

Shifting nervously, Garcia debated whether to speak up or not. Expressing her thoughts would mean that the whole team would know what she knew – that Emily and JJ were more than platonic – and she didn't want to put them in that kind of hot water. But could she really keep it quiet when it could lead them to JJ? Opting to subtly broach the topic, Garcia spoke casually. "Emily might know."

"Why would Emily know?" Morgan questioned, instantly piecing something together as he saw the look on Garcia's face. "Oh.. Oh! Wow.. Clearly I need to rethink my career choice."

"Well, then we should call her." Rossi spoke simply, seemingly not surprised at the implications in Garcia's words.

Hotch had known for quite some time that the circumstances between Emily and JJ crossed several professional lines, so Garcia's unspoken admission came simply as a confirmation that paled in comparison right now and he was already pulling up Emily's number in his phone.

Reid spoke, his typical childlike innocence very clear in his voice. "I don't get it.."

**CM-CM-CM**

"I'm gona hand myself in."

"Well okay.." Emily spoke, a little confused considering where she thought JJ's request would lie. "I'll call Hotch and we can work something out."

Shaking her head frustrated, JJ elaborated. "No, Emily. I mean I'm handing myself in. I'm going to admit that I killed him and do whatever time it is that I'm facing."

"What?" Emily shook her head. "JJ, you know that it doesn't have to be that way."

"You think Strauss is gona let this one slide? She's going to want to make an example of me. How bad would it make her, _and_ Hotch, look if she allowed me to keep my job and continue on as if I'd never killed anyone?"

"It's not as black and white as that JJ and you know it!" Emily leant back against the tree again with a sigh before another thought crossed her mind. "And what about Henry?"

"Well.. that's why I'm here. I want to sign custody of him over to you. I know it's you that he's been staying with. I can see it in your eyes, and well.. the paint on your pants. He never was one for keeping it on the paper.." JJ trailed off, a faint sadness in her features before she tried to shake it away; she had to get through this. "Anyway, that's my condition for giving a full confession."

_What is it with people profiling me today?_ Shaking her head again, Emily responded. "JJ, I love him, almost like he was my own, but he needs his mom. I've been doing the best that I can, but it was only ever meant to be temporary. I would take him in an instant, but it isn't about that. It's about the fact that you do _not_ need to do this."

"I do." JJ spoke softly, again like it was a decision that she had been settled upon for more than just this moment. "I can't allow the team to cover this up for me. I did this and I should deal with the consequences. Not Henry, not you, not Hotch or Garcia or the rest of the team. I should never have driven off with Percy and then maybe none of this would have happened. I should have listened to you. But I didn't."

Emily opened her mouth to speak but the buzzing phone in her pocket distracted her. Glancing quickly at the screen, she spoke, "It's Hotch." Her eyes met JJ's in panic. "What should I do?"

"Tell him where you are." JJ spoke calmly. "Tell him what I just told you."

Cocking her head to the side in disbelief, Emily answered the phone. "Prentiss."

"_Emily, we've had a hit on JJ's phone. Three, actually. Do you know the significance of the Capitol, La Bella and the main park in downtown DC?"_

Her eyes widened a little instantly as her boss spoke through the speaker. "No, I don't see the correlation between those places." She wanted to protect JJ for just a little longer, but she realised then that the team weren't the ones that she should be protecting her from – and Hotch's next statement told her that there was no point in lying anyway.

"_Emily.. I know that you want to protect her, we do too. I also know that there's more to your relationship than you've let on, so don't pretend that there isn't because we don't have time for mind games. If you know the significance of those places, no matter what that significance is, it could lead us to her and we need to find her before Strauss and her boys catch wind of this. You need to tell us, and that is an order, Agent Prentiss."_

Pulling her bottom lip into her mouth, Emily shook her head slowly before glancing towards JJ. As a small, certain nod came from the younger woman's head, she finally spoke..

"I'm with her right now, Hotch."


	12. Chapter 12

**Author's Note:** Three chapters in one night; aren't I good to you? ;) I'm excited about the next chapter, but you likely won't get it this evening because I need to focus a little attention on my other story. Besides, I need to come up with a really awesome typical JJ speech and that will take a less sleepy mind. Anyway, enjoy! :)

* * *

**_Chapter Twelve;_ We're Going To Be Amazing**

"Oh my god.."

The air around the bullpen became deafeningly silent, save for one whisper. For a long moment, each agent simply stared at JJ, their heart aching at the state of their friend, and it was Garcia who moved first; wrapping her arms around the now brunette's small frame and clinging onto her like she was afraid that she was suddenly going to disappear again.

"Garcia." JJ choked out after almost thirty seconds in the redhead's tight embrace. "I-I can't breathe."

"I don't care." Tears glazed at Garcia's spectacle covered eyes. "I am so mad at you. Don't you ever do this to me again!"

"I'm so sorry.." JJ spoke honestly and gripped at her friend a little tighter to reinforce her statement; and when Garcia finally released her, she looked around at the faces of her team, her family, and repeated the sentiment. "All of you.. I am so sorry."

"We're just happy that you're safe." Rossi spoke somewhat paternally as he pressed a kiss to JJ's head.

"Yep, and once you've recovered, you are going to get a piece of my mind, baby girl." Morgan winked as he threw a brotherly arm around JJ. He was upset, they all were, but right in this very moment, he was more relieved – whatever else he felt could wait.

The smaller woman fell easily into the embrace, fighting her own tears now as she clung onto Morgan. "I can't wait."

As the dark agent finally released the young woman and stood back, Reid planted himself directly in front of JJ, his shifty eyes resembling that of a small, shy child before he flung his arms suddenly around his friend. "Welcome home, JJ."

Once the somewhat awkward yet very welcome hug between her and Reid ended, JJ looked up to her boss. Their eyes remained locked for a while, before Hotch finally looked away and the now brunette woman was left feeling like she had disappointed her parents. It was like a blow to the gut, but she understood. No matter what her reasoning was, she had disappeared and left a trail of chaos in her wake that her team had had to clean up – she was surprised that Hotch was the only one visibly disappointed with her. But as the Unit Chief began addressing the team, the ache in her chest was eased somewhat as she felt Emily's hand at the small of her back.

"I have a meeting with Strauss to figure out what to do about this mess." Hotch checked his watch as he spoke. "She's probably going to want to speak to all of you, so don't disappear. That includes you too, JJ."

Even Emily's presence couldn't shield her from that blow. "Yes, Sir." JJ spoke like an obedient child as her boss left the conference room.

**CM-CM-CM**

"It's not up to me, Aaron." Strauss spoke a little louder than intended. "I don't know where you all got this assumption that I'm some ice queen who doesn't have a heart, but I care about Jennifer too."

"I'm certain that assumption comes from the fact that you're standing by and allowing the guys at the top to throw her under a bus." Hotch spoke calmly, though his anger was clearly evident.

"You're a Unit Chief, so you know very well that there are people above both of us who we have to answer to. It's protocol. I don't have enough power change that."

Realistically, Hotch knew that Strauss was right. There wasn't a great deal that either of them could do in this situation. It was now down to the suits at the top – the suits who had never even met JJ, the suits who saw her simply as a number rather than a person – and that is where his anger towards his Section Chief was stemming from. "So, what now?"

Sighing and taking a seat behind her desk, Strauss responded. "One of the Director's investigators will come down and interview each of you. If they're satisfied, this won't even go to court. They want to see this disappear as much as we do. The last thing they want is to have it result in a bad reputation for the FBI and months of searching for someone of Jennifer's calibre to replace her."

"And if they're not satisfied?"

"Then there's nothing we can do, Aaron. If they can't go back to the Director with a satisfactory account of events from each of you, then this will be taken further and at the very least she will lose her job." Shaking her head slowly, Strauss spoke again. "They will see each of you somewhat similar to how they did with Emily, except it will probably be conducted to keep it out of the public eye as much as possible. Tomorrow morning at ten."

He hated it, but he had no choice other than to agree. There was only one issue though – _Henry_. "I'm sure you realise the situation with JJ's son. What are we expected to do with him in the mean time?"

"Jesus, Aaron. You and your team are beginning to prove more hassle than your worth." Sighing, not for the first time since Hotch had entered her office, Strauss spoke. "Leave him with me. I can keep him occupied for the few hours that the investigator is here. But you need to remember Aaron, if this doesn't go well, his father will need to be contacted. It's either that or social services take him, and I know you think I'm some kind of a bitch from hell but I don't want that either. Just.." She nodded with a further sigh, straightened her back and looked directly at Hotch. "Just fix this mess, okay?"

"Yes, ma'am." Hotch nodded, very uncertain about leaving Henry with Strauss. He wouldn't want to spend more than ten minutes alone with her, let alone expecting the small boy to do it, but another thought crossed his mind before he could even finish that one. "And JJ?"

"She'll have to go into custody tonight." Erin spoke distractedly as she shuffled through some papers on her desk. "She's a flight risk."

"With all due respect, the only reason that JJ is even back here right now is because she chose to be. She isn't going anywhere."

"So what do you suggest?" Erin Strauss looked across to her colleague, stress evident on her face. She was very aware of the reputation that she had, but she was the one who had to fix the messes that they made, she was the one who had to correct the situation when protocol was breached, and she was the one who had to take the flack for it each and every time one of Aaron's unit strayed off of the beaten path. They were a good team, the best even, and most of the choices that they made, she would have made herself – but it was still exhausting, and even more so when it came with no gratitude.

"I will place JJ with one of my agent's this evening." He already had one in mind, one that he was a little apprehensive about. If anyone was going to help JJ disappear again, it would be Emily – but he also knew that if anyone was going to keep her here, that would be Emily too. "She won't be going anywhere, I assure you of that."

"It'll be your badge if she does, Aaron. I can't keep taking the heat for your mistakes." Erin spoke a little calmer – this alternative didn't seem like an awful one, and if she was honest, she didn't want JJ spending the night in a cell either.

**CM-CM-CM**

"How did it go?" Rossi spoke as soon as Hotch entered the room.

Previous to his entrance, the team had been floating in easy banter that they all knew was a pretence. Of course they were happy to have one of their own back where she belonged, but each of their minds were focused wholly on what happened next. Where did they go from here?

Pausing to regard his team – as angry and as stressed as he was, it was still nice to see them all together as a family again – Hotch took a moment to breathe before he gave the _good_ news. "We're all being investigated. Agent Thomas Blakely will be here at ten am tomorrow morning."

"And what happens from there?" Emily spoke, her hand immediately resting on JJ's thigh beneath the table.

"You don't want to know." Hotch spoke honestly. "Let's just.. not let it come to that. We just need to make them see that JJ is no murderer."

JJ's heart sank - she couldn't bear the look of stress on her boss' face, and even more, the certainty that she was the cause of it. "Hotch, I-"

"We'll talk when it's over, JJ. In the meantime, you're staying with Emily tonight. It was either that or you spend the night in the cells. But I managed to talk Strauss round with the promise that you weren't a flight risk. Do not make me regret it." Hotch spoke firmly, a small part of him still somewhat nervous that JJ would disappear again, but the look on her face reassured him that he needn't worry.

She was grateful at first, beyond grateful that she was being permitted to spend the night where she felt safest, but her heart sank suddenly further as she remembered one problem. How could she go home with Emily when that's where Henry would be? How did it come to be that everyone was taking care of her son but her?

"I'll take him." Garcia whispered when she noticed the conflicted look in JJ's eyes. "I'll pick him up from daycare and tell him it's a treat for being so good. We'll watch movies or something. And then if you do change your mind about seeing him, he'll be there. Okay, sweetie?"

The young woman smiled gratefully, and just as a further thought popped into her mind, Hotch spoke again, giving an answer as though he had read her mind.

"Strauss is taking care of Henry while the investigator is here tomorrow." The whole room fell silent and six sets of incredulous eyes aimed themselves directly at him. "I know but just.. don't. This situation is a mess enough as it is and she offered. Now if you'll excuse me, I have a mountain of paperwork to get through today."

JJ wasn't sure what she was supposed to feel. It was almost like Henry was Hotch's son rather than hers, but did she really have the right to criticise anything after disappearing for over three weeks? Or maybe it was more like he was Emily's; he had spent almost every moment with her since she had abandoned him. Even Strauss seemed to be more of a parent to him than she had been over this past month. Everywhere she turned, someone was taking her son from her, but wasn't that a good thing under this circumstance? She was being ridiculous and she knew it, but her sleepy and shattered mind couldn't think logically.

"He's going to be just fine, I promise you." A gentle voice came from beside her.

Those nine little words and the hand that entwined with hers were all it took to settle JJ's churning stomach – because a promise from Emily needed no proof, no evidence; it just _was_. She wasn't sure where Emily found her strength, but she was grateful to have it showered upon her each time a door opened to release another demon that she had been running from.

**CM-CM-CM**

"Why don't you take a shower or a bath? There's plenty of clothes in my closet and there's clean towels in the bathroom. I'll make us some dinner." Emily spoke, half rambling as she removed her jacket and tossed it over the back of a stool in her kitchen. "Or we could stop by your place and pick up some of your things. They finished with their investigations weeks ago so that's an option. Or we could.." Emily finally stopped long enough to recognise that JJ hadn't moved from her spot by the stairs since they'd walked in.

JJ was simply staring; at the truck laid on it's side on the living room rug, the half empty cereal bowl on the coffee table, the toys littered across the sofa and the pile of freshly ironed small boy's clothing waiting to be put away. It was a sight that was so familiar to her and yet felt so foreign. Where there should have been an energetic boy running around her ankles and making more of a mess as she cleaned, there was an eerie calm. Where there should have been shrieks of laughter, there was a deafening silence. It was all wrong, so wrong.

"Sweetie.." Emily spoke softly as she walked over to JJ, placed her hands gently at the younger woman's arms and turned her. "Everything is going to be okay. Henry will be back before you know it and life will return to normal. We just need to get through tomorrow, okay?"

JJ remained silent, swallowed hard and dropped her gaze to the ground.

"Would you like to go see him? Because we really can. I will take you right now if that's what you want, baby."

It _was_ what she wanted; more than she had ever wanted anything, she wanted that. But she wasn't selfish enough for that. Henry was going to have questions that she didn't hold the answers to, and aside from that, could she really just stride back into his life if there was a possibility that she would have to leave again? Shaking her head slowly and finally bringing her eyes to meet Emily's, JJ finally responded. "I can't, Emily."

Nodding knowingly – she knew exactly why JJ didn't feel right seeing Henry and she wasn't about to force her hand, even if she did think that it would do her some good – Emily spoke again. "Then I'm going to run you a bath. And you're going to take a long soak, and once you are done, dinner will be ready. Okay?"

A small nod came from a brunette head and a whisper of almost childlike innocence. "Okay.."

An hour later saw Emily clearing away the dinner dishes whilst JJ remained at the island in the older woman's kitchen. JJ had barely touched her food, eaten a few bites of chicken so that she didn't seem ungrateful towards Emily, but honestly, she couldn't face more than that. She was tired, exhausted even; the last thing that she wanted was to eat.

Placing the last dish into the dishwasher, Emily pressed a button and turned to face JJ. The younger woman definitely looked better since her bath, but the pain and exhaustion was still there, etched into every inch of her face like she had endured years and years of torment. Essentially, she had. This had been a part of her life since she was ten years old – and this, the right now, was just another part of the show that she was being forced to watch day in and day out. JJ's fight seemed to be gone, and in that moment, Emily vowed to give her her own strength, like a human offering herself to a vampire for his survival.

Without a word being spoken, Emily walked over to JJ and offered out a hand, pulled the younger woman to her feet and lead her to the bedroom. Once they were there, she pulled back the comforter and gestured for JJ to lay down. And when the smaller woman was finally tucked up beneath silk, Emily perched herself beside her and ran a hand over her now brunette hair. She wasn't sure if JJ wanted her to climb in bed beside her, not after what she had been through, and so she opted to keep her distance but a small voice requested otherwise.

"Lay with me, Emily. Please.."

Emily scanned JJ's face for a moment, but when she found no indication that the younger woman was speaking out of obligation, she lifted the comforter and pulled the smaller woman into her chest as she laid down. The feeling was indescribable. It was a nothing moment really, and yet it was _everything_. This was exactly what she had longed for on those nights that she spent crying herself to sleep, those nights where the strength that everyone seems to assume she has failed her; and if the hands clutching at her shirt were anything to go by, JJ had longed for it too.

Silence descended for quite some time and Emily was certain that JJ had fallen asleep so it startled her when she spoke again. "I love you, Emily. I am so in love with you, and I don't know what tomorrow is going to bring and I just.. I need you to know that."

The leaps and swoops in her stomach at JJ's words were overshadowed easily by the finality in them. It was like JJ was saying goodbye and she couldn't bear it, so she opted for a different response than the one that would typically be expected when your lover tells you that they are in love with you for the first time. "I was thinking that once this is over, you and I and Henry should take a trip."

JJ's brow furrowed, but she realised almost instantly what Emily was doing – exactly what she _needed_ her to be doing; she was giving her hope. It did sting a little that the older woman hadn't returned her feelings, but a part of her felt that she was asking for too much in expecting such reciprocation, especially after everything that she had put her and everyone else through. She was lucky that the brunette was even still here, but she was so grateful that she was. "Can we go to Disney World?"

A genuine smile graced Emily's face as she rolled onto her side to face JJ, her hand drawing patterns against the blonde's back. "California or Florida? _Please_ not Paris." Emily winked jokingly, though after the months that she had spent in that city evading Doyle, the request was actually fairly serious, too.

"Florida. I've always wanted to go." JJ spoke with some kind of twinkle back in her eyes. "And I think Henry would love it."

"I think he would too." Emily nodded as she brushed a lock of brunette hair behind the younger woman's ear. "I love this colour on you, by the way. I mean, it needs to go because we can't _both_ be a brunette. But I love it nonetheless."

"Your hair is black, Emily." JJ smiled, enjoying the easy conversation. My god, she had needed this.

"Is not." Emily mock pouted. "Stop trying to steal my colour."

JJ's small smile turned into a full grin as she wrapped her arms around Emily and buried her face into the crook of her neck. She had never felt safer in her entire life. In Emily's scent, in the heat of her body, in the strong embrace of her arms, she felt as though nothing could touch her. The safety burnt as much as it soothed though, stung as much as it comforted and tears began to surface at her eyes – she didn't want to lose this. Pressing her lips gently against Emily's chest between the open material of her shirt, JJ allowed her hands to move from the older woman's shoulders, beneath the covers and down her arms, across her torso to her hips.

For a single moment, Emily lost herself in the sensation of JJ's touch, of the warm lips against her chest, the soft hand dipping below the hem of her shirt – but a sudden realisation pulled her from heaven. Placing her hand gently against JJ's to still their movements, Emily spoke softly. "JJ, you don't need to do that. You've been through a lot, you need your rest, and I am still going to be here in the morning, next week, next year. I'm not going anywhere, okay?"

JJ squeezed her eyes tight shut, afraid to lift her head to look at Emily, and so instead, she buried it further into the brunette's chest and cried.

"Hey, sweetie.." Emily rubbed soothing circles against JJ's back. "You're okay, baby.. It's okay. It's okay."

"It's not, Em." JJ mumbled into the brunette's chest before shifting away from her completely, the comforter pulled up so tight around her neck that it was a miracle that she could still breathe. "I can still.. feel him."

"No." Emily spoke simply as she pulled the comforter from JJ's vice grip and melded herself against the younger woman once again. "You can feel _me_." Placing a hand against JJ's cheek, Emily questioned. "Feel that?" A small nod came from JJ and the brunette allowed her hand to trail from a tear stained cheek to a shoulder, down over a toned back and settled upon a slightly protruding hip, her thumb rubbing circles there. "And that?" A small nod came from JJ again before Emily spoke. "That is me, that's not him. And I will spend my life erasing his touch from your skin if that's how long it takes."

Tears still burned at JJ's eyes, but she needed Emily to just.. keep touching her. It was the one thing soothing the burn from every place that Percy's grubby hands had been. "Please don't stop, Emily.."

Emily surveyed the situation for a moment, her breathing increasing a little at how unintentionally sexually intimate this moment had suddenly become as she looked into JJ's tear-glazed eyes. It really wasn't intentional; she hadn't been trying to get JJ to do anything, and even though the younger woman was straight out asking for her to, could she really continue whilst she knew what she had been through? "JJ-"

To an outsider, the words that JJ was about to speak could have easily come across as a major guilt trip, but they couldn't have been farther from that – they were genuine insecurities; the knowledge that she was now damaged goods, the certainty that Emily didn't love her. Her mind was too shattered to recognise that Emily's actions so far had been that of someone who far more than simply _likes_ someone. She had resigned herself to the fact that she was going to prison tomorrow, and she would spend the next twenty-five years alone in a cell with nothing but the memory of Percy's touch to fuel her nightmares – she needed to replace that with Emily, even if Emily didn't love her, even if it was pretend.

"I know you don't love me, Emily." She blinked to ease the stream of tears as she spoke the words, ensuring that she missed the sudden expression of protest adorning Emily's features. "And I know I'm damaged goods, but please. I need to feel something other than him. Please pretend, please.. just for one night."

"JJ, I am not going to pretend anything." JJ's features dropped further, if that was even possible, and Emily knew that she needed to fix the implications that the younger woman had taken from her words before it was too late. Allowing her hand that had been resting against the younger woman's' hip to slip beneath a grey tank top, Emily's fingers drew patterns against a toned abdomen. "Because this.." Her hand trailed a little further. "This _isn't_ pretend, JJ. Look at me, baby."

Blue eyes fluttered open and met Emily's gaze as she felt soft fingers reach higher and higher and brush in a feather-like touch over her breast.

"This isn't pretend." She whispered the sentiment once more. Removing her hand from JJ's shirt, Emily gently pushed back the comforter until it was barely covering either of them, her dark eyes remaining locked with blue as she slowly, cautiously, removed the blonde's sweatpants. "This is _reality_." Light brown hair swept against grey as a tank top was removed, and pink lips met comfortingly, lovingly, reassuringly, before a naked JJ sank back against the mattress once more, pulling Emily with her.

For a second, as she lay down beside her lover and brushed a strand of hair from her face, she simply watched JJ; nothing but love and adoration burning from her dark eyes. "Don't you ever, _ever_ question whether or not I love you.." Pressing her lips gently to JJ's, her fingers caressing the almost visible ribs beneath the blonde's breasts, she whispered again. "There was never a moment when I didn't love you, JJ.. And there never will be."

JJ closed her eyes in relief, her back arching and a gasp escaping from her lips as a warm mouth pressed to her collarbone, her chest, before it closed around a nipple and tears fell silently from her cheeks. They weren't tears of pain, or distress, or any indication that she didn't want this; they were tears of relief, tears that reflected the breath that she had been holding every second of every day since she was a child.

With her fingers laced with JJ's, her thumbs brushing soothingly over tensed knuckles; Emily allowed her lips to leave the blonde's nipple, to make a journey across an exposed stomach and when she reached the very bottom of JJ's abdomen, she stopped, her lips still pressed to heated skin as she peered up into deep blue eyes, giving the younger woman the opportunity to stop her if she needed to. Those words never came, but in their place were words of a different kind..

"I need to.. I need to feel you, Emily. I.." JJ faltered, unsure of how to verbalise what she wanted. "Your clothes.. I.. I don't want you to be clothed."

Emily had purposely neglected to remove her own clothing. The last thing that she wanted was for JJ to take such an act as a hint that she expected something in return. But as she did as requested and lay her full weight against the younger woman, their bodies entwining into one; the small gasp that left slightly parted lips told her that the only way to fully remove Percy's touch from JJ's body, was with her own body, her own skin, her own touch.

Loving blue eyes stared up at brown and two small hands brushed back raven hair. "Touch me, Emily.." When Emily didn't move, but instead silently questioned her, JJ took a hold of her hand and maneuvered it between them. "Like this.."

Both women gasped as Emily's fingertips met liquid heat, and for several moments, they each lost themselves to nothing but that one touch, the way their combined bodies moved in perfect unison, the breaths that left each of their lips and fell directly into the other's.

JJ's back arched into Emily and her hands gripped tighter at the sides of the brunette's face; she needed to keep her there, she needed to see her eyes, she needed to know that she wasn't losing her. "Please, Emily.. I.." She faltered again, instead allowing the increased thrust of her hips to ask for her.

But as Emily understood completely, as two fingers slipped gently but firmly inside her, the tears returned. Tears that were actually sobs, tears that she hoped beyond anything wouldn't be misconstrued by the brunette. No part of her wanted Emily to stop, and thankfully, the brunette seemed to understand that, too.

"Never.." Emily whispered in response to the silent plea. Even though she was already inside JJ, there was nothing hurried about it; _nothing_. It had hurt to know that JJ didn't think that she could ever love her, and she intended to show her, to make her _believe_. But as she felt a small hand leave her face, ghost past her stomach and dip into her own heat, she stopped suddenly. "JJ, you don't need to do that."

"Yes, I do." Teary blue eyes latched onto brown once again as she moved her fingers slowly through Emily's own wetness. Her sobs had eased, but her words were still broken. "But it's-it's a need in me.. I.. I need to be this close to you in case I never get the chance again."

"You'll have the chance." Emily breathed unevenly as JJ's fingers brushed over her clit and she finally allowed her own fingers to pick up a pace once again. "This isn't the end of us. We're going to be amazing, baby." And she meant every word – there was no way that she was going to let the worst happen tomorrow, no matter what that meant.

"I believe that." JJ breathed, a small whimper falling from her lips as Emily's fingers thrust a little deeper.

"I-.." Emily moaned as she felt JJ's fingers slip inside her. "I'm not going anywhere, JJ, and.. and neither are you."

And in a single moment, JJ truly believed that to be true. Her fight was returning, which each movement of their sweat-glazed bodies, with each thrust that pushed her closer to heaven, with each beautiful whimper that erased any memory of Percy Watson, she regained the strength that she had once had.

This was not going to beat her.


	13. Chapter 13

**Author's Note:** I think this may be by far the longest chapter I've written for this story.. And it took me forever! But hopefully I got it right. Let me know! :)

* * *

**_Chapter Thirteen_; Strength**

Emily squinted into the harsh sun light filtering into her bedroom, confusion setting in as she tried to piece memories from the day before with the fact that she was now alone in her bed. Had she imagined JJ's return? Their love-making? Was it all just another cruel dream?

Reaching to the bedside table for her phone, Emily checked the time and reluctantly pulled herself out of bed, her mind no more settled on a conclusion as she walked sleepily down the stairs. But as the woman in her kitchen came into view, all the pieces of the puzzle swooped together – though, there were some that didn't fit. JJ was like a whole other person, even from the back, and as the younger woman turned fully to face her with a genuine smile, Emily realised just how true that was.

There was colour back in cheeks that seemed lifeless yesterday; faded blue eyes were now bright and vibrant; brunette hair hung in silky waves around slim yet strong shoulders, cascading over a sheer ivory shirt that fitted loosely around JJ's small frame; a black pencil skirt clung to a moderately curved arse and stiletto heels clicked against the tiles of the kitchen floor as the younger woman strode confidently towards her.

"Good morning, you."

"Uh.. good morning.." Emily spoke, incredulous. Was this really the same woman? "How long have you been awake?"

"An hour or so." JJ took a sip of her coffee and leant against the kitchen island. "I figured that I don't have any of my own clothes here so I needed time to find something of yours that didn't make me look like an Emily clone. Ya know, since I stole your hair colour." JJ spoke with a wink.

Emily swallowed hard, totally missing the joke in JJ's words; her mind too focussed on the hot determination radiating from the younger agent and the incredibly appealing strength etched into every inch of her demeanour.

"Prentiss." JJ waved a hand in front of Emily's face. "Stop being a perv and go shower. We have to leave in thirty minutes."

The older woman raised her eyebrows a little, still at a loss for anything that resembled a coherent sentence. "Yes ma'am."

**CM-CM-CM**

Emily was still somewhat baffled fifty minutes later, as she pulled her car into the allotted BAU parking lot and strode with JJ towards the elevator. A part of her was concerned; concerned that JJ had finally broke under the pressure. But a look in the smaller woman's eyes told her that she was wrong – that it was the complete opposite. She wasn't certain how or where, but JJ had found her strength. She was almost completely back to her old self, except with more determination in her eyes than she had ever seen there. JJ was nothing if not determined, but this confidence in her step, the fearlessness in her posture, the power burning from her eyes, was something else entirely.

"How's my son doing?" JJ spoke, strangely authoritatively as she walked into the bullpen and saw Garcia.

The redhead was a little taken aback by JJ's demeanour, and she received a confused shrug from Emily as she looked beyond the smaller woman to the dark haired agent. "Uh, he's great, gumdrop. He's with Strauss."

"I'd worry more about her than him." Morgan laughed as he joined the three women in the bullpen and pressed an affectionate kiss to JJ's cheek. "You look amazing, Jayje. They'll never be able to shoot you down."

"And _that_ is how you're supposed to respond to a hot woman in your kitchen, Emily." JJ laughed, gesturing towards Morgan with her hand as she turned her head to the older woman.

"I don't get it.." Garcia whispered as Emily walked slowly over to her and left JJ chatting with Morgan.

In all honesty, Emily didn't get it either. She had no idea what had caused JJ's sudden confidence, but it was most definitely welcome. "I don't know, Garcia. But it's really good to have her back."

"Morgan." Hotch called from his office. "You're up first. Agent Blakely wants to see you in the conference room."

"It'll be fine, Jayje." Morgan reassured as he saw a sudden but well-hidden hint of nerves flicker across JJ's features, before turning for his destination. He didn't know that it was going to be okay in all honesty, but the strength that he had seen in JJ this morning had given him is own new hope.

**CM-CM-CM**

Strauss adjusted the stapler on her desk for the fifth time in ten minutes; a nanosecond of a distraction that allowed her to forget just how uncomfortable she felt as big blue eyes stared expectantly at her from across the table. He had been sat like that since Garcia had dropped him off, his legs crossed and a curious look on his face that made her strangely nervous.

Clearing her throat a little, she decided to adjust the papers on her desk instead. This was ridiculous; she was a Section Chief for the FBI, but in the presence of the small boy she somehow felt inferior to a rat. "So-"

"Why don't you ever smile?" Henry cut her off, a simplicity to his anything but simple question.

Strauss opened her mouth to speak, closing it again instantly when she realised that she wasn't certain of an answer. Aside from that, how could he even _know_ that? He'd met her probably twice, and that was many years ago when he was still a baby. Opting for a different approach, the Section Chief finally spoke. "Well Henry, do you smile all the time?"

"I do when I'm wif the people I like." His little brow furrowing at a sudden notion, Henry spoke again. "Does that mean you don't like me?"

"Uh-well-"

"Do you know my mommy?" Henry cut her off again, folding his arms in his lap as he waited impatiently for an answer.

Pursing her lips a little, Strauss contemplated how she was supposed to answer that question. How the hell _was_ she supposed to answer that question considering the path that it would likely lead down? She decided to go for a simple response, hoping that the topic would change as easily as it had ten seconds ago. "I do."

"Aunt Emmy says she's gone away for a little while. Did you make her go away?"

"No, Henry." Her response was instant that time, though when she realised that she had nothing suitable to follow it up with, she wished that she had considered her words a little more carefully.

"Do you smile when you're with my mommy? Everyone else does. Especially Aunt Emmy. I think it's cos she's really pretty. Do you think she's pretty?"

_This is going to be a long morning._

**CM-CM-CM**

"So what you're saying, Agent Morgan, is that Miss Jareau purposely climbed into the car with the victim, _alone_ and left without waiting for assistance?"

"Well, yes, but-" Morgan began, growing increasingly frustrated with the guy in his presence.

"I think we have all we need from you for now. You may leave. Please send in.." Agent Blakely looked down at the papers in front of him. "Agent David Rossi."

Shaking his head as an incredulous laugh left his lips; Morgan rose from his seat and left the room. _Who the hell does that guy think he is?_

"Rossi, you're up." The dark agent yelled to his teammate that was perched on one of the desks in the bull pen. "That guy is a piece of work."

"And I'm David Rossi." Rossi spoke with a wink as he passed Morgan on his way to the conference room.

"Was it that bad?" JJ asked, her strength faltering somewhat as she witnessed the frustration evident on her friend's face.

Morgan opened his mouth to speak, but when he noticed the fear etched into JJ's features, he simply shook his head. "No baby girl, it's gona be fine."

She didn't buy it, not for one second, but the gentle hand that ghosted down her arm and entwined with her own hand replaced some of her broken hope.

**CM-CM-CM**

"Are you hungry?" Strauss questioned hopefully, desperate to find reason for them to be anywhere other than this increasingly tiny office.

"Nope. Aunt Penny let me have two bowls of shmellow cereal." Henry shifted in his chair a little, adjusting his legs so that his knees were up and his feet were planted against the seat. "Do you know Aunt Penny?"

"I do." That was an easy question and she found herself grateful for it. Damn, this simple babysitting job was turning into an interrogation and she wasn't even certain what she'd done wrong.

"Do you like her? I do. She makes me laugh. Uncle Derek and Uncle Aaron make me laugh too. And Uncle Reid knows these really cool magic tricks. Do you know Uncle Reid?" Henry spoke animatedly.

_Uncle Reid.. Spencer Reid?_ "Uh.. I do."

"Has he ever shown you his magic tricks? I bet _they_ would make you smile."

A small smile finally pulled at Strauss' lips and easily turned into a gentle laugh. "You have a lot of questions don't you?"

"Uncle David says that it's good to have questions cos I have lots that I gotta learn."

"Uncle David sounds like a very clever man." Strauss nodded.

"Do you like Transformers?" Henry pushed himself up on his chair and returned his legs to their original position. "I do. They're really cool. Do you know what else I like?"

Strauss shook her head slowly, uncertain if she was even a part of this conversation anymore. "Why don't you tell me?"

"Aunt Emmy. She takes care of me cos my mommy went away. We play planes and painting and she reads stories to me before I go sleepin'."

She couldn't be sure, but she was certain that she saw a faint hint of sadness mar Henry's young features as he rambled his last sentence. Resting her arms against her desk and leaning forward, Strauss fired her own question. "Do you like living with Aunt.. Emmy?"

A huge grin beamed at Henry's small face and his eyes lit up the whole room as he nodded. "I love Aunt Emmy. My mommy loves Aunt Emmy too." His little face contorted into confusion as he spoke his next sentence. "I'm not sure Aunt Emmy loves my mommy though because she gets sad when I talk about her. She thinks I don't see it but I do."

Strauss was at a loss for words. For a four year old, this child was leaps and bounds ahead of where he should be mentally, and he clearly already had the profiler genes in him. Having said that, this topic of conversation needed changing. "Would you like to go exploring, Henry?"

**CM-CM-CM**

"Did Miss Jareau contact any of you while she was in the vehicle with Mr Watson? I mean, she had her phone with her didn't she? So why didn't she call you to give you her location once she had found that her son wasn't on the premises?"

"Isn't that two questions?" Rossi raised an eyebrow, determined not to be outsmarted by someone half his age.

"That's funny, Agent Rossi. Will it still be funny when you have to tell your friend that she's going to jail?"

A smug smirk remained at Rossi's lips as he rose from his seat, leant himself against his hands on the table in front of Agent Blakely. "That day is never going to come. You seem to have all the answers already, but I promise you, we are going to fight you on this and trust me, we are going to win. Put that in your little notebook." And without another glance, he left the room.

Five sets of eyes shot up at him expectantly as he wondered back into the bull pen and he stopped mid-stride at the sudden attention. He opened his mouth to ramble off some criticism about the guy in the room that he'd just left, but the hope in JJ's eyes stopped him. "It went well, JJ.

"Who's next?" She vaguely heard someone question, but the sound was drowned out easily by the noise in her own mind. It was sweet of Rossi to lie for her benefit, but she knew that it was just that – a lie. It _hadn't_ gone well, this _wasn't_ okay, this wasn't going to _be_ okay.

"Hey.." A voice came gently from beside her, and when JJ looked up, she was grateful for the soulful brown eyes staring back at her.

"Hey, you." She responded, a fake and almost defeated smile tugging briefly at her lips.

"Garcia is in there now. She said something about ripping him a new one, whatever that means."

A small laugh fell from JJ's lips as she focussed on something on the ground. "I almost feel bad for the guy."

"Oh, you should." Emily nodded. "I thought she looked angry when I used one of her fluffy pens and never returned it, so I dread to think how she's going to treat the guy that's messing with her girl."

"I'm _your_ girl." JJ's eyes met Emily once again and her buzzing mind eased at the sight of the full, genuine smile pulling at the brunette's lips and the fingers that laced with her once more.

She could do this. As long as she had her, she could do this.

**CM-CM-CM**

As they left the confines of her office, Strauss was a little taken aback by the small hand that linked itself with hers, but she had no more than a second to recognise her surprise before Henry's questions fired up again.

"Can we ride the elevator? My mommy lets me ride the elevator when we're at the mall if I'm good, and sometimes, when I've been a good boy at school, Aunt Emmy lets me ride _all_ the way to the top floor at her house and she doesn't even _live_ on the top floor."

A small foreign chuckle escaped thin lips once again; it surprised her how much she was beginning to enjoy the small boy's company. Her own children had long grown up and left home, and she had long forgotten what it felt like to be in the presence of such innocence – when nothing is tainted by fear, and all that exists is an intense curiousity about everything and a happiness that holds no reasoning. Four weeks ago, this child came very close to being killed, four weeks ago, everything that he knew was ripped from him, and yet here he was, with a huge grin on his face at the prospect of doing something that she did day in and day out on her way to her office.

"Well.." Strauss knelt down to Henry's level. "I bet you didn't know that the elevator here is magic."

Blue eyes widened excitedly as Henry shook his head.

"It is." Strauss nodded seriously. "But it's a secret, so you have to promise not to tell anyone."

"I promise." Henry held out his little finger for a pinky promise.

Her brow furrowed a little in confusion as she simply mimicked the young boy, holding out her pinky, and she smiled again when Henry entwined their little fingers and shook once. "Mmm.. I don't know. I'm not sure you're ready to ride the magic elevator."

"I am, I am." Henry jumped up and down, his little eyes widening further as he struggled to contain his excitement. "Why is it magic? Tell me, tell me!" He grinned before his mouth opened as far as it would go and his eyes widened further. "Is it made of ice-cream?"

A laugh fell from Strauss' lips once again, the third in thirty minutes, and probably the third in the past year of her existence. "It isn't. But it is the rule that you can't board this elevator unless you have ice-cream with you so I think we'd better take a trip to the cafeteria."

"Good thinking." Henry nodded. "One time there was a mister at the store and he got told to go home 'cos he didn't have a shirt on. Is it like that? I don't wana get sent home. I wana ride the magic elevator."

"Uh.. No.. Not really like that." Strauss smiled. "But we'll get some ice-cream just in case."

"Yes!" Henry jumped up excited once again, having seemingly long forgotten that the elevator was supposedly magic and was now more enticed by the prospect of having ice-cream in the morning.

**CM-CM-CM**

Garcia was beginning to get flustered. She had issues with authority, she always had, but she knew when she was right, and she was right right now. "You just-"

"Is it true that Agent Hotchner allowed Agent Jareau to visit Mr Watson at the prison, whilst knowing just how close she was to the case?"

Sudden confusion was evident on the redhead's face. Wasn't this supposed to be about JJ? "Wait, I thought-"

"Answer the question, Miss Garcia."

"No. No he did not let her." She realised her mistake as soon as the words her mouth, even before the agent in her presence confirmed it.

"So, Agent Jareau went off the rails, so to speak? She ignored her boss' orders and went along anyway without a care for the danger that she was putting herself and everyone else in?"

"It wasn't that simple, Sir." Garcia shook her head slowly, with no clue as to how to back-pedal out of the trap that she had just been lured into. She wasn't certain that there was a way – this guy seemed to be determined to only find evidence for a conclusion that he'd already drawn, rather than finding the truth of the situation.

"Well, yes, it is. Agent Hotchner didn't send her to the prison to speak with Mr Watson, so she recklessly did it off her own back. Does Miss Jareau often go against orders?"

"No." Her answer was instant.

"I don't think you're being completely honest with me, Miss Garcia." Agent Blakely rested his hands on the table in front of him. "But that is all for now. Could you send in Dr Spencer Reid, please."

"But you haven't allowed me to answer any questions." Garcia's eyes were wide.

"You've had your allotted time. Now please send in the next one."

_The next one? We're not cattle, you dumbass._ "With all due respect, and I'm not sure much is due, you are making a mistake. You are lucky to have JJ working for you and now you're going to kick her to the curb because she shot the man who _raped_ her."

Cocking his head to the side, Agent Blakely spoke again. "There's nothing in the autopsy report of Mr Watson having had sexual intercourse before being killed."

"Wh.." Garcia began, but stopped suddenly; her mind filling with the same guilt Emily's had as she entertained the possibility for just one second that JJ _had_ killed Percy for revenge. But it took no more than that second for something to pierce through her guilt. "I have worked with JJ for seven years. I've seen the pain in her eyes when we've helped a victim, because she knows better than any of us that we may have helped them, but there are thousands more just like them. She knows that, because they're sat on her desk waiting for her. It's the first thing that she sees in the morning, and the last thing that she sees at night, and yet she still comes to work with a smile on her face. JJ wouldn't hurt anyone unless they deserved it, and without her, this team is nothing. She is our back bone, she is the glue that holds us all together." Rising from her seat, Garcia shot one last look to the agent. "Rape isn't always penetration, Agent Blakely. You'd do well to remember that."

**CM-CM-CM**

Strauss' heart warmed in a way that she hadn't felt in years as she watched the small boy in her presence devour his ice cream, and even more so as he beamed up at her with a chocolate covered mouth once the elevator came to a stop and indicated their arrival on the top floor. "Ready?"

A small brow furrowed in confusion as he remembered what Strauss had said back at her office. "But I thought you said the elevator was magic."

"Oh it is, Henry." Stepping beyond the elevator doors, Strauss felt the small boys ice cream covered hand clasp with hers as she led them towards a door at the end of a short corridor. As they reached the door, she pushed it open a little and spoke again. "Are you _sure_ you're ready?"

"I'm ready, I'm ready." Henry jumped up and down excitedly once again, his mouth dropping as the door in front of him opened and daylight filtered in. "We're outside!"

"We are." Strauss spoke softly as they walked out onto the roof and towards the small wall trimming the edge, her face lighting up in a surprised mock gesture for the boy's benefit. "But Henry! Wait! What happened?"

His brow wrinkling, Henry looked down at himself. Aside from a little chocolate that had wound up on his shirt, he didn't quite understand what the old lady was looking at.

"You're a giant, Henry."

His eyebrows scrunched up further as he looked down at himself again. "Am not."

"You are! Look, look." Strauss gestured towards the small wall beside them, instinctively placing one arm across the wall in front of Henry as he leant against it, the other at his back to enable her quick reflex time should something go wrong.

Wide eyes beamed down from the top of the building, his innocent mind unable to comprehend how everything got so tiny. "I'm a giant!"

**CM-CM-CM**

"How long have you known Jennifer Jareau, Dr Reid?"

"About eight years." Spencer spoke quietly with a small nod.

"And how many times in those eight years have you questioned your colleagues judgement?"

Shaking his head slowly, his brow a little scrunched and his bottom lip pushing upwards as he contemplated his answer. "Never."

"Not even when her son was in danger, Dr Reid?"

"Well-"

"Would you say that Agent Jareau's frame of mind was unstable on the date of Percy Watson's murder and the days leading up to that?"

"Well, technically, the days leading up to that could encompass every day that JJ has been alive."

"Don't try to be clever, Dr Reid."

His brow wrinkled again. "I'm.. not." And he genuinely wasn't.

"Let me rephrase the question. Once Henry LaMontagne was taken, did JJ's frame of mind change?"

"Well of course it did. She'd lost her child. Studies show that-"

"So she wasn't of sound mind to be working, and yet Agent Hotchner still allowed her to work the case?"

"No." Spencer spoke simply. "She remained with us for her own safety, and also because she knew the case better than anyone, because she had lived it before. She only went to the prison when we ran out of any other options."

"That'll be all, Dr Reid."

"But I-"

"I said that'll be all."

"Ya know, I don't understand you guys." Reid began as he stood to his feet. "You claim that your job is to protect and serve, and yet it's you guys that she needs protecting from. Henry is back home safe, so is JJ, and I can honestly say that the world is a much better place without Percy Watson living in it."

"But that's not for you, or Miss Jareau, to decide though, is it?"

"Why not? It's for you to decide whether one of the most incredible people I have ever met should go to jail for doing her job and for protecting herself and her son. So why is it not for me to decide the fate of one of the worst child rapist's in history?"

"She wasn't doing her job, was she? She was acting unprofessionally and recklessly and because of that, a man is dead. Now, please leave and pass the message on to your boss that I wish to see him."

**CM-CM-CM**

"This is so cool!" Henry beamed as he peered over the roof of the FBI building. "But wait.. What happens when my mommy comes home? I won't be able to see her because I will be a giant and she will be tiny like a ant."

Her smile turning to a small frown, Strauss' heart sank a little. Strangely, it hurt her to know that his mom was actually in this very building, currently being judged on doing something that any human-being would have done. And little did Henry know, that after today, his mom may not actually be coming home. She finally broached the topic that she had been purposely diverting the small boy from all morning. "Do you miss your mommy, Henry?"

The little boy's smile faded and his shoulders scrunched into a small shrug.

"It's okay Henry, you are allowed to miss her."

"That's what Aunt Emmy says, but I don't want to miss her because she doesn't miss me."

Strauss' heart broke in two instantly at the small boy's words, and it took all her strength not to wrap her arms around him. "That isn't true, darling."

Turning a little, Henry's face turned more serious as he proposed his next question. "Then why hasn't she come home?"

"Because sometimes, Henry.. grownups can't always do what they want to do."

"Like eat candy before bed. I'm not posta do that."

"Yes Henry, just like that. Your mommy really, really wants to see you but she just isn't allowed to right now."

A big sigh falling from his small lungs, Henry contemplated Strauss' words carefully before he spoke, trying to place some kind of logic into them that his little mind would understand. "When I'm not posta have candy, it is because my mommy or Aunt Emmy says that I can't. So who is telling my mommy that she can't see me?"

That was a very good question. Who, realistically, had the right to do that? Something in Henry's logic pushed Strauss to make a sudden decision. "I just have to make a quick phone call Henry. Why don't you come sit over here and finish your ice-cream?" The last thing she wanted was to leave him and have something tragic happen; not after everything tragic that had _already_ happened.

**CM-CM-CM**

"Aaron." Agent Blakely grinned and reached out a hand that wasn't taken by the very stoic faced Aaron Hotchner.

"I'm not here for pleasantries. And I'm also not going to answer your questions, because we both know that you've already settled upon a conclusion."

Sitting back against his chair, Agent Blakely shrugged, only a hint of regret in his eyes. "It's protocol, Aaron. We need to make this disappear because it doesn't look good that one of our own went rogue and killed someone. It isn't the first time it's happened under your watch, either."

That was a low blow, but as he leant forward in his chair, he took his anger and placed it into something more productive. "Do you know why I gave Agent Jareau this job?"

"Why don't you enlighten me?" Agent Blakely spoke, curious as to where Aaron was going.

"Because she turned up seventeen hours late to her interview."

"Huh.." Agent Blakely smirked. "You are really not helping her cause."

"She turned up late, because there had been a car accident. A mother and son collided with a truck who's driver was too drunk to see that the light's had changed. The boy came out physically unharmed, but his mother did not. The paramedics wanted to call social services since the child had no family in the immediate area, so JJ stayed with him until his uncle arrived. She stayed with him to protect him from having anything more ripped away from him than already had been, and she did so despite knowing how difficult it is to get into this quite frankly bureaucratic system. So I don't need you to tell me that she doesn't always play by the rules, but if playing by the rules means that she winds up like you, then I'm glad that she doesn't. Because there is no one on this team with a bigger heart than her, and heart is what this whole pretentious establishment is lacking. We're meant to protect people, not penalise them for doing their job. So you can fire her, send her to jail even, but you can take my badge with you because I don't want any part in this anymore."

"Aaron-"

"What happened to you?" And that was the last thing to leave Agent Hotchner's lips as he left the room.

**CM-CM-CM**

"Hey, Aaron. How are things going down there?" Strauss spoke quietly into the phone, her eyes fixed firmly on the small boy currently devouring the remainder of his ice cream.

"_Did you know that they had already decided JJ's fate?" Hotch spoke, unconcerned for just how angry he seemed._

"No, Aaron. It wasn't like that. I was told that they'd give JJ a fair chance to prove herself." Strauss pressed her fingers to her forehead, a part of her feeling somewhat dumb for thinking that the guys up top would keep good on any word they spoke.

"_I don't believe that for a second."_

"Has JJ been interviewed yet?" Strauss purposely ignored the implied accusation in her colleague's words.

_With a sigh, Hotch spoke again. "Not yet. Emily is speaking with them now and then JJ."_

"Okay. Hold them off for me."

"_What?"_

"Just do it, Aaron." Strauss ended the call instantly, before she turned her attention to Henry. "Henry, sweetie. It's time to head back now."

**CM-CM-CM**

"What is your relationship to Miss Jareau, Agent Prentiss?" Agent Blakely questioned as he adjusted his glasses.

_There's nothing like jumping in at the deep end_, Emily thought as she leant forward in her chair, her entwined hands resting against the table. "She's my friend and colleague."

"Friend, Agent Prentiss?" The other agent raised his eyebrows as he jotted something to the notepad in front of him. "Isn't it true that Miss Jareau's son has been staying with you since she disappeared?"

"Yes, that is correct."

"Why is that? He has a father doesn't he? So why has he been staying with you?"

"As far as I'm aware, William LaMontagne is currently in England." Emily spoke calmly, though she was certain that if JJ had had any hope in this, she had just crushed it.

"That doesn't answer my question."

"Yes, it does." Emily spoke, a sudden anger in her words that she herself hadn't expected. "Henry's father disappeared before he was even born, there is absolutely no reason that he would care now. I made a promise to Jennifer that Henry would be taken care of by the people who love him, and I kept that promise. I will always keep that promise."

"You made a promise to Jennifer? Why would she make that request?"

_Oh fuck_. No, _that_ statement was the one that was going to crush any remnants of chance for JJ. For all intents and purposes, she knew that she had just given Agent Blakely reason to believe that JJ's actions really were premeditated and there was no way of backing out of that now. Opting to remain oblivious, Emily answered the question. "Because it's a part of this job. No one knows what tomorrow will bring, and she simply wanted to know that Henry would be well taken care of should the worst happen."

"Yes." The middle aged man began. "But that isn't what you meant, is it, Agent?"

Emily opened her mouth to speak but was cut off instantly; though, she found herself suddenly grateful for the interruption when the conversation took a different route.

"Do you believe that Agent Jareau killed Percy Watson in cold blood?"

"No." The answer was instant. "No, I don't."

"Even after he was the reason for her son's kidnapping? And despite the fact that he kidnapped her herself as a child? Don't you think she'd want revenge?"

"Wouldn't you?" Emily leant back, rested her elbows on the arm rests and clasped her hands together on her lap, her shoulders squaring as she spoke. "But wanting revenge, Agent Blakely, and pursuing revenge, are two completely separate things. JJ would never seek out violence, because she knows better than anyone that there is already-"

"Too much of it in the world. Yes, I know this, Agent Prentiss. Your friend already tried that approach."

Shaking her head slowly, Emily looked away and when her eyes returned, there was a determination in them that turned them almost black. "You don't know that Agent Blakely, because you don't see it. _Your_ job is to make _our_ job more difficult. And I get it, I get why you have to do what you do, but I assure you, you are fighting the wrong people."

**CM-CM-CM**

The three minute elevator ride back down to the third floor of the FBI building was quite possibly the slowest Erin Strauss had ever endured. It was complete anxiousness fuelling the tapping of her fingers against the bar that she was leant against; she needed JJ to see Henry before she went into that room, because at this point, she realised, there may never be another opportunity.

Sometimes she hated her job. She knew of the politics better than most, because she was forced to be a part of it every single day – and the hypocrisy was chokingly evident in times like these. They were covering their arses; that was the long and short of it. It wasn't about ensuring that JJ was fit to work, or confirming that jobs were being done correctly – it was about guaranteeing the safety of their own jobs, of their own reputations, proving themselves for that big promotion and forgetting why they even chose this career path in the first place.

"Where we going?"

A small voice broke her from her reverie, and her heart ached as she looked down at two bright blue eyes. He really had no clue what was _about_ to happen, what _had_ happened, and what had _been_ happening every day for the past month. A part of her longed to be that free again, that oblivious and wholly certain that everything would be just fine. Lifting the small boy easily into her arms, Strauss responded. "You'll see, sweetie."

**CM-CM-CM**

"Could you describe what you found when you arrived at Mr Watson's premises, please?" Agent Blakely purposely ignored Emily's words.

With a sigh, Emily shook her head slowly. She didn't want to answer this question, but she was also aware that it was a fairly good segue into just why JJ hadn't shot Percy in cold blood. "Nothing at first. My fellow agent, Derek Morgan, called us - myself, Agent Hotchner, Agent Rossi and a young rookie named James - around to the front of the house. It was there that I saw the body of Percy Watson. He was laid on his back, dirt on his knees, his legs awkwardly beneath him-"

"Like he had been shot execution style?" The agent interrupted, pissing Emily off enough for it to clearly show on her face.

"…like he had been sat on something, or _someone_, Agent Blakely."

"How could you know that?"

Now was the time to put her career choice to the test, to show what she had learnt over the years and display exactly why it was that she was so good at her job - as well as to give this guy a graphic glimpse of what they dealt with day in, day out, whilst he drove his shiny midlife-crisis-mobile back to his mansion and his Playboy wife. "The defensive wounds on his face, not to mention the sick smirk still present there told me that someone had tried to fight him off, and more than that, that he had enjoyed such a fight, that he got off on it. There was disturbed ground in front of his body that indicated another person's presence, and after considering the dirt upon his knees as well as the fact that this disturbed ground passed beneath his parted thighs, _that_ is how I came to the conclusion that he was sat on JJ - _Jennifer_ - pinning her to ground. His coveralls were half unzipped and there was a small wet patch against his crotch, which at first lead me to believe that he had indeed managed to do what he intended to do, but after having spoke with Miss Jareau, I learned that he thankfully hadn't gotten that far-"

"So, he didn't rape her?"

"Agent Blakely, if a guy came in here right now, pinned you to the ground and groped you in every place that he wished to no matter how much you protested.." Her mouth twisted as she enunciated every word perfectly, her dark eyes staring him down. "If he did so with a smirk on his face and got more excited each time you begged and pleaded with him to stop. If it was very clear that if you didn't do something drastic, he was going to rape you, _violate_ you, what would you do?"

The middle aged agent didn't have a response, not one that actually answered Emily's question anyway. "The truth of it, Agent Prentiss, is that you don't actually know what happened there, because you weren't there when it happened."

She couldn't help the incredulous laugh that escaped her lips. "Then you'd better shut down this whole unit right now. Because what I've just described to you is what we do day in, day out. It's our whole purpose. We figure out what happened based on what we see, what we read in another person's body language and actions. If you're telling me that because I wasn't actually there, I can't possibly know what happened, then what is the point of the BAU? Tell me that Agent Blakely."

**CM-CM-CM**

"We're fighting a losing battle, aren't we?" JJ spoke quietly, breaking the silence that lingered in the air as each agent waited impatiently for Emily's return.

"No, baby girl. They have to do their investigations otherwise they wouldn't be doing their jobs properly."

"Yes but he isn't investigating anything, is he? Every one of you is someone I would never want to mess with, and yet each of you have come out of that room looking like someone just stomped all over your dreams." JJ ran a hand through her brunette hair as she paced between the desks littered in the bullpen. "I need to go in there and just get this over with. He's probably tearing Emily to shreds, and for no reason since they've already made their damn decision."

From the elevator doors, Strauss could see JJ pacing frantically, the solemn look on the team's faces, and in an instant, she knew that she had made the right decision. "Henry." She spoke softly as she lowered the small boy to the ground, her right hand resting against the small of his back whilst she pointed with the other. "Do you recognise anyone in there?"

Henry squinted his eyes a little as he peered through the glass doors. "Yes, there's Uncle Derek and Aunt Penny and Uncle David and Uncle Aaron and Uncle Reid."

"Do you recognise anyone else?" She questioned further, knowing that the typically blonde woman's change of her colour may have thrown him off.

Back in the bull pen, JJ was still pacing, words spilling from her lips as soon as they entered her mind. "It was ridiculous to think that it would be any different. We all know how this place works."

"JJ." Morgan spoke as he noticed the two people stood beyond the glass doors.

"No Morgan, there's no point in pretending anymore. I thought we had a chance this morning but-" Two strong hands bracing suddenly against her arms and spinning her to face the entrance to the BAU stilled her words instantly; the view beyond the doors stilled her heart.

"Mommy!" Henry yelled as he broke free from Strauss and burst through the glass doors to the bull pen. It took approximately 1.3 seconds for him to make the ten steps to JJ and dive up into her arms, his little hands gripping at the back of her neck as she held him tight to her chest.

"Oh baby." She pressed several kisses to the side of his face in quick succession. "Mommy missed you so much." More kisses. "So, so much."

JJ couldn't work out if she wanted to laugh or cry, so she did both. She had gone through great lengths to avoid seeing Henry, and had had to spend most of the morning fighting the knowledge that he was in the same building. But now that she had him cradled into her chest, his baby clean scent filtering through her senses and the sticky chocolate mouth print now plastered against her shirt; she never wanted to be apart from him again. And she wouldn't be. Not this time.

Reluctantly handing him over to Garcia, JJ spoke. "Sweetie, mommy has to go somewhere." Fear welled up in the small boys eyes at JJ's words and she instantly spoke again to sooth him. "Baby. Baby, listen to me. I'm going to be right back, I promise you. Okay?"

JJ held out her pinky for Henry and the blonde boy gave a small nod as he entwined his little finger with his mom's. "Okay, mommy."

**CM-CM-CM**

"Agent Prentiss. You know as well as I do that this can't be left alone. She isn't going to jail, no lawyer in the country would go against her on this case, but we can't allow her to keep her job because-"

"Because it will make the FBI look bad. I've heard that already. You guys have already tried that approach." Emily's eyes stared fiercely as she mimicked the words that he himself had said just fifteen minutes prior.

Clearly not prepared to be outdone by her, he shot back his own bitter words. "It seems that you're rather familiar will the whole notion of going rogue, eh, Agent Prentiss? How _is_ Ian Doyle?"

She almost lunged across the table at him but somehow remained composed, however, when she opened her mouth to speak again, she was cut off by the door to their left flying open unceremoniously and a confident brunette striding in purposefully.

"Stand up." JJ commanded, placing herself directly in front of the middle-aged agent.

Flicking his eyes between JJ and Emily, the fair haired man tried to figure out what the hell was going on.

"I said stand up, agent."

"Agent Jareau, this is highly unorthodox. You will get your turn to speak and right now I am speaking with Agent Prentiss."

"Oh I'm done, trust me." Emily held out a hand and leant back in her chair, her eyes fixed firmly on the younger woman currently turning the guy in their presence to a bag of nerves.

Realising that JJ wasn't going to back down, Agent Blakely apprehensively rose to his feet, instinct forcing him to reach for his gun as the young brunette pulled open his jacket and removed his badge. "What are yo-"

"You don't deserve this." JJ spoke, her hand immediately reaching for the clip on his gun and removing the bullets before placing them on the table beside his badge. "And you don't need that. Now you don't work for the FBI, now you're just a normal human-being who doesn't have some bullshit politics to be concerned about. You have no badge to hide behind."

"Agent Jareau-"

"Tell me Agent, what is most important to you in this world?"

"What?" The fair haired man spoke, completely taken aback by this sudden turn of events.

"The question is simple, Sir. What do you value the most?"

"Uh.. my family?" Agent Blakely spoke the words more as a question than a statement, clearly showing that his response was obligated rather than genuine.

"We both know that that isn't true." JJ perched herself against the table, her hands resting either side of her against the wood as she spoke again. "Now tell me again, what do you value the most?"

With a sigh, the older agent forced himself to answer, a little shame evident in his voice. "Money.. My car, my house."

"I thought so. Would you like to know what is most important to me?" A small uncertain nod came from the guy stood before her; he was clearly still trying to wrap his head around what was happening, but she spoke anyway, gesturing her head behind her towards Emily. "She is. Would you like to know what else is important to me? Come with me."

Slowly, cautiously, the middle aged man followed JJ out of the conference room, a curious Emily not too far behind him.

"They are." JJ gestured towards the bull pen and the five agents and small boy waiting there. "You want to know what else is most important to me?" JJ turned back towards the middle-aged agent. "The pile of 124 case files currently sitting on my desk, and every family member linked to each of those files. The children who are currently out in this world scared and alone, and the parent's who aren't as lucky as I am to have their son or daughter back in their life. The brothers who have lost sisters, the grandparents who have lost grandchildren, the husband or wife, girlfriend or boyfriend who have lost their loved one. The people who have lost everything that ever meant anything to them."

"Every one of those things is something that I would fight to the death for, and that is exactly what I did twenty-six days ago. You want me to tell you that I regret it?" A small shrug jumped from JJ's shoulders. "Well no, I don't regret it. I don't regret it at all, and I would do it again tomorrow if I had the chance. Do you want to know why? Because I still have the strength to do so. It is our job to protect the people who can't protect themselves, the people who have lost everything or could lose everything. It is our job to ensure that children go to sleep at night, free from nightmares because they know that for every bad guy, there are nine," gesturing behind herself once again, JJ continued, strangely including Strauss in her tirade too, "good guys. It is our job to protect. It is _not_ our job to sit in a stuffy conference room and fight on the side of reputation. We should be fighting on the side of justice. So if you want to lock me away for protecting what I love the most, then go ahead. But if not, be sure to take your hypocrisy with you when you head back to your cosy corner office on the top floor, the one with the beautiful and severely ignorant and misguided view of this messed up world, and don't bother coming back down here until you're ready to face what it is that we do every single day."

"So what is it going to be, Agent Blakely?"


	14. Chapter 14

**Author's Note:** So here's a secret.. I actually uploaded these chapters some time in May. The day I uploaded them though, just so happened to be a day that FanFiction notifications were down, so I'm sure none of you realised that it had been updated. Since I've reread these final chapters and added a ton of content, I'm realising that that was a blessing in disguise. At the time I actually deleted them soon after uploading them because something didn't feel right. I'm glad that I did, because I'm far happier with what I've written now. So, there are two chapters after this that are already written and just need a little proofreading. I apologise for making you wait, and even more so if that now means that you have to reread the whole story again. But either way, I hope you enjoy. Be sure to let me know what you think. :)

* * *

_**Chapter Fourteen;**_** Heaven  
**

Nine sets of eyes stared expectantly, awaiting a response from the unwanted agent that they were almost certain would be a negative one. JJ certainly had a way with words, she always had, but there was too much riding on this decision to get ahead of themselves and assume that she had gotten through to him.

His aged face remained vacant at first, giving nothing away to the nine people in his presence – but he couldn't hide the strange warmth in his chest; the foreign sense of compassion, pride, admiration that was a direct result of their camaraderie. Somewhere, very deep down, he found a memory laced with reason – the reason that he had joined the FBI, the reason that he had lost sight of many years ago. Stepping forward, he finally spoke. "Miss Jareau," he held out his hand, "you are a credit to the bureau. And a credit to them."

JJ looked to the agent's hand before following his gaze to her family and friend's surrounding her. "They're a credit to me, Sir." Still, she didn't take his hand, and after a second, the older man understandingly pulled it away. "They believed in me when I didn't even believe in myself, when _you_ didn't believe in me. I'm lucky every single day because I have them in my life and whatever decision you make, I can take it, _because_ I have them. I'm not naive enough to think that I can set the world to rights with a few eloquently spoken words, but I do believe that we do some wonderful things with this unit and I never want to stop being a part of that."

"You won't have to, Miss Jareau. Honestly, the director had already made his decision. Granted, it's for reasons that are definitely nothing to do with your benefit and are more to do with the Bureau's reputation, but he had already made his decision nonetheless."

JJ was confused. Did this mean she was fired or..

"Your job is safe, Agent Jareau." He purposely addressed her by her professional title. "We had to see if you were still able to do your job, and I think you just proved that wonderfully. Of course, I wouldn't recommend talking to someone of authority that way in the future, but you've definitely proved yourself. Your badge and gun will be returned to you by Monday morning."

"I.." JJ was at a loss for words – a very untypical trait for a communications liaison. Reaching out her hand, she spoke again. "Thank you, Sir."

"You're more than welcome." Agent Blakely spoke, taking the offered hand before disappearing into the conference room to collect his belongings.

"Congratulations, Jayje." Morgan smiled as he pressed a kiss to the younger woman's head and ruffled Henry's hair. "I have some candy in my desk with this little guy's name on it." The dark agent smiled, purposely trying to give JJ a moment to reflect on what had happened and speak without any little ears listening. "What do ya say, Henry?"

A small brow furrowed in contemplation; of course he wanted the candy, but a part of him was wholly afraid that his mother was going to disappear again if he let go of her. "Um.."

"Honey, I will be right here." JJ held out her pinky for Henry to latch onto. "I promise that I'm not going anywhere."

"Okay, mommy." Henry beamed, taking his mother's words at face value without another thought as he wriggled out of her arms and took ahold of Morgan's hand.

"Welcome back, Jayje." Garcia enveloped JJ in a big bear hug, almost lifting her from the ground.

"It's good to have you back." Reid spoke quietly with a smile and Rossi nodded his head in agreement.

"It is." Strauss chimed in as she turned to leave, but a hand stopped her before she made it too far.

"Ma'am, I.." JJ began. The typically cold and distant relationship she, and all of them, had had with Erin Strauss over the years left her very uncertain as to how she should show her gratitude for what she had done, but when words failed her, she found herself flinging her arms around the older woman's neck and speaking with sincerity. "Thank you. Thank you so much."

Strauss was a little taken aback, uncertain as to what was happening, but within a second she allowed her arms to wrap around JJ. "Any time, Agent Jareau." After a moment, Strauss finally stepped back and firmly into the character that JJ had grown to know and.. hate, over the years. But there was something different in the older woman's eyes, even as she spoke, as well as the use of her nickname, that told her something had changed. "I don't think I need to tell you not to pull anything like this again. I will see you Monday, JJ."

**CM-CM-CM**

"Where's Hotch?" JJ questioned some time later once the team was done reflecting on the past four weeks of their life, and more specifically, the past four hours.

"He was here a second ago.." Emily spoke as she looked around mindlessly. "Perhaps he's in his office." She looked back to JJ and instantly recognised the look in her eyes. "You should go speak with him. Henry is fine with us, sweetie. Don't worry."

JJ nodded slowly before making her descent up the steps towards Hotch's office. She knew that she had disappointed him, had caused him unnecessary stress, and such knowledge made the three seconds that it took to reach his door the longest that she had ever endured. Knocking gently, she opened it and stepped inside once a voice beyond the door acknowledged her presence. "Sir-"

"Close the door and take a seat, JJ." Hotch spoke without looking up from the papers in front of him. "You have mandatory counseling starting Monday which you will attend twice a week until I am satisfied. I can't keep you out of the field because we need you, but I assure you, I would be if that was an option." Still, his eyes hadn't looked up from his papers. "As for you and Emily.."

JJ's heart jumped to her throat. She had been so overwhelmed by recent events that she hadn't even stopped to remember their need to remain professional and subtle – even when talking to the director's assistant. She had basically admitted, to everyone that should be kept in the dark, that her and Emily were far more than platonic, and had done so without a thought for the repercussions.

Hotch finally looked up, a faint twinkle in his eyes. "I think it's the best decision that you've ever made. Aside from coming home, of course. But I think Emily played a big part in that too."

JJ visibly breathed a sigh of relief.

"As long as it doesn't affect either of your ability to do the job, there won't be any issues, but I'll be watching you both like a hawk."

"Yes, Sir." JJ spoke, trying to suppress a smile.

"Good. Now you can leave. Take Emily with you, I think the two of you have a lot to discuss." Hotch spoke, a glimmer of something else entirely in his eyes. "She's a good one, Jayje. She isn't _him_."

"I know.." JJ spoke with certain eyes. "I know, Sir."

With a curt nod, Hotch spoke again, his eyes returning to his papers before he was even done talking. "Good. I'll see you Monday."

JJ rose from her seat, stopping with her hand against the door handle to speak again. "Sir.." She paused for a moment until Hotch's eyes met hers. "Thank you."

**CM-CM-CM**

"Do you think Hotch genuinely didn't need us, or was he trying to get rid of us?" Emily questioned as the two women walked out of the elevator and into the parking lot, Henry holding tight onto their hands and skipping between them.

"Perhaps a bit of both." JJ's face scrunched a little. "Though, probably more of the latter."

Emily laughed. "That's what I thought."

"Mommy.." Henry spoke as the three came to a stop at Emily's car.

"Yes, sweetie."

"Can we go to the park? I have something to show you!" The small boy jumped up excitedly.

Receiving a quick nod from Emily, JJ spoke. "I think that sounds like a wonderful idea." And it really did. After the month that she had had – after the month that all of them had had – the thought of spending a few hours doing something as simple as taking a trip to the park with Emily and Henry truly seemed like heaven to JJ. "We should stop by home first though. Mommy needs a change of clothes, and I think we should rustle up a picnic. How does that sound?"

"That sounds good cos I gotsta get my ba-"

"You'll ruin the surprise, Henry." Emily shook the small boy's hand to get his attention and stop his rambling. She knew what he wanted to show JJ; it was something that had filled her own heart with pride a week ago when he finally got it and honestly, she couldn't wait for JJ to see too.

His little eyes widening, Henry pursed his lips and ran his finger along them like he was zipping them closed, before twisting at the corner to mimic a lock and throwing away the fake key. "My lips are sealed."

Both Emily and JJ laughed at the small boy's clearly unrecognised mistake in his gesture.

"Almost, sweetie." Emily spoke with a smile as she unlocked the car door. "Come on, hop in."

**CM-CM-CM**

"Are you sure you're ready for this?" Emily spoke quietly as she pulled up outside JJ's house.

"I have to be. I can't stay away forever, you only have so many clothes that don't make me look like a mini you." JJ winked as she unclipped her seat belt and exited the car to help Henry out of his seat.

Emily knew that the joke was purposely made to hide fear, but she took it nonetheless and exited the car. There was clear apprehension in JJ's steps as they walked up the driveway, and the brunette purposely laced her fingers with the younger woman's as Henry jumped down from her arms and ran for the door.

"Hey Henry, not so fast." JJ grabbed the little boy's arm and pulled him back as the front door was opened and he darted instantly for the stairs. It was so irrational, but she was afraid, terrified even, of the small boy being alone in his bedroom.

Noticing the look on JJ's face, Emily nodded her head and watched as the blonde woman finally, reluctantly, relinquished her grasp on Henry and allowed him to continue on up the stairs; only speaking once the little boy was out of ear shot. "Garcia and I already checked the place. He's perfectly safe, JJ."

With a sigh, JJ walked through to the living room and flopped down on the sofa. "I know, it's ridiculous. But I can't help it, Em. I'm terrified of losing him again. Of losing all of you again."

"Listen to me, Jayje." Emily knelt down, resting her hands on JJ's thighs. "You are loved, _so_ loved. We're a family, all of us – you, me, him, the team. We're not going anywhere. You never have to be afraid of that. Okay? And even if you are, I will be here to remind you that there's no need."

With a genuine smile making it's presence known in her eyes, JJ spoke. "Hotch was right about you."

"Why what did he-" Emily stopped as a smirking JJ moved from the sofa and headed for the stairs. "Hey, you can't say that and just disappear, Jareau! What did he say about me?" Jumping up to her feet, Emily followed in the direction that JJ had just headed. "Hey, unfair!"

**CM-CM-CM**

"How the hell is it this warm today?" JJ spoke as she, Emily and Henry walked across the grass and in the direction of their favourite spot an hour later.

"Don't complain." Emily smiled.

"Yeah mommy, don't complain!" Henry spoke with a smile, his backpack bouncing against his back as he skipped alongside the two women.

"Oh so you're both ganging up on me now?" JJ feigned hurt. "Maybe I should just-" The blonde stopped instantly as something came into her line of sight. "What are they.."

"I thought you could use a day with your family." Emily smiled. "I made a call to Garcia and she worked her magic to get them all out of the stuffy office for the rest of the day. They're apparently at some conference here in DC and unfortunately won't be in for the rest of the afternoon."

"Emily.." JJ spoke softly, so overwhelmingly grateful that she was at a complete loss for words.

"Mommy, it's Jack! Can I go play? Can I?" Henry bounced as he caught site of the small, dark haired kid running around with Hotch.

"Ye-" JJ hesitated for a moment – she really had to get used to allowing Henry a little freedom; she couldn't keep him on a leash for ever because of her own fears. "Yes. Just no wandering off and you listen to Uncle Aaron, okay?"

"Okay, mommy!" Henry yelled as he ran off in the direction of Hotch and Jack.

"Come on." Emily spoke, grabbing JJ's hand and leading her over to the four agents currently sat beneath a large oak tree.

It was thirty minutes later when Henry finally finished causing chaos with Hotch and Jack, and JJ had loved being witness to every second of it – every second of _all_ of this.

Laying beside her on a sun lounger as colourful as it's occupant, was her best friend and self-proclaimed tech goddess; sipping on a glass of lemonade and drooling over a topless Morgan as he arm wrestled with Reid. Somewhere by the small table of food, beneath the shelter of the large tree, was Rossi, making notes for his new book and not-so-inconspicuously handing Henry an extra donut each time JJ told the little boy that he didn't need anymore sugar. And on her left side, was Emily - beautiful, incredible, perfect, Emily - leant back against the tree behind her, a Kurt Vonnegut book in her hand, and a small smile playing against her lips. It was perfection; a very rare glimpse of normality that each of them seldom got to be a part of and she couldn't help the content smiles playing against her lips.

"Aunt Emmy?" Henry spoke as he bounded over.

"Yes, sweetie." Emily responded instantly, holding her thumb against the page that she was reading as she turned the book face down in her lap.

"We gotsta show mommy." He spoke with expectant eyes.

"Oh, we do." Emily closed her book completely, concern for losing her page long forgotten. "Why don't you go get it."

Running back over to where Hotch was still running around with Jack, Henry picked up his backpack and dug out a baseball and child-sized glove, along with a slightly larger adult sized one, before darting back over to Emily.

"Mommy! Mommy! Watch!" Henry yelled as he handed Emily the ball and adult-sized glove and ran several feet away.

"I'm watching, honey." JJ spoke with a smile, laughing softly when the small boy parted his legs and crouched a little, resting his hands against his knees. "You look like you're getting the hang of that."

The small boy remained focused, oblivious to his mother's comment as he trained his eyes on the ball in Emily's hands.

"It only took 103 attempts and a very tired Aunt Emmy." Emily rolled her eyes and smiled as she turned back to Henry and tossed the ball in his direction, which he immediately caught, almost dropped, and then grasped tightly hold of again as he jumped up and down on the spot.

"Did ya see that mommy? Did ya see? I caughted it!" The blonde boy grinned as he ran over to JJ and jumped into her lap.

Yes, this really was heaven. Complete heaven. But like most things heavenly..

"He sure has grown up."

The smile fell from each of their faces as they turned towards the voice. JJ wrapped her arms around Henry a little tighter, Emily protectively stood to her feet, as did Rossi, Morgan, Reid and Hotch, and Garcia simply leant forward in her sun lounger, dropping her shades to give the unwanted visitor the best evil glare that she could muster.

"Will?"


	15. Chapter 15

**Author's Note:** This is the penultimate chapter, guys. You should have the final one later today and from there I will be concentrating on While You Were Sleeping. Despite having promised myself that this was going to be my final Emily/JJ fic, I just can't bring myself to walk away. There's something about the characters of Emily Prentiss and Jennifer Jareau that sends my muse into a frenzy, so I do have another idea for a story somewhere at the back of my imagination, but it's likely going to be pretty dark and there will be no case involved. I secretly hate writing cases (I'm sure it shows). Anyway, I hope you enjoy this chapter as much as I enjoyed writing it. Reviews = smiles! So please, make me smile! :)

* * *

_**Chapter Fifteen; **_**So Fucking Lucky**_**  
**_

"You have five seconds to disappear before I _make_ you disappear." Morgan growled protectively as he took a step towards Will, but JJ stopped his advances.

"Wait, Morgan." Standing to her feet, JJ handed Henry to Emily and placed herself directly in front of her team. She spoke again, her words aimed at Morgan as well as the guy who had destroyed her grasp on trust for all these years. "I can handle this."

Will eyed the eight people behind JJ, a little intimidated but that didn't stop him from stepping closer to the now brunette and pressing his hand against her arm. "Chere.."

JJ shook her arm free and spoke firmly. "Why are you here?"

"I.." Will looked once more to the team before whispering. "Do you think we could do this somewhere else?"

"Whatever you have to say, you can say here."

"Very well." Will nodded, taking a step back and standing firm in a gesture of strength that he really didn't possess under this circumstance. "I spent the past five weeks in London, so you can imagine my surprise when I'm waiting for my second flight Philadelphia to New Orleans and see on the news that a _Media Liaison's son was taken_. And you can imagine my surprise even more when I realise that absolutely no one bothered to tell me about this. That no one bothered to tell me that _my son_ had been kidnapped. And-"

"Woah, let me stop you there." JJ waved a dismissive hand. "No one bothered to tell you _what_?"

"What?" Will spoke incredulously. "Are you seriously gonna deny it happened? Your face was all over CNN, JJ!"

"Oh, no." JJ spoke calmly. "It definitely happened. I just find your use of the word _son_ to be ironic. Was he your son when he turned one? Or two? Or three? Or four? Was it you who taught him to catch a ball? Or that there are no monsters in his closet? Or that it's okay to ask questions and that magic really does exist? Have you ever painted with him and held no care for the multi-coloured hand prints that wound up on your designer clothes? Has your apartment ever been in complete disarray because there's a four year old who runs around behind you undoing everything that you just tidied? Have you ever allowed him to sleep in your bed and disrupt your sleep simply because he's upset? Have you ever held him and told him that you love him? Have you ever loved him at all?"

"But I.."

"No buts, Will." JJ allowed her hands to fall to her sides as she took another step forward. "I am _done_ taking excuses from people, I am _done_ allowing other people to control my life. I am done allowing _you_ to control my life and my heart and any other part of me. I don't need you, and neither does Henry. I think it's best that you leave."

"You can't raise that kid alone, JJ!" Will yelled to JJ's retreating form, continuing when she stopped mid step. "You _need_ me."

It wasn't Will's words that stopped JJ, but instead, the look on her little boy's face as she turned around. He did not need to hear this. "Why don't you guys go get some ice-cream? Doesn't that sound good, Henry?" She spoke with a smile that was intended to reassure, but considering the looks on each of her family's faces, she knew that she hadn't achieved it.

"JJ.." Emily spoke nervously in a hushed voice. "You can't do this again."

"I'm not doing this again. There's just someone who doesn't need to hear this conversation."

Emily knew that that someone was Henry, but she couldn't help but feel that maybe it was herself. Did JJ want her gone so that she could fix the past with Will? With a sigh she nudged Henry further on her hip and walked silently passed JJ, her eyes directly meeting Will's as she headed to the ice-cream stand that was situated close enough to still be in sight but far enough away to be out of earshot.

"Guys, could you leave us too, please?"

"Heh, are you kidding?" Morgan laughed humourlessly. "I am not leaving you with this pri-"

"Morgan." Hotch snapped, remembering that his own son was there. "Let's go. All of you, that's an order."

After every member of the team had filtered passed him, each with their own threatening look of disapproval, Will felt suddenly brave once again and wasted no time in stepping closer to JJ. "Come on, chere.. Don't you remember how good we were? How good I made you feel?"

The way that he winked as he spoke the last part made JJ want to throw up but instead she laughed. Just laughed.

"W-what's so funny?"

"No, nothing, it's just.." She couldn't help it; another burst of laughter jumped from her lips. "Oh, Will.. Come sit with me."

Will watched completely dumbfounded as JJ walked away and took a seat beneath the tree before he followed her, sitting himself down on the ground beside her. He looked down at his dirt covered hands, his face crumpling up in disgust before he wiped them on his pants. Clearly he wasn't one with nature.

"Do you know how many nights I cried after Henry was born? Hoping and praying that you'd just magically reappear?"

"Oh, chere-"

"No." JJ pushed his hand away and silenced him as soon as he began. "I think you're misunderstanding me. I spent so long wishing for you, pining over you, _missing_ you. I even gave Henry your surname on his birth certificate in the hope that one day, you'd return to make us a real family. I couldn't talk about you because it hurt so damn much. I kept my distance from any kind of romantic entanglement because I was so afraid to allow someone else into my heart. Because I was so certain that one person already held my heart and that that someone was you. Because I was so hopeful that I still held _your_ heart."

"You do, JJ. You always had my heart." Will spoke in a soft drawl, trying desperately to quell what he thought was still JJ's fears. "I'm back and I'm not going anywhere. We can be a family now. You can have the family you always wanted."

"The family I always wanted.." JJ trailed of dreamily with a gentle nod as she watched her team in the distance. "It's funny that. There was one time when I genuinely did believe that a real family consisted of man, wife, and child. Ya know, the typical nuclear family along with the dog and the white picket fence. And there was a time when I would have given everything for that. _Everything_."

Will began instantly, totally missing JJ's point or not even bothering to look for it. "You don't have to give anything for it. I'll even move here. You can keep your job and we can buy a house, any house you want. I'll stay home with the boy and-"

"The boy's name is Henry." JJ shot back before looking back to the team and continuing. "And as for a family.. I have all the family I need. And so does Henry. He has uncles who teach him everything that his father should have. He has an aunt who spoils him rotten and a cousin who treats him like a brother. He has a mother who.." JJ's words disappeared as she watched Henry in the distance, spilling his ice cream onto a laughing Emily's crisp shirt; and she smiled. A real, genuine smile. "He has _two_ mothers. Two mothers who would defend him with their life, two mothers who will love him until the day they die and would do anything to keep him safe, happy, and healthy."

"Two.. What?" Will trailed off as his eyes followed JJ's gaze directly to Emily. "Oh, you have got to be kidding me! My god, Jennifer, you are pathetic. You get your heart broken once and you swear off men altogether?" Will scoffed as he moved himself almost directly in front of JJ in a threatening gesture. "No, it's not happening. She isn't having anything to do with my son's life. I'm not having him grow up thinking it's okay to be.. like _that_."

"You really should stop throwing that word 'son' around." JJ spoke calmly but firmly as she stared him down; his threatening gesture not even remotely having the desired effect. "And no, I haven't sworn off men. Just one man in particular. But you know what? If she would have me.." Her eyes helplessly floated back to Emily. "I would swear off men for the rest of my life for her. Ya know why?"

"Because she brain-washed you? Because she saw her chance and wormed her way into your life? God, she even got you to dye your hair that horrid colour. You are not gay, Jennifer. You forget that I've had sex with you. I know how much you enjoy being fucked.. I know how much you enjoy coc-"

"Oh, Will." JJ shook her head. "I don't need a man for any of that, and I certainly don't need _you_ for any of that. Besides, I thought I loved you. Of course I'd pretend that it did anything for me."

Will's face flushed red at realising that he really didn't have any control anymore. "Jennifer, what has she _done_ to you? This isn't you. This isn't the woman I fell in love with."

"Good!" JJ laughed, happy that he was finally getting the point. "I'm _glad_ I'm not that woman anymore. I was fucking miserable. And to answer your question.. She's changed my entire world. She's shown me that I _can_ trust people. She's shown me that it _is_ possible for sex to not be enjoyed, rather than an endurance that you just long to be over." She could see the visible flame of anger in Will's features burst alight even brighter at that last sentence and it spurred her on. "She's shown me that I am _not_ pathetic. That actually, I'm strong and more than capable of being happy by myself. But you know what.. I don't want to be happy by myself. I want to be happy with her. Because there isn't a moment in her presence where I _don't_ feel happy, and safe, and loved."

"You're not doing this, JJ. You are not taking my son away from me. I will drag you through the courts if i have to. How do you think that would turn out if they found out that you'd killed a man and abandoned the kid for weeks on end?" He saw the faint question in JJ's eyes and continued. "Oh yeah, I know about that. I have friends in high places too, Jennifer. And mark my words, I will use every single one of them to keep you from taking my boy away."

"I didn't take him away, Will. He was there all along, you just didn't want him." JJ spoke calmly to Will's back as he stood to his feet; hiding the nerves that she felt at his threats. "So.. why now? What suddenly changed?"

Will stopped in his tracks, cranked his neck to the side briefly and when he turned back to face JJ, there were tears in his eyes.

Something had changed, something was different and she found herself standing to her feet and reaching out for him. "What changed, Will?

"Th-the reason.." Will stuttered through the tears that he was desperately trying to erase. "The reason I was in London is because my girlfriend lives there. She's pregnant. _Was_ pregnant. She.."

"Oh god." She hated the man, but she wouldn't wish that on any human-being. "How?"

"The doctors don't really know." He spoke as he took up one of the seats around the picnic table and brushed a hand through his mousey hair before shrugging. "Apparently sometimes it just happens."

"I'm so sorry, Will." And she was. She genuinely was.

"You don't need to say that. But that's why.." He looked up to her, his jaw locked and his tears firmly held back. "That is why you'll be hearing from my lawyer. I've lost one kid, I'm not losing another."

JJ looked down and shook her head slowly before looking back to him. Could she rely deny Will his son when he had already lost one child? But.. "Do you want Henry in your life because you want him in your life, or because he's your chance to fix something that you had no control over?" When Will didn't answer, she took his hand in hers and spoke again. "Because, Will.. If it isn't the former, I'm afraid my position still stands. You are not using my son to fix your pain. Because it _won't_ fix your pain. All it will do is confuse him and make _him_ endure your pain when he's questioning why his daddy won't play with him, or hold him, or look at him like he loves him. All it will do is make _him_ hurt when you disappear again because if you don't want him in your life for genuine reasons, then we both know that you _will_ disappear again."

She was afraid, honestly - despite his absence throughout the whole of Henry's life, she knew that he still had a very strong case against her in the eyes of the law - but when Will sobbed again and indicated that she was right, that she had gotten through to him, she spoke again. "You need to make a decision right now, and a definitive one. If you genuinely want to be a father to my son, and I mean a real father who is _present_, then I will take you over and introduce you to him right now. But if you can't honestly say that.. then you need to leave. And _you_ will hear from _my_ lawyer. You will sign a contract that will cut all paternal rights and your name will be removed from his birth certificate. There will be no more child maintenance checks, no more of these visits, nothing. But whichever one you choose, it is all or nothing. You can't straddle the line and have both. So which is it going to be?"

**CM-CM-CM**

"Hey, you." Emily spoke softly as she found JJ leant against the door frame to her guest room, watching the small boy sleeping in there.

"Hey." JJ smiled genuinely. "I just can't seem to tear myself away."

Wrapping her arms around JJ's waist and resting her chin against the younger woman's shoulder, Emily responded. "I get that. I'd watch him for hours on the nights when I.."

JJ turned instantly as Emily faltered, draping her arms over the brunette's shoulders and looking honestly into soulful brown eyes. "Hey.. I'm home. And I'm never leaving again." It was in that instant that JJ realised that she had apologised to everyone – everyone _except_ for Emily. "I am so sorry, Emily. I.." Shaking her head slowly, JJ looked down to the ground as she realised that she didn't have the words to encompass just how sorry she really was.

Placing her fingers against JJ's chin, Emily lifted the younger woman's gaze. "You never need to be sorry for what you did. I would have done the same if I was in your position. And you also don't need to be sorry if.. If.. Ya know. I know Henry needs a father and.."

Stuttering was not a typical Emily Prentiss trait.

She'd managed to ignore it all day; managed to push out her thoughts and accept that whatever happens from here just.. happens. She wanted to believe that JJ had meant what she said; that she genuinely did love her, and more than that, that she loved her _enough_. But when compared with the prospect of having a real, proper family, Emily was certain that she would never be enough. So she had made the most of her short time with Henry as they ate ice-cream, knowing almost certainly that it would be the last real chance that she had to spend with the boy, and she resigned herself to the fact that the day had finally arrived; her luck had finally run out.

JJ smiled. Just smiled. "I love you." She pressed her lips to a confused looking Emily and spoke again before turning back to face her son. "I love you, so much."

"I.." Emily really was confused. "I love you, too?" It was more of a question than a statement, but she digressed willingly as Henry rolled over and away from them in his sleep, kicking the comforter off of most of his body and star-fishing out across the bed. "That is one tired little boy."

"Yup. It's all that fresh air." JJ ran her hands over Emily's arms before diverting the topic back in the direction that it needed to go; testing the waters, so to speak. "He loves you, ya know. He wouldn't stop talking about you when I tucked him in. He made me promise that when we go home, you'll still come round to play catch with him."

"I'll always come round to play catch with him." It wasn't what she wanted to say, but what she wanted to say was far too premature and she knew it – even with the events of the past month. Relinquishing her hold on JJ, the sadness in her chest at the prospect of Henry and JJ leaving taking her by surprise, Emily spoke again. "Well, after running around with your beautiful four year old all day.." Her use of the word 'your' pained her more than she had expected. "I'm exhausted. Are yo-"

JJ grabbed the brunette's disappearing arms and wrapped them tight around her waist before speaking simply."I should get the paperwork through from my lawyer at some point over the next couple of days."

"The paperwork?" Emily turned to face JJ's profile, unsure whether to smile along with her smirking lover or be concerned for the presence of that smirk.

"Yep." JJ nodded before clarifying; the disappointment that she had recognised in Emily's previous words fueling her. "The paperwork that severs any custody rights that Will has over Henry. In a couple of days, Will will no longer legally be his parent."

"Wow.. How did you.." Emily shook her head, a genuine concern for the answer to that question filling her chest.

"I just appealed to his human side. Apparently he actually has one."

"And.. And _you_?" No, it was the answer to _that_ question that she was most concerned about.

"Me.." JJ turned and laced her arms around Emily's neck once again. "Well, I told him that my heart is with someone else."

"Oh yeah?" Emily raised her eyebrow, relieved as she she linked her arms behind JJ's back and pulled her closer. "You should tell me about that someone else."

JJ smiled as Emily pressed her lips to her jawline, her neck. "Well.. she's pretty great. Pretty perfect, actually."

"Yeah?" Emily encouraged, somewhat distracted by the soft skin beneath her lips.

"Oh, definitely. And she.." JJ paused to giggle as Emily's thumbs brushed over the sensitive area of her rib cage. "She makes me happy. Oh so happy. She makes me certain that I can accomplish anything and that, even if I get it wrong, she'll still be stood right by my side fighting my corner."

"Always.." Emily stilled her ministrations and pressed her lips gently to JJ's. "She will always fight your corner, JJ."

"I know." JJ smiled. "And that's what got me thinking about this empty space that's going to be alongside my name on Henry's birth certificate."

Emily's heart stopped. She was certain that JJ was about to tell her that she planned to put Reid or Morgan or one of the other guys down as Henry's adoptive parent, and she knew that that was a good thing - a great thing even - so she hated the jealousy and disappointment that hummed deep in her heart. But she laughed nonetheless. "Oh, there's going to be fights over that one. You gonna create some kind of triathlon-type tests for them to compete in in order to win the title?"

"No." JJ's face turned serious, somewhat disappointed that Emily seemingly didn't want what she had been so certain she would be overjoyed about; and her voice dropped to a whisper as she spoke again and turned away. "I was going to put your name down."

"My name? But.." Emily's mind trailed off. It wasn't that she wasn't happy, just a little overwhelmed over her disappointed certainty being shattered in the blink of an eye and it was taking her a moment to process the information. "Doesn't it need to be a guy? Like, doesn't he need a father?"

"Nope." JJ sighed as she leant against the door frame once again without the heat of Emily's body behind her. "Besides, he has a father. Several of them, in fact. They double as the best uncles in the world." JJ sighed once more, feeling incredible dumb. "I'm sorry if that idea was too much. I can leave it blank. It really doesn-"

"I'll do it." Emily spat out suddenly, a huge grin forming on her face as JJ turned to face her with a questioning eyebrow. "I mean, I'd love to. I would love to, Jayje. I.. I would love to."

"Really?" JJ smiled slightly, trying to suppress most of it in case she had gotten it wrong.

"Really, really." Emily pulled JJ into her arms before pressing her lips to JJ's soft skin once more, whispering between each kiss. "I would love to."

"Wait, Em.." JJ stilled Emily's movements and smiled inwardly at the terrified look on the brunette's face before whispering. "If you're going to keep doing that, I need to close the bedroom door._ Our _son doesn't need to see what I'm about to do to his momma_."_

"Oh yeah?" Emily smirked as JJ pulled the guest bedroom door almost the whole way closed and nudged both of them back towards Emily's room. "_Our_ son? I like that."

"Hmm.." JJ hummed as she nudged the master bedroom door closed behind them, her hands dipping immediately beneath Emily's shirt and her lips pressing in brief kisses to her crimson lips. "Not as much as you're going to like this."

Emily opened her mouth to speak but gasped instead as JJ's hand ghosted the underside of her breast through her bra. "I.. I don't know."

"Are you _challenging_ me, Ms Prentiss?" JJ raised her eyebrow as she sat Emily on the edge of the bed and removed her shirt before pulling away her jeans and bra too.

"Depends.." Emily lifted JJ's tank top and pressed her lips to the taut abdomen that was at just the right level with her wanting mouth. "Are you up for the challenge?"

"You have no idea." JJ spoke breathlessly, taking Emily's hand and dipping it beneath her skirt to press it to her own heat that showed just how 'up to the challenge' she was.

Emily groaned unashamedly as her fingertips felt heated liquid even through the material of JJ's panties. "Is this all for me?"

"Always." JJ breathed as she moved Emily's hand against her.

Emily watched JJ. Just watched. Basked in those heavy eyelids and luscious, pink, slightly parted lips as the still-brunette woman ground herself against the hand that she herself was in control of. "You're so beautiful."

JJ smiled through uneven breaths. "You make me _feel_ beautiful.."

"And I hope that I never stop." Emily pressed her lips to JJ's tummy once more whilst her hands moved to work the younger woman's tank top further up her torso until JJ took the hint and removed it along with her bra. "I _promise_, I will never stop."

JJ gasped as Emily's wandering fingers dipped beneath the sides of her panties and pulled them to the ground, and she moved to remove her skirt but Emily stopped her.

"No, no. Leave that on."

"Who knew that Emily Prentiss has a skirt fetish?" JJ raised her eyebrow as she knelt down and parted Emily's thighs, running one single finger along the brunette's panty-covered slit as she looked up into dark eyes. "Who knew that a woman in just a skirt and heels could make her _this_ wet?"

"Not any woman, JJ." Emily gasped for a second time, her head falling back as she spoke again. "Just you. Only you."

JJ smiled as she hooked her fingers beneath Emily's panties and pulled them down to the ground, her own arousal flooding again as the brunette's scent filled her nostrils and she couldn't resist pressing her lips to an exposed inner thigh.

Emily unconsciously parted her thighs further, her hands gripping the lip of her mattress as she mentally willed JJ's mouth to move higher, just a little higher. "Please.. Pl-" And that mental urging worked; it really worked. "Oh fuck.."

JJ struggled to suppress a proud smile as she brunette whimpered against the ministrations of her tongue. She ran her tongue the whole length of Emily's pussy, purposely avoiding where she knew that the brunette craved that extra pressure, waiting for that one gesture that would tell her that she really couldn't take anymore. She licked and licked, around and close but never quite at that right spot.. until it came. Emily's hands left their controlled position on the bed and instead tangled in her silky, light brown hair, nudging her mouth closer and closer still, and she rewarded her neediness with one flick of her hot tongue against a throbbing, engorged clit; a motion that left her basking in such a heavenly sound that she couldn't resist doing it again.

"Oh God, Jayje.." Emily's hips jerked and her fingers tangled further in JJ's hair as the younger woman lapped teasingly at her clit. "You're going to hell for this.."

"Oh yeah?" JJ whispered, purposely allowing her breath to fan over the wetness of Emily's exposed pussy. "I'll save you a seat."

And that was the last thing that she said as she hooked her arms beneath Emily's thighs and sucked and licked and tasted every inch of the older woman; short fingernails tightening on her hair and scraping over her scalp as she pushed her further and further. Her own need grew with each flick of her own tongue, and as Emily's pants grew quicker and far more broken, she wrapped her mouth around the brunette's clit and sucked and licked with abandon; only one objective on her mind that soon came with a gush of hot liquid flooding her chin and thighs clamping down around her face, with hands so tight that she was certain that her hair was about to be torn out and words that she had never once heard fall from the very proper Emily's very proper lips shot through the air around them. And as the older woman's orgasms subsided to sporadic tremors, she allowed her lips to press softly to an inner thigh once more as she whispered. "How was hell?"

But when she looked up, it wasn't satiated, tired eyes that met her; it was exquisitely dark eyes that magnified the want between her own thighs, and she wasted no time in complying to the demand given.

"Come up here."

JJ moaned as she straddled the brunette's waist and two fingers dipped beneath her skirt and instantly plunged deep inside her throbbing centre as Emily's free hand pressed against her lower back.

"Hell was perfection." Emily whispered breathlessly as she thrust in and out of JJ. "I wana spend forever in hell with you."

"Oh god.." JJ whimpered as she moved against Emily's fingers, her hands gripping against the older woman's shoulders for leverage as she thrust and thrust her hips like her life depended on it. And when Emily's mouth wrapped around her nipple and her skilled tongue flicked against the aching bud, she dug her fingernails in deeper, impaled herself further on those delicious fingers. "So good.."

Emily relinquished JJ's nipple and smiled through her panting breaths as she thrust a little faster, harder. She couldn't believe that this was now her reality.. that this goddess that was currently clawing at her shoulders was actually hers, that she had chosen _her_ over the perfect lifestyle. That she had chosen her, period. "I love you, Jayje."

"I.." JJ slowed her thrusts and pressed her forehead to Emily's, willing her eyes to stay open and locked with the brunette's as she chased her orgasm through to fruition. "I love you, too. I am.. I am _so_ lucky to have you."

Emily smiled as she allowed her thumb to brush over JJ's clit and reveled in the extraordinary sight before her. Their panting breaths mingled as one as she slowly massaged JJ's clit whilst thrusting slowly and purposefully with her fingers, and she couldn't help the groan that escaped her own lips as JJ's walls tightened around her. "Come for me, beautiful.."

"I.." JJ panted as she moved herself a little quicker against Emily's hand, struggling to keep her eyes locked with the brunette's as the beginnings of her orgasm hit her. "Oh god, I'm coming.."

And what started as a delicious knot somewhere deep inside, a knot that made promises, soon more than followed through on those promises as she exploded against the fingers coaxing her towards euphoria. Her left hand clutched at the back of Emily's head, the other gripping onto the exposed skin of the brunette's shoulder, her blue eyes remaining fixed on dark brown as her mouth parted against crimson lips with a single deep moan, several unfinished panted breaths and a series of broken whimpers that indicated her subsiding release.

"You are incredible." Emily whispered, her fingers slowly moving in and out of JJ through the younger woman's remaining tremors whilst her other hand drew circles against an exposed back. "You are amazing." She gently pressed her lips to JJ's, and then to her cheek, and then to her neck as she gently withdrew her fingers. "I'm the lucky one, Jayje." She allowed her arms to wrap around her lover's small body as she met heavy, blue eyes once again. "So fucking lucky."


	16. Chapter 16

**Author's Note:** So this is it. I'm not sure I ever mentioned it, but this whole story came from one simple moment: I stepped outside for a cigarette one evening when it was snowing, and the tyre swing in the neighbours yard was swinging by itself. That was it, and then this happened. It was originally intended to be a simple case fic, without JJ and Henry and Emily taking centre stage, but I couldn't resist adding a little lady love in there. ;) I've really enjoyed writing it, even if there has been a few bumps along the way. And I really hope that you enjoyed reading it. Thank you for sticking with this story! You're all awesome.

* * *

**_Chapter Sixteen;_ Closure  
**

_Six months later:_

It was JJ who saw him last, through her suddenly clear eyes as they dropped the small box of his ashes into the ground. Her lips curled into a content smile as she felt soft fingers entwine with hers by her side; her only thought that sometimes, good really did prevail and happy endings really did happen - even if it _was_ after six months of mandatory tests and investigations and examinations done on the body of Percy Watson, until all parties involved were satisfied that nothing untoward, on JJ's part, had happened that day, and that the whole thing could finally be laid to rest.

"I thought you might wana see this, Jayje." Emily handed JJ a photograph as they left the graveside without a second glance and climbed into her car. "This is the other voice you heard when you were a kid. I figured you could use the closure and so I had a friend of mine do a little digging."

"Who is he?" JJ spoke softly as she removed her sunglasses and eyed the photograph in her hands.

"His name is Adrian Hendricks. He's Janette's husband. Well, _was_." Emily paused. "He worked for the local PD and the reason that her son's death.. _their_ son's death, was deemed an accident, is because he made it that way. He was in cahoots with Watson and the last thing he needed was someone looking into him. Unfortunately, that _loyalty_ wasn't rewarded and Watson did indeed kill him the night that he got caught twenty-two years ago." She paused again. "When the police found you, they just assumed that Adrian had gotten there first rather than that he was there as an accomplice. Since neither you nor Janette protested against this assumption at the time, no one ever questioned it - despite there being an abundance of his prints at the crime scene that wouldn't have been there from him simply checking out a lead. Janette _did_ come forward though, some years later. Turns out she found a box in their basement, full of photographs and 'trophies' that linked her husband to the children that he and Percy had.." She let her voice trail off, unable to finish her sentence, before she continued with a slightly more upbeat tone. "Anyway, she handed it over to them and upon further investigation, they found that he was a part of it all."

"Why didn't I know about this?" JJ shook her blonde head in confusion.

"Because.. her condition of giving them the contents of that box was that you never found out. It was almost three years after the case had been closed and she told the police that you didn't need the past dragging up again. And considering they had been chasing Hendricks as a dirty cop for years before his death but were never able to pin anything definitive on him, they took the deal."

"She really didn't know before she found that box?" JJ's face contorted to one that depicted her disbelief; how could Janette not have known what her husband was doing?

"I doubt it. Well, not really. From what I've read, Hendricks was a very abusive man and so she was probably scared. It's true that she was the one to call the police the night that you were found and she was actually the _reason_ that you were found, but I'm almost certain that she made that call without knowing the part that her husband played."

"Wait-" JJ swung her her around to face Emily. "-_Janette_ was the reason that I was found?"

"She was, Babe. Turns out she's had your back all along."

JJ's heart softened. She hadn't really thought of Janette Watson until this point, and she certainly hadn't met her like the rest of them had. Considering the old woman had admitted to everything and therefore didn't even have a trial, she had had no reason to meet her. But now..

"There's something that I need to do."

**CM-CM-CM**

"I understand that you were the one who took my son." JJ spoke purposely coldly as Janette nervously took up a seat at the table in front of her; before allowing her features and her voice to soften as she watched relieved eyes turned to sorrow. "I also understand that you were the one who brought him home to us."

"I just wanted him to be safe, Ms Jareau." The middle aged woman spoke softly, regretfully.

Leaning forward on her chair and resting her hands against the other woman's, JJ spoke again with a sincere and far gentler voice than the one she had opened with. "Thank you, Janette. Thank you for bringing him back to me."

A small smile pulled at Janette's aged features. "Is he doing well?"

"He's doing great." JJ nodded with a smile before reaching to the chair beside her and pushing a piece of paper across the table. "He wanted me to give this to you."

The old woman's face lit up noticeably and a gentle chuckle left her lips as she picked up the piece of paper designed with colourful versions of what she assumed to be herself and Henry eating popcorn. "He remembers me?"

"He does." JJ nodded. It was a little backwards, really; this woman had taken her son, and yet here she was, not only taking the time out of her life to visit her in prison, but actually feeling some kind of gratitude and empathy towards her. But she _was_ grateful, so very grateful. If it hadn't been for her, then her son may not even be alive right now and that didn't bear thinking about. And she was empathetic - and regretful that this woman hadn't been as lucky as she herself had. "He refers to you as the nice lady who let him stay up late."

Laughing softly, Janette nodded her head as she looked upon the drawing in her hand with teary eyes once more before finally returning it to the table. "And you, Miss Jareau. How are you doing, dear?"

A small, genuine smile graced JJ's features in an instant.

"_Where do you think you're going?" Emily smiled as she walked into the bedroom, grabbing JJ's arm and pulling her flush against her; causing the silk sheet purposefully wrapped around the younger woman's small frame to slip a little._

_Laughing, JJ responded. "I need to take a shower. I smell like sex, thanks to someone, and Henry will be awake soon."_

"_Oh, didn't I tell you?" Emily began as she pushed JJ back onto the bed, removing the sheet from her body and straddling the younger woman's waist as she pressed soft lips to an exposed neck. "I just dropped him at Garcia's. I was told, in her exact words, that you need a little Emily style TLC and that she won't be returning him until this evening. Or until she's satisfied that she's filled him with enough sugar, whichever comes first."_

_Licking her lips as Emily's trailed along her neck, across her collarbone, JJ tried to remain focused. "Emily, it's okay. __**I'm**__ doing okay. I don't need.." JJ's eyes rolled back as she felt full lips latch onto her nipple._

"_Are you sure about that?" Emily whispered with a smirk._

"_Well.. perhaps I do need a little.." JJ's words failed her as those lips left her breast, trailed down a taut stomach and lingered inches from where she craved them to be._

_Emily smiled at the moan that escaped JJ's lips as she dragged her tongue through the blonde's centre and hooked her arms beneath the blonde's thighs to part them further and give her more access.  
_

"_Emily.." JJ's back arched off of the bed, her breathing laboured as Emily trailed her tongue through wet folds, fingers tangling in raven hair as she moved her hips against the older woman's mouth. "Emily.." She breathed again before pushing the older woman back and sitting up abruptly; her hands immediately reaching for Emily's belt, the buttons on her shirt. She needed to feel skin on skin, and the offending objects were quickly removed before she pulled the brunette back against her._

"_You're so beautiful." Emily whispered honestly as she moved onto her side beside the younger woman, their bodies melded together as she slipped her hand between JJ's legs and moved purposely slowly through the wetness that she found there. She watched closely as JJ's body moved beautifully with each stroke of her fingers, almost like the sea ebbing and flowing against the shore. Heavy eyelids fell over bright blue eyes, golden hair splayed out freely against the white silk sheets of her bed, and that would have been perfection enough - but the unexpectedly strong hand that grasped at the back of her head and crashed soft lips to her own, the other hand that slipped easily between her legs and into her own wetness, and the warm body that melded further into hers forced her to rethink that notion. _

_Both women moved together, slowly, gently, fluidly; somewhat like you'd expect to read in a romance novel. There was nothing hurried, nothing forced, nothing but them and the motion of their own bodies; an unspoken gratitude for each other and the promise of days better than they had both endured in the past._

"_I love you, so much." JJ whispered through laboured breaths as she moved against Emily's hand, her own fingers thrusting gently in and out of the brunette. She'd been through hell, and this very moment was the light at the end of the tunnel that she could always make out on the horizon in the past, but could never quite reach. And now.. it was not only within her reach but right there, right by her side, against her, inside her.  
_

"_I love you too, beautiful." Emily responded sincerely as she allowed her left hand to lace through JJ's golden locks. She never thought that she'd have this moment again; was certain that it would forever remain a memory at the back of her mind, that she only allowed out when she found the strength. And yet here she was, entangled in love, moving with this angel in a silence that spoke volumes, chasing bliss with the woman she thought was lost to her forever._

_She didn't want that, she'd never wanted that – she didn't even want her to leave to move back into her own house that she had still yet to do even after two months; she wanted Henry and JJ here, where they belonged, with her. And with a shred of wondering courage that she grasped onto as euphoria burst through both of them, Emily whispered. "__¿Va a vivir conmigo, JJ?"_

"_You tease.." JJ spoke through uneven breaths as their orgasms subsided and she slowly withdrew her fingers from Emily; allowing her hand to rest gently at Emily's hips whilst the other brushed away a fallen lock of raven hair. "We've talked about this before, Em. I don't speak any language other than plain old English and I have no idea what you just said."_

"_I know." Emily smiled as she rested her forehead against JJ's, her own breaths falling as unevenly as the younger woman's. "But you should get back to me when you've figured it out." Pressing a quick kiss to JJ's lips, Emily smirked against the blonde's mouth. "Google is a wonderful thing. Though, if you come back and tell me that you don't wish to ride a bicycle through my alligator then I think you'll need to work on your search engine skills."_

A small nod came from a blonde head; her genuine smile glistening through bright blue eyes. "I'm doing wonderfully."

* * *

**Author's Note 2:** So no, Emily did not ask JJ if she would like to ride a bicycle through her alligator; she asked her to move in with her. I kinda wish that I didn't have to point that out because I think it pretty much ruins the moment that I was trying to achieve, lol, but I do not trust the translation that Google Translate gave me and I certainly don't trust that it wouldn't give you guys the same question that Emily assumes JJ will find if you were copy and paste. Therefore, I have to ruin the moment.

**PS. Two things:**

1; I've said it already but I will say it again - thank you so much for following this story and I apologise for the times that life has gotten in the way. I've learnt my lesson with that, and any future stories that I write will be written in full before I even upload chapter one so that I don't have to keep you guys waiting.

2; I apparently have an affection for utilising Emily Prentiss' ability to speak several different languages fluently and will likely continue to do that with future stories - (she's so hot when she speaks in a different language) - however, like JJ, I don't speak any language other than plain old English, and therefore I apologise if Google causes me to mess up with translations.

That is all. Thanks again!


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